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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Texans-Ravens

If you read only one column predicting what'll happen when the Texans and Ravens face off in the Ed Reed Bowl on Sunday, it should be this one. Why? I don't know. You're already reading this. Just go with the path of least resistance and click on the link.

Remember J-Jo's pick-six against the Ravens last year?
Remember J-Jo's pick-six against the Ravens last year?
Bob Levey

I'm not sure I could have been any more wrong about last week's Texans-Titans game if I'd tried. Well, that's not entirely true. I suppose I could have embraced inaccuracy with additional fervor. Like predicting that Ed Reed would play, or that Randy Bullock would miss every field goal attempt he took MC Hammer would join Vanilla Ice at midfield for the halftime show and that Z Cavariccis would fall from the sky to officially signal the arrival of the End of Days.

In other words, the only way I could have been further off the mark about Texans-Titans than I was is if I had actively tried to be wrong. Even then, I'd say it would be a close call.

A lesser man might take stock of his failings and walk away from the prediction game. I am not a lesser man. I'm just a girl Texans fan, standing in front of a boy sitting in front of a computer, asking him to love her asking you to read on AND TO LOVE ME.

You're darn right I just dropped a "Notting Hill" video clip in right after referencing a line from the movie. Friends, this is the official nadir of BRB. To the predictions!

1. Ed Reed will play on Sunday, albeit in limited action. Wild horses will not keep Ed Reed from taking the field in The Ed Reed Bowl. Not exactly a bold prediction, seeing as how I sort of already said this a few days ago. I shall up the ante: Ed Reed intercepts Joe Flacco on Sunday.

2. If Duane Brown can't go on Sunday, I genuinely fear for Matt Schaub's life. Ryan Harris and Derek Newton would seem to be a wee bit overmatched by Terrell Suggs, Elvis Dumervil, and the Ravens' pass rush. Without his All-Pro left tackle, Schaub will be under siege all afternoon, and I think it leads to him fumbling once and throwing a pick.

3. DeAndre Hopkins and Andre Johnson are going to have to be monsters for the Texans on Sunday. Fortunately, I have faith they will be. 'Dre the Elder and 'Dre the Younger will combine for 181 receiving yards and two touchdowns.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: I truly don't know what to make of this game. I believe the Texans are a better team than the Ravens. I also believe the Texans have shown they are entirely capable of losing to anyone over the first two weeks of the season. Plus, it's on the road. But what if the Ravens are missing Ray Rice (who is listed as "doubtful" and will supposedly be a game-time decision)? Argh. Predicting is hard.

I will readily admit this call is close, so you should probably only bet half your mortgage on this week's edict. Texans 24, Ravens 23.

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