Hello. I am Dynamic Dreadlocks (that is the name on my driver's license at least, the one I found in my box of fruit loops).
Many of you here know me already, so I'll leave the sentiments aside and get to the meat of this here post ...
METH METH METH BESFS BESFS BESFS METH METH ALL THE METH IN THE WORLD BESFS
It's time for our annual blood-bath, or basically, our annual "How long till JJ Watt knocks out Jake Locker" game. Unfortunately that game will probably be over after this season as it seems Jake will not be a Titan in 2015. But I digress ...
We suck. We have 2 wins and 5 losses. 1 win came against the Chiefs in the season opener, which clearly was a miracle straight from Jesus himself because if we played them again for the remainder of the season we'd finish 2-14. The other win came against the Jaguars, so it basically doesn't count. Our 5 losses have come to some good teams (Cowboys, Bengals, Colts) and some not so good teams (Browns, Washington [team name omitted because racist]).
How about the team itself? Well, not much has changed from a year ago. The offense still can't protect the QB, the QB can't protect himself, etc etc. Once again, we have to depend on a journeyman derpy QB to try and save our season and it all crashes down in a big heap of FAIL. Although Charlie Whitehurst has not been as killer with turnovers as Fitzmagic was with us, he's still not been very good at all. Defense can't tackle anyone or do anything right in general. We have a few very good players (Jurrell Casey, Kendall Wright, Delanie Walker), and a few good rookies (Avery Williamson, Taylor Lewan, ZACH METTEN--- well, gotta hold off on that for now). Special teams is terrible. In a nutshell, this is a tremendously BAD Titans team, even worse somehow than some of the worst years under Jeff Fisher and Mike Munchak. I will be surprised if this team finishes any better than 5-11, and quite frankly, I wouldn't mind finishing 2-14. There's no Andrew Luck in this draft, but having the #1 pick can't hurt, right? Whiz will probably find a way to screw that up too.
Admittedly I have not seen much out of the Texans this year, aside from Monday's game. It seemed you had that game well in hand until an incredible stroke of unluckiness occurred and you gave up 24 points in 3 minutes, or whatever it was. Looks like Fitz can manage a game well still, so long as he has a lead and doesn't need to be forced to make plays. When he's forced to do so ... it never ever ever ever ever ends well. You've seen it, I'm sure. Regardless, you still have JJ Watt, who will destroy us this week undoubtedly, and Arian Foster, who will also destroy us this week, undoubtedly. I'll be interested to see how Fitz plays though. I have a feeling you guys will jump out to a big lead and there will be no need for Fitz to try to be Fitzmagic. I'm predicting 0 (ZERO, ZILCH, NADA) turnovers for Fitzmagic this week. Am I crazy? Probably.
My score prediction is Texans 24, Titans 10. Texans jump out to a 14-0 lead, Titans get a FG before half, but Texans cruise with a powerful defense in the 2nd half and win handily. We fall to 2-6, and head into the Bye with visions of the #METTSHOW dancing in our heads.
Should you have any questions, I suppose I'll do my best to answer them, although the answer is probably just "because JJ Watt" for everything anyway.
Also I like meth.