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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Texans-Eagles

The Eagles fly into Houston for a game with the Texans tomorrow afternoon. What will happen? Everything in this post will happen, or your money back. Disclaimer: You're not getting your money back.

Tomorrows game is also know as "The Damaris Johnson Bowl."  Probably only in Damaris Johnson's house, but still.
Tomorrows game is also know as "The Damaris Johnson Bowl." Probably only in Damaris Johnson's house, but still.
Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports

When it comes to last week's predictions, you can either focus on all the stuff I got wrong (e.g., most of it), or you can focus on the part where I said the Titans were one of the five worst teams in football and the Texans would win by 14 points. Me, I'm one of those "focus on the positive" guys, especially when it serves to potentially lessen my public embarrassment, so you know what I'd recommend.

On to what'll happen when Andrew Gardner leads the Philadelphia Eagles against his old team at NRG Stadium tomorrow afternoon...

1. The Eagles will score a special teams touchdown. I'm not sure if it'll be off a punt return or a blocked Randy Bullock field goal, but I feel like it's coming and we can't do anything about it. Spoiler alert: I will react to that play in a fashion eerily reminiscent to Jimmy Conway learning Tommy DeVito was killed in "GoodFellas."

2. Nick Foles throws for two touchdowns--one to Zach Ertz in the red zone and one to Jeremy Maclin on a 20+ yard reception. Foles will also throw an interception (to Johnathan Joseph). Lest you think Foles completely outplays Ryan Fitzpatrick, know that Fitzpatrick will only throw a single pick as well.

3. Arian Foster will find the sledding as tough as it's been since the Texans played the Bills. No, I'm not suggesting Arian is in for another six yard day. I am, however, going on the record that his current four-game streak of 100+ rushing yards comes to an end tomorrow. Foster will still find pay dirt via a rushing touchdown. Joining Foster in the end zone with TDs of their own will be DeAndre Hopkins and Andre Johnson.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: It's gonna be close. Although the Eagles are capable of making games into track meets, it won't happen tomorrow. It will be a fun game that features teams trading big plays on both offense and defense. Ultimately, I think the Texans come up just short, with the Eagles winning the game on a Cody Parkey field goal on their final possession. Texans 24, Eagles 27.

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