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Hair Of The Dog: No Bloggers Were Hurt In The Making Of This Post

Kareem Jackson, Jonathan Joseph, and Arian Foster cannot finish the game that already saw Brian Cushing and JaDaveon Clowney on the sideline. Even DeMeco Ryans couldn't escape unscathed.

Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

I realized something this year about Halloween (in reality, I realized it last year, but I'm only just writing about it now).  Unlike other holidays, the way that you celebrate Halloween has a life cycle of its own.

It all starts when you're little.  At that time, your costume is a very big deal, and it's all about wearing it out to go trick-or-treating.  As you start to get a little older, the focus shifts from trick-or-treating to parties.  Over time, those parties slowly start to revolve around girls in sexy Halloween costumes and booze.

Then as you start to get older and have kids, the focus shifts back to trick-or-treating again.  This time, though, instead of walking around getting candy, you're walking around drinking beer.  This was a hidden world to me until last year and, as should surprise nobody, I love it.  It was especially awesome this year as my brother-in-law got a golf cart, so we didn't even have to walk.

Regarding Clowney being inactive:

Captain Ron:

On the way to the stadium and I hear: Cushing & Clowney inactive, field torn up by college game yesterday, and roof closed on the best weather day of the year for Houston.  Makes me want to drive my car into the ship channel.


All of those news items are sadly and totally predictable.


So wait, Clowney isn't playing because he's ill? I've been blogging with bronchitis for weeks! /totally the same thing


I'm still in the process of getting over a pretty bad episode of the sniffles myself. Clearly I'm tougher than the average bear.

The Eagles score a long touchdown right after Johnathan Joseph and Kareem Jackson are sidelined:


Hal expected help inside from a deep safety...that help wasn't there. Can't blame that entirely on him.


Well, they took advantage of that pretty quickly.

A.J. Bouye returns an interception for a TD:


Can J.J. Watt get an assist on that?


Maybe AJ Bouye should be returning punts and kicks.  Dang!


Holy kitten, Bouye. That was just what we needed.


Did anyone else get flashbacks to Petey Faggins returning a pick for a TD on Battle Red Day?

Arian Foster comes back from being nicked up to burn Connor Barwin on a TD:

Vega (just before the play):

Great.  Now Foster's hurt.


This is the kind of game that makes me think "the draft isn't too far away."


Foster ain't that hurt Vega, and my fantasy team is grateful for that fact.


Foster hurt is still the best back in the league


Arian Foster is going to be great until he is 35 because convention does not apply to Arian Foster in any way.

The Eagles follow a Randy Bullock miss with 4 straight runs for 70 yards and a TD:


Wow, that was embarrassing.


I find that you tend to tackle better when you use your arms instead of your shoulders,  Oerhaps someone should explain this concept to the Texans secondary


Swearinger has regressed so badly in every way.

DeMeco Ryans intercepts Ryan Fitzpatrick, gets injured, and fumbles.  DeAndre Hopkins recovers, and then scores two plays later:


Did the Reliant turf monster just take out Meco?


Both teams turn the ball over on the SAME KITTENING PLAY. That is the Eagles and Texans in a nut shell I think...


Is that the same area where he blew the Achilles last time?

Captain DeRon:

'Meco!  Barwin was signaling that Ryans tore his Achilles.  Same damn north end zone where it happened last time.  That's probably it for his career.  Very tragic.

Other random comments that made me laugh:


DeAndre Hopkins could catch a greased pig in a tornado.

Ryan Fitzpatrick can't even throw a pass that could be classified as a greased pig in a tornado.


Mark Sanchez versus Ryan Fitzpatrick.  I need to switch to something stronger than beer.

BFD (A/K/A Captain of the Swaggg fan club):

Swearinger, you have one.  Kittening.  Job.  One job.

Captain Ron:

After Philly TD....You can add "speed" to the Inactives list too.  Texans need that in a big way.


You mean a team using Danieal Manning as a kick returner lacks speed?


You could tell me J.J. Watt did just about anything over the rest of the season and I'd believe it.

"J.J. kicked political ads off the air, banned lobbyists, and threw for 43 touchdowns over the last 8 weeks of the season."

"Yeah, sounds like J.J. Watt."


With Ryan Fitzpatrick at QB, it's good to see Mark Sanchez stepping up to keep the Texans in the game.


Can someone tell me why, in this world of tablets, teams are still using those crappy black and white printouts?  Or do the Eagles just not think it's worth spending technology on Mark Sanchez?


The Swearinger missed tackle count and the Swearinger blown assignment count are approaching a singularity

Is anyone left?

My goodness, that was an atrocious game.  From both an execution perspective and an injury perspective, it was painful to watch (no pun intended... ok, maybe).

The Texans are a mediocre team if everyone is healthy.  When players start falling, they move from mediocre to crap.  The lack of defensive depth was exposed badly today, and if you're going to ask Ryan Fitzpatrick to win you a shootout, you might as well also ask Tony Siragusa for lessons in not being an embarrassment to humanity.

Next week's bye could not have come at a better time.  The team has the opportunity to get healthy, and the rest of us are spared having to watch Fitzpatrick play football.  I expect that he'll spend the time off selecting the wrong groceries off the shelf and throwing them into the wrong cart.

Game Balls:

Offense:  DeAndre Hopkins.  I could have gone to Arian Foster here, but unfortunately, his injury mars his day (not his fault... I know).  Hopkins had a great day and really showed some elusiveness in the open field, which hasn't really been his calling card.

Defense:  Jumal Rolle.  Yes, Watt could have gotten this again.  His line was 7 tackles, 1.5 sacks (and one more called back for penalty), 1 TFL, and 5 QB hits.  But he gets this every week.  Let's show some love to Rolle, who had his first two career picks.  Yes, he was part of an absolutely atrocious secondary.  So sue me.

Special Teams:  Shane Lechler.  Awesome as Lechler is, I absolutely hate giving this to a punter.

Eagles vs Texans coverage