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Hair Of The Dog (Texans v. Colts): Where QBs Are Made Of Glass

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We have a piper down. I repeat, a piper is down. It's alright, he's just pissed. Check out the ramblings of the Battle Red Blog staff from yesterday's Texans-Colts game.

Thomas J. Russo-USA TODAY Sports

Due to some family issues, I've been unable to watch games live recently or to do Hair of the Dog.  Big thanks to the other guys for carrying that torch in my absence.  What do you mean you didn't notice?!

Not having my platform prevented me from commenting on a brilliant idea I had regarding Thanksgiving.  So now that I have my microphone back, you will listen to what I have to say!!

Essentially, my issue with Thanksgiving is that we serve the exact same dishes every year.  While those are excellent recipes, we never try anything new because most people are hesitant to experiment for such an important meal.  The vision, then is to have a secondary Thanksgiving in the spring where nobody is allowed to make a dish that they've made before.  This will force us to come up with new ideas.

Of course, we all know that Thanksgiving is more than food.  It's about reflection and appreciation for all that we have.  So it stands to follow that at our bizarro Thanksgiving we will wax on about all who have disappointed us in the past year, and how we would all be happier if these people were out of our lives.

Andrew Luck stands to feature prominently.

And now... the dog.

Kendrick Lewis returns an interception for a touchdown.

Vega:

That pick six brought my hangover down from volcano to earthquake.

Brett:

WOOOOOOOO LEWIS IS STILL SLOW BUT HE STILL KEEPS GETTING MAGIC TURNOVERS SO I'LL TAKE IT

Rivers:

Well, that happened.

Tom Savage.

Vega:

Savage time!  My hangover returns.

Brett:

Nicolas Cage is about to make his debut at QB.

MDC:

PUT IN J.J. WATT!

Rivers:

Please don't suck please don't suck please don't suck please don't suck

Vega:

That was a nice first pass. Can we declare him awesome now?

MDC:

Case Keenum says yes.

Arian Foster scores a sweet touchdown, which is called back because of DeVier Posey.

BFD:

THAT WAS KITTENING HOLDING???

MDC:

Oh, so they call those holding penalties. Where the DB barely gets touched. But not the ones where Watt gets raped. OK.

Rivers:

I mean, it's still right to blame DeVier Posey for that, right?

MDC:

Of course. He's a piece of kitten.

Brett:

I can't wait for the day we eventually draft Joey Bosa just to piss MDC off...

Tom Savage takes a shot to the knee late in the game, prompting Shane Lechler to start warming up.

Brett:

That knee injury didn't look good. Mother of god this team has no luck in Indy at all.

BFD:

So, is our starter next week Thad Lewis?

Brett:

If the knee injury is series, and it definitely looked like it was serious, yeah Thad Lewis is the guy.

Rivers:

Words I think we all expected to read this season.

Other random comments that made me go "hmmm..."

MDC:

With that second sack, Watt passed Mario for most in team history.

Rivers:

This Watt guy is pretty special.

MDC:

Correction: ties Mario. He'll pass Mario some time early in the third quarter.

Vega (after a Posey penalty)

Good to see Posey making an impact

Vega:

I'm not too disappointed when the Colts get a first down.  Watching Watt is more entertaining than watching the offense.

Brett:

That was a nice toss by Savage there. To Posey no less....is this preseason?

BFD:

That was gorgeous touch on the deep ball to Posey.

Late last night I realized something.  Being the backup quarterback for the Houston Texans may be among the most dangerous jobs in the world.  In 2011, when Albert Kittening Haynesworth fatted on Matt Schaub's foot, thus ending the best chance the Texans ever had at making a deep playoff run, Matt Leinart lasted less than a game before breaking and forcing T.J. Yates into action.

In 2013, Yates himself was the backup and never even got to start a game before being hit by the same stick of suck that forced Matt Schaub out of the game.  This launched the Case Keenum experience (just let that sink in for a second).

This year, Ryan Mallet got two whole games in before a torn pec ended his season.  Interestingly enough, he had replaced an ineffective Ryan Fitzpatrick.  This pressed Fitzpatrick into the backup role, which he held for the aforementioned two games before being thrust back into a starting role, which he held for a whole game and a half before breaking his leg.

So, all in all, it seems that the powers that be have decided that the Houston Texans shall not have healthy and/or effective quarterbacks on their roster.

So it is written, so it shall be.

Game Balls:

Offense: Arian Foster.  It wasn't his best game statistically, but considering the MASH unit that was the quarterbacks, it's absolutely amazing that he was as effective as he was.  Special  mention to the o-line as well.  It's truly a testament to Foster's ability as a running back and makes me sad that we'll likely see his best years wasted due to crappy quarterback play, just like has happened with Andre Johnson.

Defense: J.J. Watt.  Because it's always J.J. Watt.  Kendrick Lewis may deserve a mention for his pick-six, but only one of those guys makes me giggle regularly.

Special Teams: Eddie Pleasant.  This is simply a nod to his fantastic hit on Josh Cribbs.

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