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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Texans-Ravens

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The Houston Texans are starting a QB who wasn't even on the roster this time last week. Will that factor into this week's prediction schtick on Battle Red Blog? Only one way to find out. CLICK. THAT. LINK.

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I am ashamed I have failed to make greater use of this image over the past week.
I am ashamed I have failed to make greater use of this image over the past week.
Evan Habeeb-USA TODAY Sports

The last time the Houston Texans played the Baltimore Ravens, the prevailing storyline was Ed Reed's return to Baltimore and his debut for the Texans. I hilariously predicted Reed would intercept Joe Flacco.

Oh, me of September 2013. You were so naive. So innocent. So, so dumb.

This time around, the predominant storylines surrounding the Texans-Ravens clash are Gary Kubiak's homecoming, Owen Daniels' homecoming, and how Case Keenum is going melt the faces of all the non-believers now that he's once again the starting quarterback for your Houston Texans.

How, if at all, will those things affect my predictions this week? Spoiler alert: A LOT. Let's get to it before I start cutting video of Kubes set to this little ditty.

1. Houston's offense has revolved around Arian Foster all year, and nothing will change on Sunday. For the Texans to have a chance, Arian has to be even more special than usual. Although the Ravens will be focused on stopping Foster, I still predict he finishes with 93 yards rushing and a TD.

2. The book on defending Case Keenum is short and simple. Send pressure, and Keenum will make a mistake, whether it be turnover or a disastrous sack that was likely made worse by Case running backward or turning his back to the line of scrimmage. Baltimore's pass rush, led by Terrell Suggs and Elvis Dumervil, is nasty, and I fully expect them to successfully harass Keenum all afternoon. I say Keenum throws at least one interception and gets sacked at least four times.

3. What is the single most infuriating play that could happen on Sunday afternoon? A Jacoby Jones return for a touchdown, right? It's coming. Prepare yourself.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: Gary and Owen get their revenge, thanks in large part to quarterback play from the Texans that will have you longing for the days that Matt Schaub was treating us to the prettiest play-action in the game. Weep not for the memories. Ravens 24, Texans 13.

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