Dear Santy Claus,
We've always been pretty tight, right? Aside from Charley Casserly and Travis Johnson, we've been pretty cool. I mean, it's not like you can control everything. Thus, here is my 2014 Christmas Wish List, assuming you're still OK with my working definition of "naughty."
1. I'd please like a quarterback who's good in 2015 and definitely not one who is ELITE AS KITTEN.
2. Tacos and beer, but you knew that already.
3. That Keshawn Martin become your caretaker on the Island of Misfit Toys.
4. New knees for Brian Cushing.
5. Heck, new knees for me!
6. While we're at it, may I have some hair back? And on my head this time?
7. Ten years off Chris Myers' age. He may not be Andre Johnson, but he's been a fantastic player for us for many years. We're going to miss him.
8. Jet pack.
9. Fat Camp with Randy Bullock.
10. Finally, a Super Bowl winning smile on Andre Johnson's face.
Your bestie 4evah,