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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Texans-Jaguars

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Believe it or not, AFC South rivals Houston and Jacksonville have yet to play each other this season. What'll happen when they meet on Sunday? One Texans fan makes his predictions.

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Haven't had a picture of Randy Bullock in awhile.
Haven't had a picture of Randy Bullock in awhile.
Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

If you're the type of sports fan who demands accountability in his predictions posts, kindly leave you might notice that last week's edition of "Three and Out" somehow neglected to mention that Ryan Fitzpatrick would throw six (6!) TDs against the Titans. It might then be totally annoying natural to wonder why a self-proclaimed psychic didn't see that rather momentous achievement coming.

I have nothing to hide. I'll address that point right now. The reason I didn't write anything predicting that Ryan Fitzpatrick would throw six (6!) TDs in a single game is because...

Wait, what were we talking about? I don't even remember. That clip of a shrimp running on a treadmill set to Benny Hill's theme song has totally distracted me. Best that we move on to this week's predictions before I forget anything else.

1. The Texans are going to score a defensive touchdown. The easy guess would be on a J.J. Watt fumble recovery, but I'm calling an interception returned for a touchdown. By A.J. Bouye. Go big or go home when writing predictions on the internet about the Texans-Jaguars game that will be played on December 7, 2014, I always say.

2. DeAndre Hopkins will not replicate his 238 yard, 2 TD performance from a week ago, chiefly because I'm not facing him with a fantasy football playoff berth on the line. Instead, Nuk has to settle for a six catch, 104 yard, 1 TD day at the office.

3. Arian Foster breaks the century mark on the ground and adds three receptions for another 38 yards. He'll also find the end zone for the twelfth time this season.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: A thought struck me last night...isn't the Jaguars' future brighter than that of the Titans right now? Top to bottom, doesn't Jacksonville have more talent on its roster than Tennessee does? Isn't it more likely Blake Bortles is a long-term answer at QB than Zach Mettenberger is? Have the Titans quietly become the worst team in the AFC South (which is really saying something)? I answer all those questions in the affirmative, and I believe the Texans' game against the Jaguars will be closer than either of Houston's victories over Tennessee this season. Texans 24, Jaguars 17.

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