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Hey, you. How are you feeling? Pretty bummed out about this Andre Johnson folderol, huh? Yeah, it's no fun.
You need a reason to smile. You need to cheer up. You need the Texans' new planetoid nose tackle, Louis Nix (a/k/a "Irish Chocolate"), singing Rascal Flatts' "God Bless The Broken Road."
See? Feeling better already, aren't you? Thank you, Rivers McCown, for bringing this slice of joy to the attention of the masses.