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2014 NFL Draft Results: Houston Texans Take Jadeveon Clowney First Overall

The Houston Texans have taken Jadeveon Clowney with the first overall pick of the 2014 NFL Draft. If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of every quarterback in the NFL weeping on their couches.

Be afraid, Andrew Luck. Be very, very afraid - Jadeveon Clowney and J.J. Watt are now on the same team.  The Houston Texans have made Jadeveon Clowney the top pick in the 2014 NFL Draft.

Bill O’Brien and Company have finally ended our long, arduous journey to the first overall pick of the 2014 NFL Draft by pairing up the former South Carolina defensive end with arguably the best football player on the planet. I have expressed concerns in the past that Clowney’s physical skillset would not mesh well with Romeo Crennel’s base 3-4 defense, but a stellar pro day quickly allayed all of those fears when Clowney displayed an almost absurd combination of speed, quickness, and flexibility in position drills.  In short, passing on this level of physical talent would have been a damn near fireable offense.

Spencer Hall put it best in his reaction to Clowney’s famous hit on Vincent Smith.

I don't even know whether to give Vincent Smith credit for getting up. I will, but that's a personal choice left to you, because that kind of violence, even in a violent sport like football, is not part of the expected contract between you and the game. You expect contact, even violence, and always the pain of random injury. You do not expect a sasquatch on the hunt to apparate from thin air at 20 miles per hour. It is not part of anyone's plan ever, and Jadeveon Clowney is officially unreasonable to expect on a football field.

You know what’s even more unreasonable to expect than Jadeveon Clowney? The fact that a genetic monstrosity like that is only the second biggest defensive threat on his own team. Throw in a side of Brian Cushing, a dash of Kareem Jackson, a sprinkle of Johnathan Joseph, and a nice glaze of D.J. Swearinger, and you have yourself a recipe for a weapon of mass destruction. Should we start a pool for the number of bruised sternums on the other team by the end of the season? I think we should.

Get hyped, Houston. This is happening.

As for the rest of the NFL, get ready for pain. This is happening.