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Saturday Night's Alright For Commenting: BRB Open Thread (6/7/2014)

If you're going to have a red eye, at least make it a "Battle Red Eye!" Welcome to the Saturday Night Open Thread.

Today we are inspired by our very own OneManBlitz. He fired this shot across the bow during his invasion of southern Oklahoma last night:

I'm gonna' do a preemptive strike for S.N.O.T.

Revolver brand of beer, their Blood And Honey beer….OMGZ, I JUST FELL IN LOVE.

At the Grand Luxe restaurant in Dallas Galleria, with the wife and kids…just what the doctor ordered.

American Wheat Ale – ABV: 7% IBU: 20An

Unfiltered deep golden ale made with malted two row barley and wheat. The brew is finished with Blood Orange zest, local Fall Creek Farms Honey and other spices that bring special flavors to this unique beer.

by OneManBlitz on Jun 6, 2014 | 8:49 PM

This combined with the week I had, which included an unpleasant eye injury leaving me with just one good eye heading into the weekend (like a pirate: "ARGGH!"), had me thinking that it is time to revisit the popular Captain's Log theme of sharing recipes.  We need a drink to fit the Battle Red theme as well...what to do...what to do...aha!

Let's get some recipes for a Battle Red Eye drink!

First, we must consider existing references:

Classic Red Eye Recipe

3/4 glass beer
1 oz vodka
tomato juice
optional: raw egg (warning: raw eggs have a high risk of containing salmonella and are not recommended)

Pour vodka into a beer glass one half to three-quarters filled with beer. Top with tomato juice, and serve.
You could do like the character Doug Coughlin, in the movie "Cocktail," and toss a raw egg into it as well.  Don't you miss the good ol' days when raw eggs were actually safe to eat?  Yeah, me neither. I cooked them then as well.

While I am personally not a huge fan of a lot of Tom Cruise movies, I will give credit to the 80's film "Cocktail;" it contained some of the best coordinated bottle-work I have ever seen behind a bar.  I wish there were trendy bars in Houston that would showcase talent like this once in a while.  Then again, it would just take that much longer to get my drink order, so never mind.  We'll leave it to Hollywood for such things:

This beer and tomato juice blend doesn't sound all that appetizing to be honest.  Also, J.J. Watt doesn't eat raw eggs since the team nutritionist won't allow players to risk getting sick from salmonella poisoning, even though he has been going through a "Rocky" lifestyle preparing for this year. So what to do?  Well, we went into the Battle Red Test Kitchen to formulate a cocktail that would work around the same name, but would lean heavier toward the ever popular versions of an enhanced bloody mary.

Now I'm all for pageantry to celebrate things like watching our Houston Texans play football, or just waking up alive after a riotous night of cards, dancing, or whatever keeps you up past your normal bedtime, I have to draw the line when people take the garnishment of cocktails to ridiculous levels.  I mean, at some point I actually do want to get to the beverage!

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That being said, there are two things I don't risk: I don't ever rifle through a woman's purse, even if it's my wife, mother or sister who sent me on a confusing and often perilous journey with full permission to do so; and I don't get between bloody mary connoisseurs and their choice of vodka, mix and/or garnishments.  On that note, PLEASE feel free to substitute to your heart's content with your preference of bloody mary mix, brand of vodka, and various garnishments.  Here is the recipe we came up with as the flavor of choice in this death valley, summer doldrums, of the Texans' offseason:

Battle Red Eye - Bloody Mary

INGREDIENTS:

3 cups tomato juice
3 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons lime juice
1 tablespoon prepared horseradish
1 tablespoon Worcestershire Sauce, or to taste
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon hot sauce (recommended: Tabasco Habanero)
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Vodka (recommended: Titos)
Crisp bacon strips
Celery stalks
Spiced / pickled green beans and/or okra

DIRECTIONS

For the crisp bacon garnish:
Place strips of smoked bacon onto a sheet pan fitted with a rack and place into a cold oven. Turn the oven to 400 degrees F and cook for about 12 to 15 minutes, depending on how crispy you like your bacon (I do mine for 20 minutes, because CRISPY!). Remove from rack and drain on paper towels, and allow to cool.

For the drink:
In a blender, combine the tomato juice, lemon juice, lime juice, horseradish, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, and hot sauce and process until smooth. Transfer to a nonreactive container and add salt and black pepper to taste. Refrigerate until thoroughly chilled, at least 2 hours and up to overnight.

Optional glass rim treatment:
Some folks like to rim the glass with salt or a spicy mix.  If you choose to do this, rub the rim of the glass with a fresh slice of lime, then slowly rub the rim of the glass into the salt or spicy mix that has been spread out over a small plate or in the flat-wide container it came in from the store.

When ready to serve:
Fill each glass with ice.  Add 1 to 2 ounces of vodka to each glass, then fill the glass with the bloody mary mix. Stir well, and garnish each glass with a bacon strip, celery stalk, and optional pickled green bean and/or a pickled okra.

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There's a drink you can be proud to enjoy this evening, or perhaps tomorrow during a nice summer brunch!  Share your favorite bloody mary recipe, a favorite beer you may have recently discovered (like OMB did last night), or another adult beverages you like to enjoy in the comments below.  The floor is open for your comments on this lovely Saturday, and as always, be mindful of our community guidelines.