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Featuring Not-Brice-McCain
Featuring Not-Brice-McCain
Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

For the Texans' offense -- which, sources tell me, is not an oxymoron -- the first half was 55 game minutes of suck and about 5 of, "Man, I'm glad DeAndre Hopkins' parents had carnal relations some time in the fall of 1991."

Quick hits, both good and bad (mainly bad):

  • Kareem Jackson is tackling like it's 2010.
  • Justin James Watt is bound and determined to bend E.J. Manuel's wookiee at some point today.
  • Darryl Morris is all over the place.
  • I fully expect Andre Johnson to redeem himself with a huge TD in the second half.
  • I fully expect Ryan Fitzpatrick to continue to make me want to throw my dog at the TV.
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