Hair of the Dog: Tastes Like Victory (Texans v. Bills)

I actually missed out on today's game as I had to go to a friend's wedding.  While I hate the idea of somebody getting married on a Sunday during football season, this was a great time.  It was a very nice wedding out on the beach, and instead of a traditional reception, they had a great brunch and then a fantastic beach party.  Left to my own devices, I'd probably still be out there, but fortunately for me (and you) I have a wife who looks after me and brought me home.

So, after consuming an unhealthy amount of bacon and beer, I came home and fired up the DVR to see what the Texans did in my absence.  If this is the worst HotD of all time, you can blame the beer and sun.  If it's the best HotD of all time, you can thank the beer and sun.  It will be a bit of a shortie, though as many of our comrades were at the game and commenting to real live human beings instead of computers.

Andre Johnson loses a fumble.

BFD:

How was forward progress not stopped?  That's horrible.

Rivers:

Andre has not had a great few weeks.

Corzo:

Forward progress didn't really seem applicable there... the second tackler just made a good play.

Ryan Fitzpatrick has a nice TD pass to DeAndre Hopkins and then illegal celebration insanity ensues.

Corzo:

Excessive celebration? Did the ref really say, "going to the ground in the end zone"?

WTF

Credit due: ballsy play on 3rd down to extend the drive by Fitzpatrick... good throw afterwards to DeAndre.

MDC:

I think Mallett just tried to knock Shitzpatrick out to save us from a second half of Suck Dynasty's beard.

J.J. Watt does... well, you know what happened.

Corzo:

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

ALL HE DOES IS CATCH TOUCHDOWNS!!!!!!!!

MDC:

Words fail to describe my love for Justin James Watt.

BFD:

JJ Watt really needs better competition than what the lowly NFL has to offer.

MDC:

That's why they have to flag him for B.S. penalties.  Just to keep it from looking like he's playing Madden on rookie mode.

Rivers:

Can we play him on offense?

Author's Note:  Since I wasn't around to comment on this live, here are two thoughts I have regarding this play.  1)  To me, the most amazing part about this play is the speed Watt showed going 80 yards for the TD.  He's 290 pounds!!  2)  Does it bother anyone else that there needs to be some sort of distinction between regular season stats and post season stats?  They kept saying it was his first "regular season" interception as if there's some magical line drawn at the end of the season.  Yes, the post-season is "different" and yes, only a subset of teams get to play in the post-season.  It's not like it's the difference between pre-season and regular season, though.  This was Watt's second career interception, second career return TD, and third career TD.  End of story.  Everything else is semantics.

Other random comments that made me laugh.

MDC:

People who plan Sunday weddings (or anything else) during football season are telling you it's OK to remove them from your life.

mbw:

What's the record for most three and outs in a game? Because this one might break it.

BFD:

Back to Keshawn Martin returning punts?  FIRE MARCIANO.

MDC:

I feel like the team is just trolling BRB now.

Very odd game.  Maybe it was the afternoon hangover talking, but the whole game felt like the Texans were the superior team, but just couldn't pull away.  Maybe they weren't superior.  Maybe I'm just drunk.

As the game wore on, I was thinking that if you had told me before last season started (remember when we thought we were a Super Bowl contender?) that we would surpass 2013's win total in 2014 before October, I would have just stared at you funny wondering when you were going to start drooling.

Yet, here we are.  When all was said and done, the Texans were saved by the J.J Wattness of J.J. Watt and by Andre Johnson and DeAndre Hopkins being their typical stellar selves (fumble aside).

I'd write more, but I'm probably going to pass out.

Game Balls:

Offense:  DeAndre Hopkins deserves this more than anyone, but I'm feeling generous today, so I'm going to give it to Ryan Fitzpatrick.  Yes, you read that right.  Look, in no way am I suggesting that he's not a train wreck waiting to happen, but this week, he stayed on the rails and deserves credit for doing so.  I can't completely fault him on the picks (it's not terrible to throw one up to Hop now and again, and the other one was tipped), and he made some nice plays in the second half.  So, there we go.

Defense:  J.J. Watt.  Duh.

Special Teams:  Randy Bullock.  You know, I think it's a bit past due to give Randy some props.  His career started about as shaky as could be imagined, but he's turned into a reliable kicker.  Those two 50 yarders yesterday were about as solidly hit as you could ask.  They look like they would have been good from 60 plus.

Bills vs Texans coverage