This is what it's come to. I want it to be over. The defense's instability and the lack of quarterback play has doomed this season before the halfway point. The Jaguars have an opportunity to knock the Texans out of having any hope of a playoff run in Week sSx.
So please, Jaguars, get it over with. At least I'll know my Sundays will be cleared up.
Now the infographic:
Now for the X-Factors:
Jadeveon Clowney......oh wait!
/Coats a chilled glass with absinthe, runs a lemon around the rim, and then adds: bitters-infused sugar cube and chilled rye whiskey.
/Stirs it to dissolve the sugar cube.
/Slams it on the counter.
/Repeats the above process three more times.
I was tempted to say Brian Hoyer, hoping that the good version shows up this week, but there's numerous examples to suggest that he'll be benched for Ryan Mallett at some point.
It seems like there's no point in hoping the defense can do their job as long as RAC is drawing up the scheme.
I guess I'm going with Arian Foster as the X-Factor this week. Hopefully DeAndre Hopkins gets early and consistent success to help open up the running game for Foster. This should equate to points for Houston, and keep that terrible Texans defense off the field as much as possible.
Brian Hoyer. I know it's heresy to say it, but he actually looked competent against the Colts...right up until he threw one of the (actually, perhaps THE) worst interception I've ever seen. If he resembles the guy who played the Colts before that terrible pick, the Texans should win. If he doesn't, they won't.
Allen Robinson is my X-Factor this week. He's developing into a dangerous, downfield weapon, which should pose a real challenge to our DB corpse (sic), which hasn't played up to expectations.
Arian Foster. He had more of an impact as a receiver on third down last week than as a runner on first and second down, and I think that role will continue this Sunday against an underrated Jags run defense. If he can keep drives alive as a safety blanket for Brian Hoyer, this offense might finally be able to put up some steady points.
Cecil Shorts the Fourteenth is coming back to Jacksonville. He's out for blood like a bath salted infected Floridian face-biting zombie. N one, not anyone, can stop him. Not even Brian Hoyer. I guarantee you Shorts will play even though he's listed as questionable after Bill O'Brien and Ryan Mallett destroyed his shoulder, and I guarantee you the Jags will pay for replacing him with the trio of Hurns, Robinson, and Lee.
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