BRB Staff Predictions (Week Sixteen): Houston Texans at Tennessee Titans

A week after finally breaking through with a win against the Colts in Indianapolis, the Houston Texans, however unlikely this was weeks ago, are poised to clinch the AFC South Divisional title (pending various scenarios).  To do it, not only will they have to do it against one of the worst teams in the NFL, but this horrible Tennessee Titans team doesn't even have starting quarterback Marcus Mariota, who is out with a knee injury.  Instead, the Texans will once again face Zach Mettenberger, who is terrible (#analysis.)  As of this entry, there is still no official word as to whether Brian Hoyer will play Sunday, but I'm working under the assumption that he will not.  It's not like the Texans are anything resembling a dominant force - but it really shouldn't matter who stars at QB for the Texans in this game.  On to the predictions:

Chris: Texans 20, Titans 6.

I'm just not seeing much to worry about here (which may be reason to worry in and of itself?)  The Titans are awful in every way, and Zach Mettenberger is arguably the worst QB I have seen in the last several years.  Houston's offense will struggle, of course.  I just can't conceive of any way the Titans' offense moves the ball against Houston unless they come up with some kind of crazy game plan.  Even then, it's tough to imagine the Texans won't be able to adjust to whatever Tennessee comes up with - and I do expect them to come out strong and with some wrinkles on offense.

Let's not forget J.J. Watt absolutely OWNS Chance Warmack, and I'm desperately hoping Watt sees fit to line up against him rather than setting up wide outside as he has most of this season.  I look for a big game from Houston pass rushers Watt, Jadeveon Clowney, and Whitney Mercilus.

Capt Ron: Texans 24, Titans 3.

THIS is the game where rookie Kevin Johnson takes an interception to the house. Jadeveon Clowney racks up two more sacks on the season, and Charles James gets a forced fumble and recovery on special teams. The offense does just enough, and the Texans return home as the AFC South Division Champs!

Weston: Texans 23, Titans 10.

The only thing the Tennessee Titans are good at is rushing the passer. Houston is a better team. They win easily.

MDC: Texans 77, Titans 0.

Mettenberger's tears-infinitely sad and delicious.

bfMFd: Texans 23, BE-SFs 9.

The Tennessee BE-SFs, the team with the flaming thumbtack logo, are a football abomination.  The team will forever be cursed by Beelzebud's greed and ignorance, almost a bad enough punishment for prior deeds.

As far as the game, the BE-SFs won't be able to do anything meaningful offensively, and even the nine (9) points I've given them is probably too generous.  Offensively, we'll be able to do just enough to put points on the board in a game that will never be as close as it looks.

Cousins might get the night off, but if you're a goat in Tennessee, now would be a good time to flee.

Texans vs Titans coverage