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Texans-Saints Live: Third Quarter Open Thread

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Listen to the dulcet tones of Randy Moss's West Virginia accent, then continue the conversation below.

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Continuing the observations, because that's all you get in a preseason thread, folks:

-Jaelen Strong has amazing athleticism. And he seems to have taken Bill O'Brien's "get your head out of your ass" speech to heart a few weeks ago.

-Troy Aikman keeps talking about Brian Hoyer like Hoyer is a rookie or hasn't started in the NFL before. "[Recognizing what no safety in the middle of the field means] will come from experience." We can only hope Hoyer lives that long, I suppose.

-GREAT punt coverage by Kevin Johnson. Not sure why the second man down seemed to be trying to knock KJo into the endzone, however.

-Bouye is Senegalese for either the fruit of the Baobab tree or for "liability in one-on-one coverage."

-Since the Bouye PI, the Texans' D has looked positively Richard Smithian.

-I like Andre Hal most of the time. He seems like a decent enough option at safety much of the time. But, dear Durga, he is undersized against TEs. Like, comically so. Sure, TEs are getting bigger and bigger, so it's not like many safeties are great physical matchups with most TEs, but the thought of Hal on someone like Julian Thomas gives me night terrors.

-Kevin Johnson is a bad man. And not "bad" in the A.J. Bouye sense of the word.

-Since I referred to the D as Richard Smithian, they haven't been. You're welcome.

-Ryan Mallett, come on down! You get your first reps by taking snaps in your own end zone, behind the 2/3 team O-line. Have fun!

-Ryan Mallett to Ryan Griffin is a homeless man's Tom Brady to Rob Gronkowski.

-Christian Covington sighting.

-Kevin Johnson, still a rookie. A very good rookie, with a super high ceiling, but -- still a rookie.  Still better than Bouye, though.

-Luke McCown just got Dented. And I will not apologize for that joke.

-Ryan Mallett is doing his damnedest to make O'Brien's Hoyer choice look correct.

-Sure, Mallett looks bad, but I'm still blaming that incomplete on Keshawn Martin. Because I can.

-Tony Washington with a strip sack! Which led to the best three seconds of the day: J.J.'s reaction to an unexpected, excited punch in the chest from Mike Vrabel.

-"Oh, I'm overthrowing WRs? Let me bounce this one behind a guy, then we'll start to dial it in from there." -R. Mallett [maybe]

-GO AWAY, KESHAWN MARTIN! WE HAVE ALREADY HIT OUR SPARTY QUOTA!

-Fiedorowicz is an old Czech word that translates as "Ryan Griffin."

-J.J. Watt looked he was saying "just hold on to the ball, dude." Which is both good advice and a reminder that the Texans' best TE plays DE.

-It's third and ten. We've secretly replaced Bill O'Brien with Gary Kubiak for one snap. Let's see if anyone notices. /draw play

-The best thing about that Zach Hocker 53-yarder is that it will probably get the Saints to keep him, which is fine, because long-form comedy is always the funniest when it pays off.

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