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2016 Week Six Sunday Night Football Infographic: Houston Texans vs. Indianapolis Colts

The battle for the south rages on.

Dearest Petunia,

I write to you from Houston as the battle for the AFC South rages on. I return to where I was raised, battered and bruised from the year’s previous battles. But my focus is 100 percent on the fiends clad in blue and red.

The Texans have a new field general, Brock Osweiler. He is brash; at times, too brash. Yet he appears to have the talents of a worthy foe if given time. Thus, I must crush him before he is given any confidence.

Though I lost the battle last year against Houston, the war is not over. The Texans are without their greatest weapon, J.J. Watt. In weeks past leading up to the game, I had nightmares of Watt. Without him on the field, my mind is clear and alert.

Thank you for sending the beard cream, two bottles of whisky, and the corncob pipe. They have brought me much comfort.

Sincerely yours,

Colonel Andrew Luck of the Blue Colt Division