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Hair Of The Dog (Texans-Colts): ‘Til The Last Dog Is Hung

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The BRB crew get together to talk, whine, tear their hair out (those who have hair, anyway) about the Sunday Night tilt with the Colts.

Indianapolis Colts v Houston Texans
Has this man turned the corner? Was this a statement game?
Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images

I imagine there’s quite a few of you peace and football-loving Texans fans who, after a half of complete garbage crap football, probably tuned out to do other things. Perhaps you watched the NLCS instead. Maybe you worked on your model of the Siege of Stalingrad.

Whatever you did, if you ducked out early on the Texans’ game, I can’t say I blame you. Not one little bit. Because frankly, it was mostly awful to watch and looked like yet another Texans’ prime time game. You know what I mean.

But for those of you who stayed up late to watch the Texans’ comeback against the Colts to make their claim for King of the Dumpster that is the AFC South (which needs to be shortened), you got to see something...special? I’m not sure if that was a turning point or not for Brock Osweiler’s development. We’ll see on Monday night against Denver.

In the meantime, here’s the BRB Hive Mind discussing, and mostly complaining, about the Texans. Enjoy!

As always, all swear words have been replaced with the word kitten to make this safe for work.

Pre-Game Thoughts:

BRC

All I ask is that you don't make me stay up till 4 in the morning to watch you get embarrassed again.

Capt Ron

I'm eating a rendered pork belly and pickled-onion sandwich while sipping a top-shelf margarita. While this is a fabulous pre-game culinary experience at NRG Stadium, please don't let this be the highlight of the night. You hear me Brock?!! I'm calling your kitten out right now! Step it up!!!

UT

Can anyone explain to me how the Texans got five prime time games this year, including this SNF game?

Capt Ron (to UT):

Someone hates Houston?

Weston

#FirstWorldProblems

UT

I'm seeing pictures of Altuve on the field at the Texans game, and I think the only people he's taller than are children.

BFD

I don't remember dreading a game as much as I'm worried about tonight's. Do we get blown out? Win? Win but look like kitten?

And now, we're hearing reports that the player's fee fees are hurt because of all the negativity? How about balling tonight to give us some optimism and not be down by 21 before the first quarter is over, mmm-kay?

UT

Not even last week's Vikings game?

I was dreading the hell out of that one.

BFD

No, as I was pretty sure we'd lose that game. For us to have a chance to make the playoffs, though, we've pretty much got to sweep the divisional games. A home loss against The Dread Pirate Neckbeard would really suck.

Vega

I just got back from spending the weekend at Disney World with the family for my niece's birthday. I'm freaking tired, and if the Texans are getting pantsed by halftime, I'm going to sleep.

BFD

And Vega drops the hottest taek of them all. Kill the thread. We're done here.

BRC

Aboushi and Chris Clark are our starting RG and RT. We should count ourselves lucky that the Colts have no form of pass rush otherwise we'd be in trouble.

UT (in response to BFD)

I'm going to have to stretch HotD a lot in that case.

First Quarter:

UT

Hey, Lamar Miller with yardage up the middle! That's novel!

Mike

There ya go Miller (x2)!

Really? It's entirely too early to have an almost pick by Os...

BRC

More than 2 yards on a run up the middle?

Vega

And there's your first kitteny throw by Hop. Coincidentally, it occurred on his first throw.

UT

We're finally getting deep throws and he's overthrowing the kitten out of Hopkins.

Mike

Hmmm... one big run then ABANDON THE RUN!

Good to see they fixed all the problems with the offense... wait...

Capt Ron

First series of the game, and Houston has already hit Brock Bottom. Kitten this kitten and put Savage in!

Mike

Watt isn't there for us to enjoy that one-two punch...

Vega

I was just thinking the same thing, Mike. I think the universe couldn't handle it, so it's kind of like a self defense type of thing.

Mike

All my life, when you have a young QB who is struggling, the way to get him going is to start with high percentage passes, like swings and such. Instead, Houston is trying to go all Air Coryell... why? Lamar Miller in space should be money.

BRC

You just don't throw on Pleasant Island

Vega

Or Braxton Miller, for that matter. I mean, the reason that pick got such rave reviews is because having such a dynamic athlete paired with BOB's brilliant offensive mind was going to be nigh unstoppable, right?

UT

This was supposed to be Bill O'Brien's Flying Circus. So far the only part that's accurate is circus.

MDC

Here's your weekly reminder about how much I hate Brock Kittenweiler.

BFD

Osweiler has dropped back four times. He was strip-sacked in one and terribly inaccurate on his other three throws.

UT

o/~ Someday they'll find it, the Texans connection. The Osweiler, his receiver, and me. o/~

Capt Ron

Raise your hand if you wish Brock Osweiler would use Ryan Mallet's alarm clock.

Vega

Text exchange between my brother-in-law and myself just now:

Him: Texans secondary looks good

Me: Yup. And their offense makes other secondaries look good

Him: Osweiler looks awful

Me: That's because he is

BRC

KJo needs to work on his celebration game

Mike (after Adam Vinatieri put the Colts up 3-0):

Hopefully Vinateri didn't just kick them to an insurmountable lead...

BFD

Sad, Mike, that I had the same thought. Then I remembered the defense.

UT

I'm a little disappointed we haven't had any stupid Colts hijinx like that fourth and whatever thing they did against New England or that kickoff against the Bears last week.

Vega

You know what we should do on offense? How about the same kittening thing?

BFD

Six dropbacks by Osweiler: one sack and fumble, five inaccurate passes, though one was caught by Hopkins. This is ridiculous.

UT

Are we sure Ryan Mallett didn't kidnap Osweiler and take his place just to kitten with us? Because these throws Osweiler is making are Ryan Mallett "who needs touch when I can throw it really hard" specials.

BRC

I didn't see much wrong with the throw to Jaelen, but the others have been bad.

Capt Ron

O'Brien's version of the Houston Texans makes me want to break valuables with wanton abandon.

Mike

At some point, $37 million be kittened, they gotta hook him and let Savage try...

BRC

A 31 yard punt Lechler? Really?

Mike

All the huge optimism from the end of the preseason - completely reversed now... it's like watching someone continue to turn on a light switch that controls a burned out bulb and hoping the light turns on sooner or later...

BFD

And the bulb is named Brock Osweiler, amirite?

Second Quarter:

BRC

What happened to that pre-season offensive improvement?

Everything was looking like it was getting going, now.. nothing.

On Jack Doyle scoring a touchdown (10-0 Colts):

Mike

Game Over...

MDC

Jack Doyle rules.

UT

If you had Jack Doyle as this week's "No-name player that the Texans make famous" congratulations! You just won the pool!

Vega

Well, on the bright side, it looks like I might get a good night's sleep out of this.

Mike

Good night Vega. If you have one of those dreams that you can control the outcome, dream the Texans are great.

Weston

Doyle has been pretty good all year. Coby Fleener sucks so much.

Brock Kittenweiler is my new favorite thing ever.

UT

[Fleener] had a pretty good game against Carolina today.

Mike

If I was D-Hop, I wouldn't even sign a contract extension at this point, I'd be looking for an out...

Vega

Thanks, Mike, but I'm going to hang until at least half time. Because I'm stupid, that's why.

Capt Ron

Texans are down 10-0 early in the 2nd quarter. They have -9 yards passing and 14 yards rushing with 4:42 in time of possession to Indy's 10:23.

This reminds me of those military manuals where it says: "This page intentionally left blank."

Weston

As a heads up, when you see a run for more than four yards, it's because someone actually blocked a LB.

Mike

Let's throw in the "False Start in your own stadium" to the list of “Are You KITTENING Kidding ME??!” moments for the season...

Vega

Right now, I have the same feeling that I used to get when the Astros were in the midst of those 100+ loss season. As soon as the other team scored, it was like, "Game Over" man.

UT

We got a lemon. We got a lemon and Bill O'Brien set the receipt on fire.

BFD

We're in a passing situation, and JAY KITTENING PROSCH is on the field.

Mike

Can we trade Osweiler to Chicago for Brian Hoyer and a right tackle to be named later?

Weston

I'm in the camp that Brock Osweiler didn't regress, but that he was never any good to begin with.

BRC

This is going to sound weird, but I'm actually wanting us to run a screen.

Like, please.

It would mean positive yardage.

Capt Ron

Trade Osweiler to the Rockets for a snow cone machine.

BRC

So we pin the Colts back and in the space of 3 plays they're already way into our territory, great.

UT

I understand that the Texans play like hot buttered kitten on prime time television. I mean I get that, and take it as granted.

But why? There has to be a reason why nine out of ten times, the Houston Texans, irrespective of coaching staff, roster, and scheme, play like garbage. How does this happen? If anybody has any legitimate explanation for why this happens, I am all ears.

BFD

I haven't seen McKinney out there. Ron? See anything on the bench?

BRC

Why is Charles James covering TY Hilton?

Vega

It's best not to ask those types of questions, BRC.

Capt Ron (to BFD):

I see #55 on the sidelines ready to go.

Mike

Well, if the team was upset about the negativity from the fan base before this game, they're REALLY gonna be torqued after...

Weston (to UT):

I don't understand that and special teams play. Like eventually everything would come together once over all this time we have been alive.

BRC

Media saying McKinney out of the game for missed tackle.

We wouldn't have an offense left if they got pulled for mistakes at this rate.

I sure can't wait to see more Charles James and Robert Nelson covering T.Y. Hilton.

Capt Ron

I'm frankly surprised NBC hasn't sent someone down to the Texans' sideline to pull a Tanya Harding on Brock. There's no way his performance is helping to keep whatever audience actually tuned in tonight.

BFD (to BRC)

AYFKM? The guy who's been our best defensive player this season?

UT

I find this really hard to believe. The being benched for missing a tackle part, not best player. I'll easily buy that part.

Vega

Is that for real, or a joke? Has to be a joke.

UT

Oh wow, back to back completions. We're cooking with manure now!

BRC (about McKinney being benched):

That's what Aaron Wilson reported, nothing to back it up though.

Vega

I can guarantee a Texans touchdown here. Just enough to keep it close at halftime and prevent me from going to sleep.

BRC

C.J. has been actually pretty solid this year.

UT

Holy kitten, you're right, that's what Wilson said. Although I think he's speculating about the missed tackle being the cause.

Weston

Holy kitten, Osweiler actually stood tall in the pocket....and then overthrew Tyler Ervin.

BRC

That was so nearly really good.

He didn't kitten himself in the pocket for once.

UT

How is that not DPI??

BFD

I think if it was more catchable, it would've been DPI. Alas...

Weston

Kitten, I love that Wade Smith has “Pro Bowl guard” in his Twitter bio.

Capt Ron

Refs have 3 no-calls in this game so far: hitting the punter and two DPI.

Kitten the NFL and their "preferred team" approach to engineering the outcomes they want.

Weston

Ron, this team sucks. It's not the refs.

MDC

It's honestly like Kittenweiler has no sense of how many yards he needs on a given play.

Either that, or he thinks CJF is going to shake a defender and get an extra 5 yards.

Neither answer fills me with confidence.

Capt Ron

If the team goes 3-13, can we get rid of O'Brien, Rick Smith and Brock in a viking funeral event?

BRC

He didn't see anything down field, so he went with the option that maybe 2% of the time would get a first down, rather than one that has 0% by just throwing out of bounds.

(To Ron): I thought there was running into the punter, alas Lechler just went down for a bit of dramatic effect.

Weston

There was no pressure, though. Like at all. He has plenty of time. Most good quarterbacks will hang in there or roll out to create throwing angles and let their receivers break away.

Vega

Well, we already scored more than last time we had a prime time game. That's good, right?

UT (To Capt Ron):

Rick Smith is the godfather of Cal McNair's kid. He's going nowhere.

Side note, when Cal McNair takes over the Texans, what kind of owner do y'all think he's going to be?

Capt Ron (to UT):

Hopefully the kind of owner who takes this cursed kitten franchise on a permanent relocation to Antarctica so that Houston can re-roll.

BFD

This team has far too much talent to be this kitteny.

On Luck's scramble, he looked like the fastest guy on the field.

(On Robert Nelson’s interception of Andrew Luck):

HDH

Taking a hot, wet kitten at the end of the first half is a Texans tradition that Robert Nelson isn't familiar with.

BFD

Wow, Robert Nelson with a helluva pick. Dang. Thank you, Luck, that was a major brain fart.

UT

BFD, this is why I keep thinking this is like 2013. This team has talent, but for whatever reason, whether it's Osweiler playing like crap or injuries or whatnot, they can't do kitten on the field. It's beyond frustrating and at this rate it's going to end up costing BOB his job at minimum.

BFD

Please, for the love of Durga, just run out the clock. Nothing good is going to come from Brock throwing from the end zone.

BRC

So I kitten on the fact we're going to have Nelson covering Hilton, then he comes up with a pick.

Vega

You're wrong, UT. The defense and the division will allow the team to roll to a 7-9 record, they'll blame it on injuries, and we'll get to do it all over again next year.

Weston

This is nothing like 2013. That team had awful luck and Schaub fell off the cliff. This year is a a gilded dog kitten.

Halftime Thoughts (13-3 Colts):

UT (To Vega):

The defense and the division have us down 10 points to the kitten awful Colts at halftime. I'm not as confident about this team as I was a few weeks ago.

Capt Ron

Halftime: I'd rather have both of my testicles sawed off with a rusty toenail clipper than see one more kitten play with Brock in at QB.

BFD

We don't go for it on 4th deep in their territory, but we're trying to make something happen from our end zone with 30 seconds remaining? BOB doesn't understand the first thing about risk, and it's flat out embarrassing.

But, hey, let's not hurt anybody's fee fees by being negative, k?

Vega

Does anyone else think it's weird that this Camry commercial is all excited about turn-by-turn navigation? It's like they had a pre-screened commercial from 2005, and said, "Let's just add auto-read texts to it."

BRC

I've tried and tried to stay positive, but I think Brock may have finally broken my spirit.

Vega

I applaud your resiliency, BRC. But you'll be better off to just give in now.

Mike

I'm still hanging to the (possible) illusion that a pro caliber offensive line would fix nearly everything with the offense, but I also started drinking after the umpteenth 3 and out of the first half...

UT

I've just checked the Texans’ prime time results. In the history of this team, of the 24 prime time games the Texans have participated in, they've won exactly seven of them, and at this rate it'll be 7 out of 25. That's good for a 29% success rate.

How? How are they this inept in prime time?

Weston

Osweiler isn't bad because of the OL. They have pass blocked well.

It takes time, BRC. Eventually your heart will be scab covered like ours.

UT

My wife is making steak and baked potatoes for dinner and this game might make me lose my appetite.

BRC

I stayed positive through all of Hoyer and Mallet, up until about 23-0 in the Chiefs game.

Third Quarter:

UT

Tafoya: How do you breathe life into this offense?

O'Brien: I have no idea.

This is a man who is out of ideas.

BFD

Tafoya: "How do you breathe life into this offense?"

BOB: "I have no idea."

Me: "Delete your account, BOB."

UT

BRB Hive Mind, y’all.

BFD

Jinx?

BRC

Stop trying to make me positive again, defense.

UT

Would it be a bad idea to open [the fourth quarter] game thread by saying "Honestly, I have no idea why you're still here."?

Vega

You think teams will notice if we never throw again?

BFD

What's weird, and I mean really weird, is that Alfred Blue looks like an NFL quality HB this year.

UT (To Vega):

I'd be kind of grateful if they didn't. I mean, my fantasy teams would die a slow death, but it might be more effective.

Capt Ron

Not throwing the ball again is a great idea from a guy who is out of ideas.

MDC

Only because we'll improve and they'll figure that's why.

BRC

Maybe if we advertise the fact we paid Brock $36m enough they'll think we can't possibly never throw it.

Weston

I really like the run game. It makes this nonsense go by faster.

Mike

When is the trade deadline? Surely someone can be foolish enough to give us a box of thin mints for Brock...

BRC

A completion and Ervin successful in the same play, wow.

BFD

Robert Mathis covering D-Hop??? LOL!

UT

Nothing about this drive makes sense, BRC.

Vega

Wait, was Robert Mathis really covering Hopkins? Like, for realz?

UT

If y'all are imagining it, then so was I, because he totally was.

BRC

Have we had a first and goal this year?

It sure doesn't feel like it.

Mike

You can see the look in Osweiler's eyes. He's utterly unconfident of his ability here. This shotgun, empty back field nonsense isn't going to help that. Ever.

Maybe we need to trade Godsey instead...

UT

First and goal at the one. We're not getting in the end zone, are we?

Weston

Could this be the drive the Texans get a rushing TD?

That was an awful throw by Brock to Hopkins.

BFD

Context: the Colts have one of the worst defenses I've ever seen, and we still have only 3 points.

Mike

BFD, you're killing me with reality here...

BRC

Give it to Miller please.

On Miller’s first rushing touchdown as a Texan (Score Colts 13 - Texans 9):

Vega

Kitten it. I was hoping for a Prosch TD just to see BFD's head explode.

Capt Ron

Novak missed the PAT? Of course.

Weston

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BFD

And Novak misses the XP.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

/breathes

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHA! HAHAHHAAHHAHAAHHAAHAHAHHAHA!!!!

BRC

Oh my kitten.

A rushing touchdown and XSF makes the crucial block (may or may not have been crucial, but it looked good)?

BFD

XSF with a key block. May Durga help us all. I can't stop laughing.

BRC

But of course a missed XP will mean nothing when we score three more touchdowns, right?

UT

Can someone do a well being check on BFD? Unless he's a Batman villain that much laughing is not healthy.

Capt Ron

All across Cleveland, there are Browns' players rubbing their heads and wondering how the hell the Texans have 3 wins this season.

Weston

XSF is better than ya'll think he is. My problem with him is he hasn't gotten better at anything except for strength.

Vega

Clowney's explosiveness is a kittening thing to watch.

BRC

Watching Clowney chase down ball carriers is scary.

Weston

Poor Andre Hal trying to tackle. It's so cute.

Mike

I feel like I say this every week: What happened to Johnathan Joseph? Seems like he's missed more tackles this year than he had in his entire Texans career leading up to it.

BFD

I've really enjoyed watching RAC's scheme tonight. We have major talent issues at several positions, but we are seriously balling and scheming on D. Beautiful.

Weston

That was Hal. Joseph isn't in the game.

I agree, BFD. He's done some fun things tonight.

BFD

If I'm the Colts, I go for it here. No doubt. The Texans have to score a TD one way or the other. Go for it, succeed, and it becomes a two score game.

Also, too, that D, yo.

Mike

Man I love Whitney Mercilus! Him and Clowney are the silver linings, for sure.

Weston

UT, Luck has a reverse mohawk going. I can't wait to buy a 24 of Natty with yours and [Luke]'s money.

THAT WAS THE SAME INT HE THREW AGAINST KC.

(Editor’s note: Saturday on Twitter, Weston, Luke, and I made a $5 bet on who would go bald/shave their head due to impending baldness first: Andrew Luck or Blake Bortles. Weston took Luck; Luke and I took Bortles. Also, Weston is clearly imagining things.)

Mike

So, yeah... nice pick, Brock Schaub...

UT

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Brock Bottom Pick Of The Week. Kitten.

BFD

RAC put together a killer game plan, and BOB took a kitten all over it.

Vega

I can't see you guys, but I'm pretty sure most of you are just looking at your TVs and nodding solemnly right now.

Mike

When ya know the team can't pass well, WHY have an empty backfield so the defense knows you have no choice but to pass the ball? It's not like Osweiler is a running threat, unless he's running from other baby giraffes...

Vega

Kitten it, Brock!! You killed Optimist BRC!! You kitten!!!!!

Mike

At least we get the thrill of J.J. Watt doing commercials for HEB...cause we're definitely going to need to eat our stress after this one...

BRC

Like his decision was good? So it wasn't really stupid? Right?

Kitten this whole situation.

Weston

That pick was all because of ball placement.

I would say this game was over, but the Colts’ defense is still so bad that HOU isn't entirely out of it.

Mike

Early prediction for next week: Denver 47, Houston 3

If they can't move the ball against the worst defense in the league, Denver is going to make Brock wish he was still playing with his iPad on their bench in the firm grip of Uncle Elway's comforting embrace.

Fourth Quarter:

Vega

So, Miller's playing great. The defense is playing great. Special teams have only cost us one point so far.

And we're going to lose.

Capt Ron

The air conditioning and Wi-Fi are the best thing going for Houston at NRG Stadium. #MeaninglessSilverLinings

(Around this time, the Colts scored a touchdown, but notice that none of us can bring ourselves to talk about the game at this point. Colts up 20-9).

BRC

Lamar Miller is dragging this offense forward kicking and screaming.

Mike

Stop trying to gain 40 yards on every pass. Throw some quick slants! Some short outs. Anything that's easy to gain ground. Or better yet, RUN THE BALL...

Weston

I'm going to drink six more beers and RT every PDS tweet that Alfred Blue needs to get carries over Lamar Miller.

BFD

Alfred Blue behind Jay Prosch...AT THIS POINT IN THE GAME!!! I don't have the words. I don't. This is pure incompetence.

Vega

Quick out to CJF on 3rd and 21. Kitten this. I'm going to bed.

UT

And the NLCS is over so I can't even switch to that. KITTEN THIS GAME!

Mike

I'll be stunned if SOMEONE doesn't get fired tomorrow...

UT

This is the Houston Texans. The wheels have to come off and the engine has to be on fire before anything drastic like firings happens.

Weston

I don't see how firing anyone would change anything.

Mike

Getting rid of whoever it is who's in charge of this disaster of an offense could open the door for someone who knows how to make it work take the job...

UT

Like whom? If you fire O'Brien, do you really want Godsey as head coach? If you fire Godsey, who among the position coaches inspires hope that he might fix it? If you fire Rick Smith, who in the front office do you think would be an improvement?

Firings in the middle of the season feel good but they're not very useful.

Weston

Ugh. Bill O'Brien then?

Osweiler sucks because Osweiler sucks. I don't see how coaching can change that at this point of the season.

Capt Ron

This team has at least five times the talent that Dom Capers worked with back in the early years, and the performance is about the same if not worse.

UT

For this season, can we replace "The Roller Coaster That Is Texans Fandom" with "Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here?"

BRC

Firing BOB likely means Crennel, and no one wants that.

Weston (To UT):

"Said a sign I read that was hanging above her bed"

There's always next year, UT. There's always next year.

UT

I laughed.

I felt bad afterward but I laughed.

Mike

I don't think getting rid of BOB is the answer. Not sure keeping Godsey is either. Man, Marc Trestman would do a better job.

UT

We kittening get it, Al, the Broncos paid less for a less kitteny quarterback.

We really, really get it.

Mike

Ouch. That "Cost of a QB" graphic was painful... Elway looks like Vince Lombardi now...

kdentify

Woke up from my nap to see the Texans’ offense remains a steaming POS. I feel sorry for the people who paid their hard-earned money to watch this trash live.

UT

I feel bad for Capt Ron, too.

Here's a question: Is Brock Osweiler legitimately the worst quarterback the Texans have ever had? By quarterback, I mean of any QB who has had at least one start, Alex Brink and Drew Henson don't count.

(On Lamar Miller’s second touchdown, putting the score at 20-16 Colts):

Weston

HOLY KITTEN LAMAR MILLER.

LET'S SEE JAY PROSCH DO THAT.

UT

Lamar Miller is the entirety of the Houston Texans' offense.

BRC

This Miller fella is alright.

Mike

Wow... a short pass to Lamar Miller?

Capt Ron

I'd like to see Toro go out and kick Novak in the nuts, and then have the offense go for 2...direct snap to Miller....either of them.

kdentify

No, because we've had David Carr, Brian Hoyer, Ryan Mallett and Ryan Fitzpatrick. He's right there alongside them, but he hasn't surpassed them yet. YET.

UT

Frank Gore, a 33 year old running back, is the first Colts running back to get 100+ yards rushing in more than three years.

Your Houston Texans defense, ladies and gentlemen.

Weston

2013 Schaub was the worst QB HOU has ever had.

Mike

And the last time the Colts hit the century mark was against... the Texans... nice bookend...

UT

Stop giving me hope, Texans. This isn't funny.

BRC

Watch us get into the red zone and Brock throws a pick. Watch it happen.

Chris

If Novak blows the game-tying XP that will be my fault. But my Shayne Graham skin suit is getting pretty rank...

kdentify

I need Lamar Miller on my fantasy team.

Weston

Naw, he's going to complete a pass for four yards on 4th and 8.

On the Texans’ game-tying touchdown (score tied at 23):

UT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

POLISH HAT!!!!!

KITTEN I HATE THIS GAME!!!

Kdentify

Kitten has frozen over. OB had a good series of playcalling.

BRC

OH MY KITTEN C.J. FIEDOROWICZ IS A LEGEND.

That may be the best throw he'll throw all year.

Please let that be the catalyst to get Brock started.

Weston

It was a throw every NFL QB should make. I loved how Mike Adams went for the pick from that far away, realized he couldn't get there in time, and missed the tackle.

My guess is T.Y. Hilton makes a huge catch and INDY wins.

UT

And J-Jo falls down in the process.

BRC

But Matt, Brock hasn't been an NFL QB so far.

kdentify

I need you to believe. I have to go to work tomorrow, in Dallas, when the Cowboys went into Lambeau and defeated Aaron Rodgers. I need the strength to not kick my colleagues in the teeth. We need to win this.

UT

Not Clowney. Don't let Clowney be hurt. Take me instead.

Overtime:

BRC

Overtime? Not what I needed on a late night game, but I'll take it.

Kdentify

I live in DFW, and I'm surrounded by the monsters. The one person I willingly discuss football with is the Giants fan at work, because we share a mutual loathing of Cowboys fans.

I think every Texans fan should praise RAC to the rafters, because his defense has bailed out our POS offense more times than I care to remember.

UT

They sacked Luck! They sacked Luck! McKinney, you glorious kitten!

Weston

RAC has used Clowney and McKinney a lot on delayed blitz and let them play running back from the LB position.

Mike

Yes, great praise for RAC - not so much for Izzo yet.

UT

And another injured Texan.

STOP BREAKING OUR KITTENING TOYS, COLTS!

(On Jaelen Strong’s long catch to put the Texans in field goal range):

UT

JAELEN STRONG DID A THING!

HOLY KITTEN, DID JAELEN STRONG EVER DO A THING!

Mike

Strong picked a great time to show up! WOO!

BRC

STRONG DID A THING.

LIKE A GOOD THING THIS TIME.

(On the game0winning field goal) (Texans win 26-23):

Mike

Wow... they found a way to win. Maybe there is hope...

kdentify

OMG. We won. After dark. On national television. And Brock Osweiler managed to have moments where he didn't look like a steaming POS.

BRC

I LOVE FOOTBALL AGAIN.

UT

LIFE IS WORTH LIVING AGAIN!!!!

Post Game Thoughts:

Weston

Osweiler is only redeemable when he's throwing downfield.

BRC

Please let this be the start of some form of resurgence on offense.

Brock drove the offense down the field three times there and looked good, admittedly against the Colts, but that is better than nothing.

Weston

Brock Osweiler still sucks.

BRC

Hey, he may suck, but he didn't suck when it counted, which is still bad but also good.

Capt Ron

What a finish. I have no idea what to say about this team. Why can't they play like that all game?!!

It will be midnight by the time I get out of the stadium, but it was worth it.

Hey, let’s give out some game balls!

Offense - Obviously we’re going with Lamar Miller here. 178 total yards and two touchdowns on the day, and effectively the driving force of the Texans offense.

Defense - Benardrick McKinney. Without him playing and getting timely sacks on overly hairy quarterbacks, the Texans don’t get a chance to force overtime.

Make your thoughts known in the comments section.