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Three and Out: Useless Predictions for Texans-Jaguars

Sunday the Houston Texans will hope to accomplish the incredibly accomplishable - to defeat the Jacksonville Jaguars despite the dark specter of playing on the road.

NFL: Houston Texans at Jacksonville Jaguars
Bortles turnover - ACTIVATE!
Reinhold Matay-USA TODAY Sports

The Houston Texans are back at it Sunday with an AFC South match-up in Jacksonville to take on the hapless, aimless, putrid Jaguars. Does that ensure victory? Not on the road it doesn’t. LET’S SEE WHAT THE POLLS ARE SAYING, SHALL WE? ALL HAIL THE POLLS!!!!

Tim: Texans 24, Jaguars 14.

A double--digit Texans victory? On the road? No, I haven't been drinking. Much.

I believe there's something to the Texans' success in the second half of the season under Bill O'Brien, and I expect that trend to continue on Sunday against the Jaguars. I expected the Jaguars to be considerably better than what they've been, but I don't see them turning things around against a relatively fresh Texans squad that had extra time to game-plan for them. Blake Bortles is going to throw at least two interceptions, and Brock Osweiler will have his first turnover-free game. 6-3, here we come.

Chris HDH: Texans 27, Jaguars 10.

I think the Texans will put it all together Sunday. Will it last beyond this game? Welp. We’ll just have to see. But “a lot of people are saying” the Texans will get their first road win of the season. That’s what the polls are showing, anyway.

Matt Weston: Texans 23, Jaguars 20.

The Texans are a boring version of the Colts and Lions. The games are going to be close because the defense can get the stops and the worst offense in the NFL can barely score 20 points. This is going to be another one possession slog. The Jags can win if the run game is as good as it was against the Chiefs last week and they don't have to rely on Bortles to consistently move the offense.

Also, I think Andre Hal has two picks.

Luke Beggs: Houston 24, Jaguars 13.

The cardinal rule of the AFC South is in full effect here. This is an AFC South team so therefore victory is assured (in my mind, that's how it works). I think some interesting sub-narratives to watch for during this game will be:

1) Can Brock Osweiler finally go a game without a turnover?

2) How will Benardrick McKinney and Brian Cushing handle T.J. Yeldon and Chris Ivory in the passing game?

3) What is love?

4) Free Myles Jack!

5) Will C.J. Fiedorowicz have more targets than Will Fuller?

6) Will the fact that C..J Fiedorowicz will have more targets than Will Fuller cause me to have a stroke? (Answer: Yes.)

7) Will watching Blake Bortles overthrow Allen Robinson all day cause me to shed tears? (Answer: Yes.)

8) Will I spend a chunk of the day swooning over Marquise Lee?

Regardless, I don't think this Jags offense, for all of the weapons it has, can score enough against Houston’s defense.

kdentify: Texans 21, Jaguars 13.

I expect us to win this game simply because of Gus Bradley. I like Bradley. I like what he's done for the Texans since he got the job. That's a horrible thing for Jags' fans, but this is a division game and I have no pity. I expect CJ-F350 to continue to make his mark. I expect Brock Osweiler to not look like hot sh.t until the 4th quarter. I expect Blake Bortles to suffer against our defense.

UprootedTexan: Texans 17, Jaguars 14.

I know that the Jags are pretty much circling the drain at this point, but it's still hard to feel comfortable predicting a Texans win by any significant margin. But Bortles is awful, Gus Bradley has been overrated as a coach since jump street, and the Texans have enough of a functioning offense to get past the Hairballs.

Maybe the Texans come fighting back and surprise us in the second half of the season, but I want some evidence first.

Capt. Ron: Texans 16, Jaguars 9.

Red zone stalls and lots of kicking appear to be on the horizon for this game as both teams make three field goals each. Houston's defense finds the only touchdown in the game after a key turnover.

Mike Bullock: Texans 17, Jaguars 10.

Even after a bye week to prepare, I'm still not convinced either offense has any chance to score more than a handful of points. I’m expecting this to be another uninspired AFC South game with the Texans’ defense being the only thing to shine. At this point, just having a game without a Brockerception would be nice...

BFmf’nD: Jaguars 17, Texans 9.

The Glitter Kitties defense has moved from 26th by DVOA in 2015 to 15th in 2016. While they've given up a lot of points, a big reason for that is Blake Bortles, who has regressed horribly in 2016.

Each team will be handed poor turnovers by the other, but the Glitter Kitties are able to convert one into a pick-six, and the all field goal offense will be in effect for the Texans.

TexansTakeaway: Texans 20, Jaguars 13.

The Jags are awful right now. Like really, really bad. Bortles is emulating Osweiler and making a great wide receiver (Allen Robinson) look subpar at best. Houston is fresh off a bye and still has one of the best pass defenses in the league. They should be able to force some mistakes out of Bortles & Company. Osweiler and Lamar Miller each nab a touchdown as the Texans take the Jags on the road.

There you have it. Optimism abounds, other than eternally grumpy BFD. IT SURE LOOKS LIKE THE TEXANS ARE A LOCK TO WIN! WE’LL SEE HOW ACCURATE THE POLLS TURN OUT TO BE SUNDAY!

Feel free to use the comments section below to give us your thoughts on Sunday’s game.