I had originally planned on turning this post-game recap into a reworking on the Twelve Days of Christmas based on tonight’s game, but it’s Christmas Day where I am and I haven’t slept yet, so I’m going to unfortunately have to keep this brief.
The less I say about that first half, the better. There were three points scored total (by the Bengals) on a field goal to end the half. The rest of that half’s possesions? Well.........
Truly the NFL has blessed us with the gift of football. pic.twitter.com/2vhKY5XqwM— Deadspin (@Deadspin) December 25, 2016
While the first half was abhorrent, the second half finally lead to some semblance of football. The Texans began the half driving down the field, thanks to multiple defensive penalties by the Bengals. The Texans’ drive would stall in the red zone, but they would tie the game up with a Nick Novak field goal. Their next drive would follow the same pattern, with the Bengals’ defense again giving up defensive penalties to allow the Texans to get into field goal range. The Bengals’ offense, which had been held in check all of the night, sparked into life when Brandon LaFell took a quick slant 86 yards for the touchdown. The Texans responded with efficiency, connecting with passes to DeAndre Hopkins and Will Fuller to set up a 24 yard scamper from Alfred Blue into the end zone to put the Texans ahead.
With a few minutes left in the 4th quarter, the Bengals began to drive. Behind Rex Burkehead’s runs and some simple passes, the Bengals moved the ball into field goal range and so with five seconds left the game came down to a 43 yard field goal attempt by Randy Bullock. The kick went up and it went wide right as time expired.
And lo it was written. The Texans would be crowned the AFC South Champions once more. Christmas comes early and the Texans are heading to the playoffs with one game remaining in the season. Happy Christmas everyone. Let your Christmas/Playoff cheer out in the comments below.