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Battle Red Balls - Texans v. Colts

Game balls given out before the Texans even play the Colts. What a country!

San Diego Chargers v Houston Texans Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images

Welcome back to the most glorious time of the week, when we give out the age old, cherished for eons award of Battle Red Balls.

This week, our beloved Houston Texans are traveling to the land of Baby Horses. Last time the Texans were in Indianapolis, they left with a thrill of victory and would love nothing more than to do it again.

Since that’s what we should all expect, then let’s get right to giving out the game balls commemorating the impending victory.

TIM:

Offense: Jaelen Strong. He's back at practice. With him comes a black heart and steadfast resolve to destroy the Colts. Jaelen Strong shall take his vengeance upon Indianapolis, as he does each time their paths cross.

Defense: Jadeveon Clowney. He missed the Packers last week, which means he's behind on his season quota for difference-making plays. I'm calling a sack of Andrew Luck and two more TFLs.

DIEHARD CHRIS:

Offense: ah, the weekly struggle to pick a player on offense. I'll go with Lamar Miller. I just feel like he's on the verge of a big game and what better awful defense than the Colts? I can even see Alfred Blue doing some real damage. What's that? The Colts are going to load the box until Brock proves he can hurt them in the passing game? Dammit.

Defense: Whitney Mercilus. I think he is going to start to wear people down in the last quarter of the year. I look for him to have at least two multi-sack games in the last four, starting Sunday in Indy.

LUKE:

Offense: C.J. Fiedorowicz. I can already see the offensive series when all three of Brock's throws are targeted at him and all three fail to get ten yards. It's gonna be swell.

Defense: A.J. Bouye. T.Y. Hilton is a pest but one that will require shepherding away from the deep zones he loves to work, where he has burned the Texans in the past. Look for Bouye to add another strong game to the laundry list of strong games he's had this season.

CAPT. RON:

Offense: C.J. Fiedorowicz seems to be the rented mule for this team to get down field. That is, of course, because the rented mule of Lamar Miller has been recklessly hammered into walls of granite all season with inside runs that have even novice fans scratching their head regarding play design and play calling.

Defense: I have to go with Whitney Mercilus here. He's had a solid season, and nothing would be better than to see him notch two sacks on Andrew Luck.

MIKE:

Offense: Jonathan Grimes. When no one is looking, Grimes breaks off a hundred yard game.

Defense: Clowney & Mercilus share one this week. The two start meeting at the QB like it's a calendar event, and Luck pays the price.