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2016 Houston Texans Schedule Predictions, Before The 2016 NFL Draft: Because Waiting Is For The Wise

The NFL released the schedule for all 32 of its teams yesterday, which means today we must make foolish predictions about the Texans' 2016 record that will only serve to show how stupidly optimistic we were back in April.

Is that the Funky Chicken?  Or is the Charleston?  What dances are the kids doing these days?
Is that the Funky Chicken? Or is the Charleston? What dances are the kids doing these days?
Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

You may have heard something about the NFL schedule release yesterday. Now that we know which teams your Houston Texans will be playing and in what specific order they'll be playing them during the 2016 season, it's time to partake in the time-honored tradition of making predictions about how the Texans will fare.

While common sense would dictate that it's far too early to engage in such an exercise, that we really should wait to see which players are added to the team via the 2016 NFL Draft, or that various injuries or unforeseen circumstances between now and September are sure to affect the outlook for many NFL teams, you know what we always say around here: "Stop with all that boring rational talk and just finish this post already."

With that coda in mind, I give you one foolish fan's current, sure-to-be-wrong predictions for the Texans' 2016 regular season.

Week One: Bears--Win.
Week Two: Chiefs--Loss.
Week Three: @ Patriots (Thursday Night Football)--Loss.
Week Four: Titans--Win.
Week Five: @ Vikings--Win.
Week Six: Colts (Sunday Night Football)--Win.
Week Seven: @ Broncos (Monday Night Football)--Loss.
Week Eight: Lions--Win.

Week Nine:

Week Ten: @ Jaguars--Win.
Week Eleven: @ Raiders (Monday Night Football in Mexico City)-- Loss.
Week Twelve: Chargers--Win.
Week Thirteen: @ Packers--Loss.
Week Fourteen: @ Colts--Loss.
Week Fifteen: Jaguars--Win.
Week Sixteen: Bengals (Christmas Eve; 7:25 p.m. kickoff)--Win.
Week Seventeen: @ Titans--Win.

That would put Bill O'Brien's crew at 10-6 on the 2016 regular season. How do you see the schedule shaking out? Leave your predictions and share your thoughts on how the team will navigate the schedule in the Comments below.