Saturday Night's Alright For Commenting: April 23, 2016

The entire intro to my Mock Draft I've outsourced to Big Matt (I've also stolen some of his analysis because lazy):

Mock drafts are silly and pointless. Nobody reads the whole thing. I'm sure you didn't read this one either. The reader clicks, scrolls down to their favorite team's pick and thinks to themselves, "I'd be okay with that" or "This writer is an idiot", and then scrolls further down to the comments.

1.) Los Angeles Rams: Jared Goff (QB--Cal)

The whatever-the-hell-city Rams have taken a lot of guff for trading up to get Goff.  Do not count me among the naysayers, however.  The Rams currently sport a Top 10 defense, and now they've got a QB who won't be completely embarrassing.  A couple days before the trade was made, on BRR I mentioned it looked like the Rams were punting 2016 so they could take a local QB hero in the 2017 draft.  The trade moved up a year early, and I don't see how they pass on Goff.

To me, Goff is the clear #1 pick in this draft.  He's got everything you look for in a franchise QB, something QBASE agrees with.  Sure, guessing what a QB is going to do with his career is like betting on Chicken S--t Bingo, but I think Goff offers both the highest ceiling and highest floor among QB prospects this year.  While they over-paid, the Rams were in a position where they could afford to, and Goff is going to help this team tremendously.

2.) Philadelphia Eagles: Carson Wentz (QB--North Dakota State)

Wentz looks the most like a QB in this year's class.  His hand size, clearly the most important factor in evaluating a QB, is even big enough!  Count me among those who thinks Wentz will need a year on the bench.  It's a big jump from NDSU to the big leagues, and I don't know if Wentz brings enough experience to the table to transition quickly...or well.

3.) San Diego Chargers: DeForest Buckner (DE--Oregon)

I can't decide between Laremy Tunsil and Buckner as both will clearly be in play with this pick.  For now, I'm sticking with Buckner.

4.) Dallas Cowboys: Joey Bosa (DE--Ohio State)

When you're the Dallas Cokeboys, depth is of utmost importance.  After all, it's just a matter of time before a Cokeboy is arrested, suspended, caught dealing drugs at the local elementary school, whatever.  In this case, both Demarcus Lawrence and Randy Gregory are suspended four games to start the season.  And, by golly, somebody has to trot out there at DE.

5.) Jacksonville Jaguars: Jalen Ramsey (CB--Florida State)

When the Cokeboys take Bosa, Ramsey slides to the Jaguars.  With so many doubts about Myles Jack's health, the Jaguars are pleased with this turn of events.

6.) Baltimore Ravens: Laremy Tunsil (OT--Ole Miss)

As Big Matt said, the Ravens take Tunsil and kick Eugene Monroe to RT, upgrading two positions in the process.  It's a win/win move for Ozzie Newsome.

7.) San Francisco 49ers: Corey Coleman (WR--Baylor)

Who do you draft for the team that needs at least one of everything?  Add on to that the fact that Chip Kelly and Trent Baalke might be the two worst personnel men in the NFL, and I can see them completely screwing this pick up.  Coleman's not a bad player, not in the least, but WR is the thing they need to address the least with a roster bereft of talent.  So, they take a WR.

8.) Cleveland Browns: William Jackson III (CB--Houston)

If the Browns really are going all analytics, I see them taking the bigger, faster Jackson over Vernon Hargreaves.  This will almost undoubtedly be a CB, though.

9.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Ronnie Stanley (OT--Notre Dame)

Gosder Cherilus is a bad football player.

10.) New York Giants: Leonard Floyd (Edge--Georgia)

Ezekiel Elliott also an option here.

11.) Chicago Bears: Sheldon Rankins (DT--Louisville)

John Fox wants to win in the trenches because he's a real man who coaches real football teams.

12.) New Orleans Saints: Jaraan Reed (DT--Alabama)

The Saints had one of the worst defenses of all time last season. They need defensive players no matter who or what it is.

13.) Miami Dolphins: Ezekiel Elliot (RB--Ohio State)

Lamar who? Miami drafts the best running back in this class that they won't give more than 200 carries to.  Ryan Tannehill taking sacks for a ten yard loss is the staple of this offense.

14.) Oakland Raiders: Myles Jack (OLB--UCLA)

I realize there's a bit of a disconnect on fit with this pick, but this seems like a Raiders kind of option to me.  Plus, the team needs serious help at ILB, and Jack can play all three downs.

15.) Tennessee Titans: Vernon Hargreaves (CB--Florida)

The current BE-SF CBs are LOL.

16.) Detroit Lions: Laquon Treadwell (WR--Ole Miss)

Detroit replaced Calvin Johnson with Marvin Jones. That isn't good enough, and Jones is too similar to Golden Tate III anyways. Treadwell offers something different and can grow into a number one receiver, something that Tate and Jones aren't.

17.) Atlanta Falcons: Darron Lee (OLB--Ohio State)

Atlanta's offense is great despite the midseason slump, and it will be better with Mohamud Sanu playing on the other side of Julio Jones instead of the ghost of Roddy White. Like last year, they still need versatile pass rushing talent who can play multiple positions in a defense that uses multiple fronts.

18.) Indianapolis Colts: Jack Conklin (OT--Michigan State)

This pick doesn't matter if Andrew Luck doesn't learn how to slide. Even Frankemstein isn't immortal. It should help the run game at least!

19.) Buffalo Bills: Kevin Dodd (DE--Clemson)

As much as I want to see another deep threat for Tyrod Taylor to drop bombs into a bucket to, the Bills need a pass rusher for Rex Ryan to ruin. I'll hate that man forever for imposing his scheme and destroying that amazing defensive line. This guy should help that out somewhat. Yet nothing can make up for how Ryan bastardized a top five defense that would have made the Bills a Super Bowl contender if it was combined with their offense from last year.

20.) New York Jets: Shaq Lawson (OLB--Clemson)

I have doubts about Lawson's ability to get to the QB, which slots him as a perfect Jets legacy pick.

21.) Washington Redskins: Josh Doctson (WR--TCU)

I despise the team's WR talent, and Doctson is the next WR worth taking.

22.) Houston Texans: Chris Jones (DE/NT--Miss. St.)

With all the decent WRs now off the board, we are forced to address defensive line.  Somebody (TNO?) mentioned that we played almost exclusively 1-4-6 in sub packages after the bye.  He's right, but we were forced into that lineup.

23.) Minnesota Vikings: Michael Thomas (WR--Ohowihateohiostate)

Teddy Bridgewater, the provably worst QB in the history of the NFL (probably because of his small hands), gets a new toy to throw to.

24.) Cincinnati Bengals: Reggie Ragland (LB--Alabama)

Vontaze Burfict is suspended for the beginning of the season. Ragland should be able to fill the void and take A.J. Hawk and Rey Maualuga off the field when he gets back, which is a very good thing.

25.) Pittsburgh Steelers: Eli Apple (CB--Ohowihateohiostate)

The best cornerback left will help a team that had trouble covering the opponent's top two receivers.

26.) Seattle Seahawks: Taylor Decker (OT--Ohio State)

The Seahawks seem content to let Russell Wilson die in the backfield, so I doubt they actually pick a tackle, but there ya go.

27.) Green Bay Packers: Andrew Billings (DT--Baylor)

They lost B.J. Raji to retirement. Billings will be able to hold down double teams and penetrate the gap when he's asked to.

28.) Kansas City Chiefs: Cody Whitehair (G--Kansas State)

The best guard in this class can replace Jeff Allen. Also, he's the hometown kid from Kansas State. Football teams do take this in account when they draft players.

29.) Arizona Cardinals: Paxton Lynch (QB--Memphis)

Carson Palmer is getting old.  He looked frail and miserable in the playoffs last year. It's better to take a young quarterback sooner rather than later. Lynch can learn for a bit and then unleash his rocket/cannon/laser arm and chunk it down field for Bruce Arians.

This really just seems like a perfect pick for the Cardinals, especially when considering Arians, his strategy, and the ability for Lynch to sit for a couple years.

30.) Carolina Panthers: Mackenzie Alexander (CB--Clemson)

Maybe a bit of a stretch for Alexander here, but he probably is the best CB remaining at this point.

31.) Denver Broncos: Jason Spriggs (LT--Indiana)

Spriggs' outstanding Combine plops him at the bottom of the first round.

So there ya go, BRB.  Thems is my picks.

This is your Saturday Night Open Thread, aka SNOT, but feel free to talk about anything, especially how awesome I am.  Usual open thread rules apply, so please be kind to each other.