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Battle Red Balls: Week Two (Texans v. Chiefs)

Join the Battle Red staff as we give out preemptive game balls for this week’s Texans-Chiefs game.

NFL: Chicago Bears at Houston Texans
Who gets this week’s meaningless balls?
Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

Today marks the first day in a long, long tradition - well, it will hopefully be in ten years - of the Battle Red staff giving out premature game balls to the offensive and defensive players we think, erroneously or otherwise, will rule the day for the Texans in their next game. Since said game hasn't even been played yet, this is all meaningless (even more so than the usual stuff we do here), so don't take it to seriously...

Mike Bullock:

Braxton Miller - The former Ohio State star broke out against the Chiefs for two receiving touchdowns, with one more on a big return.

Jadeveon Clowney - matched against an injury riddled Chiefs offensive line, Clowney hammered Alex Smith for 3 sacks and a forced fumble.

Luke Beggs:

Stephen Anderson: We can also torch your defense with a pass-catching tight end.

Jadeveon Clowney: Eric Fisher ain't seen nothing yet.


DeAndre Hopkins. Will Fuller got the limelight last week; this week, it's Nuk's turn.

Whitney Mercilus. Keep focusing on J.J. Watt and Jadeveon Clowney.


Lamar Miller. KC has a good pass defense, so Houston may be forced to lean on the run.

Defense: J.J. Watt. I've never seen the man unproductive twice in a row.


Lamar Miller. I fully expect KC to focus on Nuk, and OB to respond by running the ball.

Merc. Clowney and Watt will command attention, and Merc will take advantage of it.

Matt Weston:

Xavier Sua'-Filo. He and the Texans' offensive line can't maintain blocks at the second level. Derrick Johnson is going to have, like, a hundred tackles, and Lamar Miller will struggle.

Max Bullough. See Travis Kelce, Spencer Ware, Chandrick West, Chris Conley.

Ryan Dunsmore:

Jaelen Strong: Chiefs limiting Hopkins and Fuller opens the door for Strong.

Jadeveon Clowney: We are all witnesses.


Brock Osweiler. Because that’s what happens when you throw for 375 yards and 3 TDs.

J.J. Watt. He’s going to put Eric Fisher in the back seat of a Volkswagen.


Tyler Ervin. Made up for that muffed punt with a long RB screen that went for a TD, and for that he gets a game ball.

J.J. Watt. Used Vince Wilfork as a hammer to smash Eric Fisher into a goopy-pink ooze on the field to the tune of two sacks.

Brett Kollmann:

DeAndre Hopkins. Gets this game ball for embarrassing Marcus Peters all day long. His two receiving touchdowns were nice as well.

Jadeveon Clowney. Has a whale of a game with two sacks and five total tackles for loss. He wants to make up for missing last year's playoff disaster.

Uprooted Texan:

Brock Osweiler.  I think he gets 260 yards passing, one touchdown and one interception.

J.J. Watt.  I really think the way the last season ended left a sour taste.  I think he gets three sacks, a couple of passes defended, and a forced fumble.

Those are our picks. Who are yours?

Chiefs vs Texans coverage