The Captain's Log 2017, Game 4: "Tour de Force”

There are two times when doing this weekly installment are actually harder than usual: when the Texans get blown out, and when the Texans completely dominate their opponent. In the first example, I just want to toss the whole team into the brig and move on to the next game. In the second, which has been a rare occurrence until Deshaun Watson took the helm, I just want to spread the whole team across the Bravo Zulu section. In both cases, it just becomes unbalanced emphasis and can easily put a reader to sleep. But....

WHAT A GAME! It was complete dominance from every unit. The team collectively put up SEVEN touchdowns and THREE field goals before the day was over. Deshaun Watson tied the single-game NFL rookie record of five touchdowns. Shane Lechler should have just gone fishing for the day. Time of possession for Houston was a few ticks shy of 40 minutes! They also played very disciplined, drawing only three penalties.

The fact that this was to a division opponent was just all the more beautiful, especially since it was the traitorous Titans, who still hold a big part of Houston’s NFL history hostage up in Tennessee.

Alright, that was friggin’ awesome all around. Now it’s time to strap it on for a HUGE game against the Chiefs on Sunday Night Football.

GO TEXANS!

Summary of Key Stats (Game 4):

Around the AFC South...

The Jaguars (2-2)

Jacksonville lost 20-23 to the Jets (2-2) and now head to Pittsburgh to play the Steelers (3-1). The Jags have been quite the “Jekyll and Hyde” team through four games, so perhaps we’ll see what they are really made of in this tilt.

The Titans (2-2)

Tennessee was eviscerated by your Houston Texans in a 57-14 shelling at NRG Stadium. They now head to Miami (1-2) without the services of Marcus Mariota. Former Houston Texans QB Brandon Weeden was signed this week, which indicates that either Mariota may be feared to be out for an extended time or that they lack confidence in Matt Cassel (or both).

The Colts (1-3)

Indy slipped deeper beneath the waves in an 18-46 loss in Seattle to the Seahawks (2-2). They next host the 49ers (0-4), so if anyone was wondering where a good place for a sinkhole or meteor event to take place, I’d submit Lucas Oil Stadium on Sunday afternoon.

Sick Bay

"Dammit! I'm a doctor, not a 50-burger scorekeeper!"

INJURY STATUS:

CB – Kevin Johnson (knee)

INJURED RESERVE:

TE – C.J. Fiedorowicz (concussion)

RB - Tyler Ervin (knee)

Movie Quote (name it):

“Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade to stamp out runaway decency in the west. Now you men will only be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.”

Bravo Zulu – Deshaun Watson & Andre Hal

(Bravo Zulu is a naval signal, conveyed by flag hoist or vocal, for "Well Done")

DESHAUN WATSON

There’s no denying that this guy is special on and off the field. The game is already slowing down for him, and he is making tight-window throws that we haven’t seen since perhaps 2011 at the peak of the Matt Schaub era. Watson’s instincts, patience, and execution still have me wondering how he wasn’t the starter in Week One. Watson tied the single-game NFL record for a rookie quarterback with five touchdowns (4 passing, 1 rushing).

Deshaun Watson was named “AFC Offensive Player of the Week” for his historic performance.

Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

ANDRE HAL

Andre Hal grabbed two acrobatic interceptions and is teasing us that he may be the ball-hawking safety that we have been seeking for so many years. Let’s see this continue!

Shanna Lockwood-USA TODAY Sports

Honorable Mention

• Bill O’Brien gets recognized here for two consecutive weeks of play design and play calling that absolutely maximized the strengths of Watson and the rest of the offense. If he keeps this up, the experimental frustrations of his first three seasons will be delightfully buried in the sound of thunderous applause.
• Will Fuller V blew the doors open in his season debut with two touchdowns! Keep it up!!
• DeAndre Hopkins hauled in 10 of 12 targets for 107 yards and leads the league in targets.
• The rookie linebacker duo of Zach Cunningham and Dylan Cole, Official Player of the 2DH, have all but erased any concerns of Brian Cushing’s 10-game suspension. These two have the speed and instincts to limit tight ends and running backs as receiving threats, and they are bolstering the run defense behind Benardrick McKinney and the defensive line. Cole also notched a sack and a pick-six!
• Ka’imi Fairbairn is also kicking a$$ every week. I was simply satisfied that the kickoffs were getting deeper than the 2-yard line, but the dude has also been nailing field goals like a man on a mission.
• If Earth was ever actually threatened by impact from a massive meteor, I’d submit that J.J. Watt, Christian Covington, and D.J. Reader would be deployed to soak that thing and save us all.
• Nick Martin should be recognized with Pro Bowl and All-Pro honors. He is dominating on every snap! It also looks like the rest of the offensive line finally got their act together, as they were also mauling and wrecking the trenches with great intensity.

Here are some clips of Martin and the OL at work. Credit to Brandon Thorn (@VeteranScout on Twitter).

Well done, gentlemen!!

Stories From The Brig:

• I’ll keep this simple: The NFL officiating needs to improve and be more consistent. The above image shows J.J. Watt being egregiously held, and it went uncalled. This has been going on long enough in several games. It’s criminal that officials allow it to continue.

Movie Quote II (a/k/a “The Hint”)

“What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.”

Ship's Galley

Let’s go below decks to see what’s cooking.

Skirt Steak with Chimichurri Sauce

This is a great recipe that we do quite often. I prefer to actually lay the steaks right on top of glowing hot post oak wood coals (the way Alton Brown recommends). It cooks to medium rare in about 45 seconds on each side; 1 ¹⁄₂ - 3 minutes total depending on how you like yours. You can also cook them on a grill, but get it as close to the high heat as possible. The skirt steak cooks fast since it’s so thin.

It needs time to marinate and break down some of the connective tissue. Be sure to really trim these of unwanted fat carefully before marinating; that will also help keep them from being chewy.

• Skirt steak or “plate” steak (not flank steak).
• Marinate 4 to 6 hours in Mojo Sauce in the fridge.
• Cook over high heat (charcoal or gas grill) for about 3-4 minutes total for medium rare.
• Cover with Chimichurri Sauce (make this ahead of time; keeps up to 3 days in fridge).

Mojo Sauce (marinade)

• 3 heads garlic (about 30 to 40 cloves)
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 1 teaspoon black peppercorns
• 1 cup orange juice
• ¼ cup lemon juice
• ¼ cup lime juice
• 1 cup onion, minced
• 2 teaspoons oregano
• 1 cup olive oil

Chimichurri Sauce

(make ahead of time)

• 1 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves
• 1 cup fresh cilantro leaves
• 3 Tbs. fresh marjoram leaves
• 4 garlic cloves
• Sea salt and freshly cracked black pepper, to taste
• 3 Tbs. champagne vinegar
• Juice of 1 lime
• 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil, plus more for brushing
• 1/2 red bell pepper, roasted, peeled, seeded and finely diced
• 1 Tbs. red pepper flakes (optional)

On The Horizon...

Your Houston Texans host the last undefeated team in the NFL on Sunday Night Football. Let’s get there, get loud, and plant those Kansas City Chiefs so deep that NASA has to send specialists over to figure out how to remove Andy Reid and company without disturbing Earth’s magnetic field.

GO TEXANS!