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Super Bowl 51 Live: Atlanta Falcons v. New England Patriots

It’s the last game of the season and I’m so not ready to resume normal life. Talk about the Super Bowl in Houston with fellow fanatics.

The People’s Football Team of Texas stands in solidarity with the Atlanta Falcons against false “patriots” of lesser England!

Comrades! Eyes of football world turn once again toward our beloved Mother Houston and the venue of People’s Football Team of Texas, our glorious Houston Texans!

Unfortunately, they will not be turning those eyes to see our Texans, envy of football world. Instead, they will be forced to observe pair of lesser teams, one of which may or may not (definitely not) have gotten here in fair and square manner.

False “patriots” of lesser England, despised by all including their own mothers, have been named winners of American Football Conference, mostly through their constant campaigning to referees and best friend and “patriot” stooge, Great Commissar Roger Goodell. His one wish this season was to hand Lombardi Trophy, which belongs in hands of Comrade McNair, to longtime friends Robert Kraft and whiner Tom Brady.

Seasons of fabricated anguish have been entire plan between corrupt NFL brass and their favored child, fraudulent and kind of smelly “patriots.” It has been elaborate, yet stupid, plan of Commissar Goodell to try and improve ratings for one of most watched sporting events on planet. With leadership like this, who could ever hope for legitimate ending? As long as Goodell remains faithful lapdog to Kraft and his necromancer head coach, there will not be legitimate ending to Super Bowl involving team from lesser England!

To prevent this from happening, to avoid coward Goodell from getting what he wants most of all, to hand Lombardi Trophy to quarterback who is afraid of strawberries, is duty of all good, loyal Texans fans, and their friends and relatives, to support Atlanta Falcons.

Granted, Falcons wish they had offensive firepower of Comrade O’Brien’s Flying Circus, but some things simply cannot be helped. What can be helped is to turn duplicitous methods used by “patriots” and their insolent fans against them. Show solidarity for Falcons. Support players who have been exiled from Mother Houston for no longer being able to live up to lofty expectations of football-loving fans and players of Houston Texans. Do not let “patriots” feel like they are at same level as other obnoxious football teams with five Super Bowl wins.

Is your true patriotic duty to support all those who would thwart false “patriots” and other enemies of football! In this case, it is Atlanta Falcons.

To the Texans (and for today, the Falcons) triumph, lead us on!

Enjoy the game, comrades. Usual commenting rules apply. Those who do not abide by them will be purged.