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2017 NFL Free Agent Tracker: Case Keenum Signs With Minnesota Vikings

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The former scion of Houston has a new home.

Baltimore Ravens v Houston Texans
To find his equal, a Case Keenum is forced to talk to God.
Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images

/opens Twitter

//searches “Case Keenum,” as any self-respecting fan of the Houston Texans does at least nine times per day

///reads

////throws whiskey tumbler at wall

/////pours whiskey directly into mouth

//////bellows “KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM!”

///////bawls anew, lamenting lack of movement to address Texans’ QB situation

////////searches “Tony Romo Texans”

FIN.