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Monday Night Football Live: Lions at Giants

If it’s Monday Night, it means there’s football on. You better be watching if you know what’s good for you.

NFL: Arizona Cardinals at Detroit Lions
::weeps uncontrollably::
Tim Fuller-USA TODAY Sports

::Re-reads the matchup::

Giants again?

Hey, NFL Schedule Makers, I know you think the sun rises in Boston and sets just west of Arkansas. I know you believe that the NFC East is the only division in football. I accept that’s your twisted view of the geography of this country. That does not give you carte blanche to give us not one but two Giants games back-to-back to start the season.

I, and the fans of the other 31 teams in the league, have done nothing to warrant this kind of treatment. Maybe Patriots fans, but not the rest of us. I have a hard enough time watching the anemic offense of my beloved Texans without having my television saddled with the bumble[kitten] offense the Giants appear to have this season.

I, and my imaginary attorney with a really good hourly rate, insist that you cease and desist with putting teams with mediocre offenses on prime time television. If you fail to do so, I will be forced to call the police...and probably mail garbage to the NFL league offices. It kind of depends on how I’m feeling at the time.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got. We’re still on for the picnic next week, right? Yes? Excellent. Remember, you’re in charge of the potato salad.


UprootedTexan, Esq.

Enough of my rambling. There’s yet another NFC East team playing for our amusement. Add your comments to the bottom as desired.

The usual thread commenting rules apply unless I say they don’t (spoiler alert: I won’t).