Three And Out: Bills-Texans Predictions

The Houston Texans have nearly clawed their way back to .500 after their nightmarish 0-3 start. With losses last week by the Colts, Jaguars, and Titans, the pressure was on Houston to deliver on Sunday Night Football and put themselves right back in the thick of the playoff chase in the AFC South. It wasn’t pretty, but the Texans got it done and at 2-3 are just one game off the pace of the 3-2 Titans and Jaguars.

This week’s contest against the Bills, on paper, seems like the perfect opportunity for Houston to square its record, but let’s not forget how the Bills managed to slap the Minnesota Vikings around in Minneapolis just a couple of weeks ago.

Bills rookie QB Josh Allen has been nothing short of horrific when under pressure this season, and you know the Texans will be relentlessly bringing the heat.

Let’s see how the Battle Red Blog Staff sees Sunday’s contest playing out...

Tim: Texans 24, Bills 17.

The rise back to .500, as foreseen by our generation’s most astute prognosticator, is complete as of Sunday afternoon.

The new season begins next week in Jacksonville.

Diehard Chris: Texans 30, Bills 10.

The Texans’ pass rush will be too much for Josh Allen and the Bills. Houston’s defense unleashes a torrent of three-and-outs and a gimpy Deshaun Watson manages to play smarter while carving the Bills secondary for 325 yards and 3 TDs.

BFmf’nD: Texans 23, Bills 3.

Josh Allen is the best tight end on the Bills’ roster. What he is not is an NFL QB. Until the Bills figure this out, and it’s going to take about three years, they will absolutely be one of the worst teams in football.

Titan Matt Weston, Slanderer of Blade Runner and a Huge Fan of the Texas Rangers: Texans 23, Bills 6.

Sometimes you just don’t get it, and the Bills exemplify this. They’ve been obliterated twice this year, and Houston has the capability to do it again.

LeSean McCoy is back juking, eurostepping, and turning underwhelming three yard runs into cross country coming of age road trips, but even all of his hijinks shouldn’t work against one of the best run defenses in football. If the Texans can hold Ezekiel Elliott to 54 yards, they can hold McCoy down as well.

Like other teams, it takes the pass game to move the ball against Houston. Josh Allen isn’t a quarterback. He can’t complete passes, which is a prerequisite to be a quarterback. From under center, in the shotgun, on the move, it doesn’t matter...Allen can’t complete passes. He is a young athlete who can turn a boot leg into a 13 yard run and can put together some insane sub 100 yard stat lines, but again, he can’t complete passes. Houston’s secondary problems shouldn’t matter in on Sunday.

If Houston scores touchdowns, this could be a blowout similar to what the Chargers and Packers put together. If they don’t, it should still be an effective, ho-hum, taking care of business, defense dominant game that we used to watch back when the Texans were actually good in 2012.

Mike Bullock: Texans 19, Bills 16.

DeAndre Hopkins and Keke Coutee have big games, but one of the Jordan twins is the only offensive player to find the end zone before the All Field Goal Offense takes over.

Due to rather silly, Monty Python-esque play calling, the Texans turn the ball over early and often, allowing Buffalo to bumble their way to two touchdowns, a missed two-point conversion, and a field goal to end regulation.

Then the Texans almost get their first tie of the season, but once again Nuk wills the offense into scoring position late in the fifth quarter (it’s not really “overtime” if every week consists of 75 minutes of play time) so Ka’imi “MVP” Fairbairn can kick yet another game-winning field goal in his quest for a Hall of Fame season.

Capt. Ron: Texans 20, Bills 9.

I get the sense that Deshaun Watson may sit this one out due to sore ribs. That means the AFO will engineer a mind-numbing 18 points (three points at a time). The Houston defense will keep Buffalo in check and notch a safety for two points. Yawn....

Jeremy Brener: Bills 17, Texans 16.

The reverse jinx hasn’t failed me the last two weeks and it won’t this week either. This won’t be a shootout. Buffalo’s offense will be stagnant if they can’t get McCoy/Ivory going. The front seven was able to stop Zeke last week, so hopefully we see the same this week.

Feel free to share your predictions in the comments below, and enjoy your football weekend!