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Saturday Night’s Alright For Commenting: March 10, 2018

Take off your pants and jacket. It’s time to snort, honk, and spit out some S.N.O.T.

Samsung Galaxy at Austin City Limits Music Festival 2015 Photo by Rick Kern/Getty Images for Samsung

I don’t have a narrative for you. I ain’t got time to thoughtfully write and edit. I got to go get some beet juice, shred my legs, jump in a river, lay in the grass, read Don Quixote, and go up to Austin to see a podcast.

Damn, that sounds silly. So, instead, here are some things that I just really like. Because as Jeff Rosenstock taught me, the things that you hate don’t make you special.

Bruce Springsteen - I always liked Bruce Springsteen. My old man got me a copy of Born to Run for my Walkman from a pawnshop when I was a child. I remember listening to it and having abstract thoughts about women and being an adult. When I became an actual person, I would listen to “Born in the USA” on the 4th of July and have Chuck Klosterman-stemmed arguments in California over who was cooler, Billy Joel or Bruce Springsteen, with Long Island friends. I’d occasionally put in Greetings From Asbury Park at 3 a.m.. You can make the argument Joel is a better musician, but Springsteen is 100% cooler, especially when he’s sweat-soaked and hollering in the middle of the night like Will Ferrell in Austin Powers.

Thanks to the Celebration Rock Podcast,I am 100% a Springsteen fan. I listened to the episodes that include interviews with some of my favorite musicians: Brian Fallon, Patrick Stickles, and Patterson Hood. I listened to the albums. Darkness on the Edge of Town is exactly what I needed. Nebraska is a season of Fargo. Born To Run makes me excited to listen to Texas Rangers baseball games. I’m dying to drive on some rattlesnake highways with these tunes blaring.

Also, if you are a deep listening music fan who loves albums and finding new bands, listen to Celebration Rock. I’ve found a lot of great music through it, and most of the interviews are great.

We Hate Movies - Once upon a time, I wanted to die. I would sit in traffic for three hours a day going to work up in Austin, having to drive back down home, doing a job I hated that I was terrible at while waiting for enough time to pass to get away. During this most miserable endeavor, I would listen to podcasts. I asked for requests from a bunch of friends. The only one that stuck with me, and that I’ve consistently listened to is We Hate Movies. Thanks again, Uprooted Texan.

The premise is simple. It’s four nerds who watch a bad movie and make fun of it. Usually they are hilarious. The best of the bunch are Blame it On Rio and Babycakes. I still feel gross after listening to them. Tonight they are doing a LIVE show in Austin over a Stephen King movie called Maximum Overdrive. If you live close to Austin and can watch this movie right NOW, you should go to the show tonight. It’s going to be a fun time. It will be great to put faces to these voices that helped make life a little bit more enjoyable while I was in the pit.

Fargo - I watched the first season on DVD. I am now watching season two on the DVR. It’s like a Cormac McCarthhy novel, it’s like No Country For Old Men but funny. I love this show.

SALAD - I hate January and February. It’s cold. It’s grey. Your face gets all dried out and crumbly. There’s nothing to do but sit inside, read The Road, and become a devout existentialist.

During that time, I dream of the spring and the sun. In previous years I would waste that precious time. Instead this year, I savored the bleak light. I stopped drinking and worked at doing my best to stay strong.

Since I stopped drinking, I completely switched up my diet. I tried this ketogenic thing. It’s cool. I may continue with it moving forward. I don’t know. I miss eating beans and being a vegetarian. I kind of hate eating meat every day. Regardless, I feel stronger and have more energy. Now, I don’t know if that’s because I’m going to bed at 10 p.m. and am never hungover or not, but it’s worked out some.

I don’t know what I’ll do in the future. I’ll probably drink a beer again. I may eat croutons one day. But I am going to eat this salad I came up with every day for lunch for the rest of my life. Since this diet provided me with this salad, it’s made everything worth it. This salad is simple: a handful of spinach, red pepper, blue cheese, avocado, broccoli, cauliflower, blue cheese, and this silly salad dressing that is a dirty cup with olive oil, apple cider vinegar, liquid smoke, tumeric, salt, pepper, cayenne, and garlic powder all swirled together. If you need a fatty salad, this is the best one in the world.

Anyways, that’s all I got. Enjoy your night. It’s beautiful. The clocks are about to jump forward and being alive is beautiful again.