I am very dumb, and like many other very dumb people, I was excited to watch the Browns play football in 2017. The Process was humming together. Cleveland had a great offensive line, talented skill position players, a potential first round quarterback in DeShone Kizer they snagged in the second round, and an interesting young defense. They went 0-16.
The offensive line was crumpled biology notes covered in doodles of turtles, crammed into the bottom of the backpack, not found until May cleanup. Corey Coleman was injured. Kenny Britt is a thief. The running backs never really got moving because again, the offensive line didn’t meet expectations. Hue Jackson is the worst coach in NFL history and tossed Kizer into a difficult vertical offense, failing to create easy throws for him. Gregg Williams is an atrocity and fielded one of the worst defenses in football, thanks to doing things like playing Jabrill Peppers on another continent. If you want a coach who will put his players in a position to fail, Williams is your guy. The Browns are the best team to ever go 0-16. Damn, I hate that coaching staff.
Since then, Cleveland fired Sashi Brown, the NFL’s composer of The Process. The Browns fired a general manager who had the right idea of collecting as many picks as possible to create a comfy situation for a top young quarterback if they couldn’t trip and fall their way into a solid starter some other way. Sashi put some talent on the field, but Brown and Williams couldn’t get a drop out of it. Yet Brown is the one who is gone, and the coaching remains the same.
With new general manager John Dorsey on board, the Browns actually drafted a quarterback in Baker Mayfield. Mayfield is a player I love in Cleveland. However, he is doomed to fail. His only chance of success is if he can hide on the bench this year and learn from watching Tyrod Taylor toss bombs down the sideline to Josh Gordon. Mayfield should hope to only step on the field after Hue Jackson is gone. If not, Mayfield will end up another tarnished Browns quarterback prospect.
This season you may not watch a single Browns game, but you’ll be watching them on HBO this summer like you watched the Texans three years ago. Cleveland will be featured on Hard Knocks all training camp long as the Browns prepare to try and win one football game. They should start scheming and game planning right now to beat the New York Jets. Who cares about the rest of the schedule?
With the Hard Knocks cameras rolling, you’ll get to see the failure of Jackson, Myles Garrett dinosaur hunting, Gregg’s Mission Impossible villain goatee, Gordon’s journey, and Baker’s jorts.
At least when LeBron leaves this summer, the city of Cleveland will have something else to do.