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Houston Texans Game Day Live: Texans v. Chiefs (First Quarter)

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The second most meaningless game of the preseason—but the most important one to date—is about to start. Talk about it here.

NFL: Kansas City Chiefs at Houston Texans Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

Hello, how are you? Yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah. That’s whatever you’re talking about for you.

Sorry, I can’t focus because in a few minutes the Texans will take the field for the first time this season.

Sure, it’s a preseason game where everything is made up, the penalties roam wild and free, and the points don’t matter, but it’s still more football than we’ve gotten in the last six or seven months.

You should tune in and watch the game, pay attention to all the subplots going on that have carried over from last season and this year’s training camp at (points nose upward) The Greenbriar, and work on who makes the 53-man roster based on tonight’s performance against the Chiefs. Enjoy the verbal nonsense that is Spencer Tillman and the other guy as they drive Texans fans insane with this year’s version of their classic word salads.

I say you should tune in because I will be unable to watch, partly because I’ll be out swimming, but mostly because it won’t be on in my area.

So please, do me a favor, do yourself a favor, and watch tonight’s preseason game. Watch it with someone you love. Watch it with someone you’re indifferent to. Watch with someone you hate. It makes no difference to me. And remember: real football is a month away.

Enjoy the game, y’all.

NOTE: Please do not post any images, videos, GIFs, or non-text comments in any of BRB’s live game threads. They tend to slow the thread down and can take a long time to load. Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

NOTE II: Due to the fast-paced nature of these threads, there will be no warnings before bans on game day. If a moderator deems a comment or user to be problematic, he or she will remove that person from the discussion for the good of the collective game day experience. If you’re on the wrong side of the law today and want your posting privileges reinstated, please send an e-mail to one of us tomorrow.

NOTE III: Please refrain from any reference to or mention of any religion or religious figure, even if you believe it’s celebratory or inoffensive. If you make such a reference or comment, it will be deleted and you will be warned. Two violations of this rule will result in a ban.