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Three And Out: Texans-Titans Predictions

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The venerable BRB staff assembles to predict Sunday’s contest between the Texans and Titans in Nashville.

NFL: Houston Texans at Kansas City Chiefs
I LOVE THE HONEY BADGER AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT.
Jay Biggerstaff-USA TODAY Sports

I’ve barely had a chance to work myself into my “seasonal lather” and here we are, already playing the Tennessee Titans (better known ‘round these parts as the BESFs). The Texans have a good shot to ruin Mike Vrabel’s home debut as coach of the Titans...as if a Texans win in Nashville could possibly be any sweeter than normal. Let’s see how the BRB staff thinks this one will go...

Tim: Texans 27, Titans 17.

We’ll see a team closer to what may of us thought the 2018 Houston Texans would be this week instead of what we saw last week. I expect a significantly more successful downfield passing game with the presumable return of Will Fuller, and I’m interested to see if Lamar Miller can run this week like he did against the Patriots. I also believe we’ll see a better pass rush that forces Marcus Mariota into a mistake or two.

Diehard Chris: Texans 27, Titans 13.

After last week I have... concerns. However, my most overwhelming Week 1 thought is that, dammit, the Texans lost a game they were supposed to lose against the greatest coach and QB of all time. So I’m gonna roll with that, else begins an unrelenting multi-week panic.

The Titans keep it close for most of the game before Deshaun Watson starts to cut it loose in the second half. J.J. Watt looks close to his old self, Tyrann Mathieu comes up with another turnover, and Houston wins 27-13. Also, if Marcus Mariota plays, he continues to make us all wonder why people think he’s good. He’s not.

After the win, we all take a collective deep breath and re-center ourselves for a good season that ends with at least one playoff win. Please?

Kenneth L.: Titans 26, Texans 20.

Yikes. 0-2? Not a good start for your boys in deep steel blue. Titans at home is never easy plus we are reshuffling our offensive line and secondary. I am worried that the team still is not fully in sync and the WR position is not fully healthy. This game depends on the health and wellness of Mariota and Taylor Lewan to return healthy after injuries against the Dolphins.

BFmf’nD: Texans 126, Titans 0.

For me, this game is heavily dependent upon Marcus Mariota starting. If he does, the BE-SFs have a chance to win the game. If it’s Blaine Gabbert, then LOLs for everybody.

Regardless, F the BE-SFs.

UprootedTexan: Texans 40, Traitors 1.

I’ve been in Greece the last two weeks and learned more about the Titans and the hideous monsters they spawned and let loose on humanity, which feels like an appropriate comparison to the loathesome Cletuses of Tennessee.

I have no analysis of this game because I’ve been out of the country, but the Titans and their fans can snort my taint forever.

Capt. Ron: Texans 24, Titans 13.

O’Brien needs a bounce-back game or the pitchforks and torches will be heading to Kirby. Last week, the apprentice was pantsed by his former master. This week he should return the favor in kind to his former apprentice Vrabel.

The lack of playing time for several starters during preseason showed a Houston team as rusty as we have ever witnessed, but towards the end of the tilt with New England, Watt, Watson and others started showing that they were getting their legs under them again and coming up to speed. This should be a much better matchup for all to get right.

Mike Bullock: Houston 41 Tennessee 17.

Deshaun Watson wakes up, takes the game on his shoulders, and puts his name back in the hat for MVP. J.J. Watt, Jadeveon Clowney and crew show Mike Vrabel’s new kids that they’re the ones Daddy loved first. Taylor Lewan proves once again he can’t stop #ClowneyComin’. H-Town for the win.

kdentify: Texans 38, Titans 10.

RAC’s men show no mercy to their former coach/coordinator’s new team and Vrabel’s defense can’t handle an energized Watson. OB will be looking to not be shown up by his former employee, so I expect our offense to be clicking.

How do you see the game going Sunday? Is there a realistically survivable way forward for any of you if the Texans don’t win? Will you cut off all contact with your family? Will you enter into an agreement with unsavory characters in order to get this team back where it needs to be?

I know for a fact BFD is skilled in the Dark Arts. His price is high, however. So high. Think about the team, people - your family is truly not relevant. We need wins. What are you going to remember more, “a child” or another AFC South title? I rest my case.