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BRB Group Think: Fantasy-Casting Antonio Brown To The Texans

LISTEN I know this is ridiculous, but let’s have fun saying “why not Antonio Brown???!!!???”.

Pittsburgh Steelers v New Orleans Saints
Antonio Brown isn’t riding his Hog to Houston, but we can dream
Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images

LOOK. I know this is foolish, silly, and a total pipe dream. But sometimes when you are drowning in Ryan Griffin nightmares, Alfred Blue panic attacks, and seizures induced by thoughts of another extended absence by Will Fuller V - YOU NEED TO DREAM BIG.

So let’s do that, if only for a moment.

Allow me to make a logical case for Antonio Brown - which I am not even sure **I** agree with - and we’ll see how some of the other BRBers feel about it.

Diehard Chris - The Case for Antonio Brown Which I’m Not Sure I’m Even In Favor Of But Let’s Take Our Pants Off And Get A Little Crazy For Once:

I know the Texans have bigger needs, BUT...

They have plenty of cap space and draft capital to make a huge dent in those needs AND...

Bill O’Brien is constantly bragging about how great this locker room is, and what a great group of guys this is, and blah blah blah, so AB’s diva qualities aren’t even a part of this discussion unless he’s facing an NFL suspension (or unless Bill O’Brien has been lying to us about the locker room) AND...

This offense is disproportionately affected by Will Fuller V’s health. His field stretching and deep speed open a whole new world for Deshaun and the offense, BUT... no way, shape, or form can you count on Fuller to stay healthy at ALL.

So I say offer up* one of our extra second rounders for AB. If that’s not enough, offer up either or both of a mid-rounder in NEXT year’s draft, plus perhaps Will Fuller V himself to the Steelers.

*This entire offer is contingent upon AB playing out his current deal, which has I believe three more years starting with 2019. If he wants a reworked deal before start of 2019, then he can go [KITTEN] himself.


Count me in.

There’s no way in Hades we should rely on Will Fuller to be healthy. As intriguing as the Jordans are at TE, they are both still enormously unproven elements.

AB changes the offense, giving Deshaun Watson another weapon. We have the cap room. We have the locker room. We should be in win now mode, so I’m happy to give up some picks. I’ll hop on this trolley.

Mike Bullock:

A second rounder for Antonio Brown. Done. Not even worth discussing. Deshaun Watson and DeAndre Hopkins are great leaders, as is J.J. Watt - they can keep one guy reigned in. Now, maybe Brown and Houston’s new Strength and Condition coach get into in some sort of Alfred Blue on Hard Knocks flashback, but that’s a risk worth taking.

Between Will Fuller V and Keke Coutee, I think the Texans have one complete player, but when the lack of their best abilities, i.e. their availability, overlaps, Houston’s passing game falls too far off the map.

Rivers McCown:

I don’t think Brown is necessarily more valuable than Fuller at this stage of each of their careers -- a big part of Brown’s dissatisfaction came from deservedly falling behind Smith-Schuster in the pecking order. At 31, I think he’s basically a year-to-year proposition and he’ll be asking to be paid for at least two years and likely three.

I also don’t want to block Coutee’s snaps. I think that highly of him.

I don’t think trading for a healthy, motivated Brown is a bad thing. I certainly wouldn’t be angry if it happened. But I think there are better deals out there for the Texans.

Matt Weston:

Ahhhhhhh, damn. I don’t know, dude. The idea on paper makes beautiful, perfect sense. Two seconds, Will Fuller V, and maybe throw in someone like Brandon Dunn too. I don’t know. Or put a white t-shirt on me, franchise tag Jadeveon Clowney, trade him and a second for Brown. Then you have Deshaun Watson, Antonio Brown, Will Fuller V, Keke Coutee, and an all-time great wide receiver corps.

The two things I can’t get past are (1) this seems so surreal and as far as away from reality is possible and (2) this team is still coached by Bill O’Brien. Until I see O’Brien committed to fully utilizing Watson for an entire game, not just when the game is tied or when the Texans are trailing, I don’t think it’s worth building a super duper offense. There’s just this wall in O’Brien’s brain where he wants to make every win the safest possible and limits the team because of it.

Hell yeah. I’m a party girl. I love the idea of Antonio Brown coming to Houston. I just don’t think it would ever happen, and Houston has the wrong coach to even enjoy what could happen if it did.

Okay, BRB, I will leave this in your hands. Feel free to comment on this COMPLETE AND TOTAL FANTASY, with or without your pants. I dunno, eat your Valentine chocolates until you can’t see anymore, log in, and tell us your thoughts. That’s how I do it.

Enjoy your hellscape of a football-free weekend. Oh, right...AAF. Yeah, there’s that. Watch that.