This week I posed a question to the group - if you could sprinkle magic dust on one non-QB position for the Texans in 2019 that would imbue the player(s) at that position with good health and All-Pro performance, who (or which position) would it be?
Why did I pose this question, you ask? Because there’s no meaningful Texans football until September, and I’m depressed - okay? When I’m depressed, I ask dumb questions and my friends humor me by answering them, all the while muttering behind my back wondering why the hell they keep me around.
So yeah, have some fun with this one. Mock me if you must. We all have our own way of dealing with Early Onset Offseason Depression. This is mine.
I’m going to go a little bit outside the box on this one since the obvious answers are likely to be either cornerback position and left tackle. My answer is WR2. Since WR2 is Will Fuller V, this would ensure his health and performance for an entire season. You take your chances that DeAndre Hopkins will keep being himself, and that Keke Coutee will be healthy - which I don’t think is a stretch, considering I do not believe he had injury issues prior to the NFL. Hamstrings can be tricky.
With Fuller opening up the field and the hopeful assumption that the offensive line won’t require as much chipping and double-team help from RBs and TEs in 2019, that could make for a very fun season of offense.
Julie’n Davenport (Left Tackle). I mean, who knew that having an All-Pro level left tackle was a good thing, something you don’t trade for some magic beans because we don’t need one, anyway?
But, seriously (please tip your waitress), I think Davenport’s got the physical skills to be an All-Pro, and I’d love for him to put it together, especially to help keep our franchise QB alive.
The biggest problem Houston had last season was their secondary. It was masked for weeks because they were winning close games against a B.C. Cowboys team, Josh Allen’s replacement Nathan Peterman, NAME REDACTED, Alex Smith (until his leg snapped), Colt McCoy, Blake Bortles, and so on and so forth. Andrew Luck threw it on the Texans three times. Sam Darnold did. Nick Foles did. Hell, Bortles had a wide open Dede Westbrook multiple times but just missed.
An All-Pro cornerback, or hell even a Pro Bowl caliber cornerback, would mean so much to this defense. The spare parts would only have to cover 2/3 of the field instead of all it. It would allow their safeties to make more plays. The defense would be okay even if J.J. Watt wasn’t beating up on backup tackles, and Jadeveon Clowney wasn’t all there.
Cornerback is the area in greatest need of this magical upgrade in talent. The biggest plays against Houston’s defense last season were made possible by sub-standard play by a rag-tag collection of defensive backs on Houston’s roster. Watching Shareece Wright do it wrong and seeing Johnathan Joseph lose to Father Time was brutal.
I could convince myself that the offensive line can ascend to some position of competence, but not cornerback. That cupboard is completely bare. I would ask for Kevin Johnson to become an elite corner because they Texans don’t just need an elite corner; they need one that isn’t about to retire.
Since the obvious answers are either left tackle or cornerback, I’ll leave those as given and offer a dark horse suggestion: tight end.
How many years has it been since we’ve had an all-world tight end (or even a competent one) that can act as both bulldozer for the running game and an escape valve for the passing game?
Was it Owen Daniels? That one year that C.J. Fiedorowicz did a thing that I’m not sure even really counts?
Imagine an All-Pro tight end who can do it all. What he would add to this offense. Imagine him barreling over defenders to give Lamar Miller a chance to break loose or to catch that tough first down pass from Deshaun Watson. But most importantly, imagine an All-Pro tight end that would force Ryan (expletive) Griffin onto the friggin’ bench until the end of time or his contract ends, whichever came first.
That, friends, is a future worth dreaming of, and what I’d use my magic football dream dust on.
BRB, you now have a small leather satchel of this magical pixie dust as well - what would you do with it? Would you use it on a left tackle? Would you push all this aside and use it on yourself even though this has nothing to do with you?
You would. I know you would. Some of you would sprinkle it on secret parts of your bodies. Others would chop it with a credit card and snort it like it was meth (coke is too fancy). I would blend it into my delicious homemade creme brulee, serve it to all my friends, and then wait for the nosebleeds.
But this is about you... so let’s hear what you would do with this magical substance.