Three and Out: Sunday Night Football Predictions

Tonight, tonight, the Houston Texans are closing out a winless decade against the New England Patriots and will attempt to sneak a win in before this set of time comes to a close. These are our predictions for the game. Join in on the fun and leave your’s in the comments below.

MATT WESTON:

I’m a bloody and squabbling mash of flesh. I have no expectations for tonight. Win-lose. Entertainment. Nothing. And honestly, after going back and watching every Texans loss to the Patriots, I don’t even know if I like football anymore. I let the darkness into my heart. I don’t know how to get it out.

If I did, I would have written a game preview and I would have said things like, if Houston uses their three through seven receivers well enough to take advantage of the attention Will Fuller V (who will probably be bracketed) and DeAndre Hopkins will draw (who will probably be single covered by Stephon Gilmore, the league’s best cornerback), if Jacob Martin can create third down pressure by running fast around New England’s slower tackles, if they can play zone coverage and not lose track of the Patriots’ receivers, if they pick up blitzes well, and if Deshaun Watson does things no one has ever done before (like he typically does), the Texans could and should win.

But I don’t.

TIM: Patriots 27, Texans 20.

I will believe the Texans can beat the Pats the next time I see it. It hasn’t happened for nearly nine (9!) years; before that, it hadn’t happened for more than seven (7!) years.

Deshaun Watson gives me hope, but not enough to spit on history.

TEXANREVJ: Patriots 34, Texans 14.

This is the perfect storm for the Texans to lay an egg. A prime-time game against the Patriots is about as bad of a match-up as you could ask for. I believe we are going to see just how big a gap exists between Bill O’Brien and Bill Belichick. Belichick will have his team ready to play; BOB will get out-schemed. Then we will all move on to next week and pretend like the Texans can actually contend come playoff time.

Bill O’Brien has never beat the Patriots. That isn’t going to change this weekend. Even with the Patriots possibly missing some starters on D due to illness, they will still win this game.

KENNETH L: Patriots 34, Texans 17.

This will be a typical Texans loss. Down early. Two major mistakes, poor habits in the red zone, and just a little hope at the end. Patriots won’t follow the Jags or Colts model of being passive against the Texans. Bill Belichick will be agressive and attack the Texans on both sides of the ball. Expect the Texans to handle Sony Michel, but have a terrible time covering Julian Edelman.

DIEHARD CHRIS: Patriots 29, Texans 17.

The Patriots cruise in a game that’s not as close as the score appears. The better the opposing coaching staff, the less confidence I have in the Texans, and it’s tough to beat the Patriots both on coaching and QB play.

The Patriots will contain Deshaun Watson, and Tom Brady will be able to move the ball almost at will in the short passing game.

MIKE: Patriots 41, Texans 24.

A large part of any competition is the head games. John Madden is legendary for the sorts of things he used to do to opponents. One year, in a game against the Kansas City Chiefs with major playoff implications, Madden went to the visiting locker room and called the Chiefs’ coach to the door. In a voice loud enough for the whole team to hear, Madden said “Sorry for the rats! We tried to get an exterminator out here, but they were all booked up. Hopefully they won’t bother you guys.” The Chiefs players were so freaked out that many of them were standing on stools trying to get changed into their uniforms. Madden got them so discombobulated that the Raiders made short work of their rat-fearing division rivals and moved onto the playoffs that year.

Madden made a career out of bending the rules and playing head games. Bill Belichick is the modern day Madden. Bill O’Brien, on the other hand, is more like the Chiefs players, getting dressed while precariously perched on a bar stool, hoping the rats don’t get him.

Deshaun Watson and the Texans’ offense will put up their average 24 points, but Tom Brady will find every single weak link in the Texans’ defense and exploit it until O’Brien and Crennel get desperate and finally destroyed.

Man, I hope I’m wrong, but...

BfMFd: Texans 17, Pats 24.

One head coach in this game puts his players in a position to succeed, thanks to his ability to create mismatches and negating the opposition’s best players. The other head coach thinks yelling at the square peg to fit into the round hole is a teaching moment.

Until Bill O’Brien actually beats Bill Belichick, I will never, ever take the Texans. As usual, it’ll be a one score game.

CAPT RON: Texans 13, Patriots 28.

One of these coaches has all the weapons needed for an elite offense in the NFL but stubbornly orchestrates them like it’s 1959. Meanwhile, the other coach can load the sidelines with guys who were bagging groceries a few weeks ago and lead them to multiple Super Bowl championships.

I hate the Patriots, and I hate that O’Brien is wasting J.J. Watt’s and Watson’s best years. It will be another prime time embarrassment game for Houston. Wake me when the Texans get a coach who can beat the best NFL teams.

KENNY: Texans 17, Patriots 27.

The Texans have the talent to beat New England and have been so close these past couple times to beating them. However, until I see it, I can’t pick them to win this game.

What’s your prediction for tonight’s final score?