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BRB Groupthink: Slicing Open Old Wounds

This week the masthead bands together and brings up the cold, awful, miserable past.

NFL: AFC Divisional-Houston Texans at New England Patriots Winslow Townson-USA TODAY Sports

On Wednesday night the Houston Rockets blew it. Kevin Durant left the game with a lower leg injury while Reggie Miller cried wolf, when it was a calf strain, not an Achilles tear. They had a chance to go up 3-2, head home to clinch, without Durant on the court, and they screwed it all up. It was unbelievable. A soul wrenching, abhorrent, gut dissolving, franchise folding loss.

And the entire time the game was on I was thinking about the past, which means I was thinking about the Houston Texans, which means I thought of a similar game in a much less serious situation. Houston was 2-0. [NAME REDACTED] was their quarterback. They headed up to New England to play the Patriots while Tom Brady was in the timeout corner with a dunce hat on. Finally. Maybe. Could this be the year the Texans actually have a quarterback and beat New England? Nope. Of course not. Somethings just aren’t meant to ever happen.

The Patriots bracketed DeAndre Hopkins. Played two safeties deep. Forced [NAME REDACTED] to beat them with intermediate accuracy, something he has none of, and forced him out to the flat over and over and over again. He averaged 4.7 yards an attempt. 196 yards on 41 throws. The Texans were blanked 27-0 and gave up 185 rushing yards, including a memorable Jacoby Brissett scamper. The rest of the NFL used this same template to destroy [NAME REDACTED] from this day on wards.

This same team would go on to beat them in the Divisional Round as well, a game where the Texans’ defense finally was able to get to Brady, force turnovers, and play well enough to win, but, the quarterback made a win impossible. Ahhhh the good old days.

After rummaging around and pulling out the suitcases from past Texans losses, while watching the Rockets complete one of their own, I asked the masthead, “What do you think is the worst loss in Texans’ franchise history?”.

Matt Burnham:

Does the loss vs Indy count because of how they were man handled and dominated from opening kickoff?

I’m also going to say Week 17 in 2012 at Colts. They were in position to earn a first round bye but blew it and ended as the third seed. That team looked like the best in the AFC for much of the year. Who knows what would have happened if they were at home in the Divisional Round instead of having to travel to New England?

Luke Beggs:

2013 Texans vs Seahawks. The beginning of the end for the Kubiak Texans and Matt Schaub’s brief sojourn as a starting QB on a potentially championship level team. I still remember screaming NOOOOOOO as the ball left Schaub’s hand on that Sherman INT.


I’m going to cheat on this one.

I think the worst Texans “loss” was when Albert Haynesworth broke Matt Schaub’s foot, creating one of the biggest what ifs in Houston sports history.

Count me among those who thought we had a legit shot at the Super Bowl that year. I think it was easily the best team we’ve had in our history, and as much as TJ Yates will always live in Texans lore, losing Matt Schaub was a big deal. Almost as worse, he was never the same after that injury.

Diehard Chris:

So many...

I have to go with the home playoff loss to Kansas City where the Texans lost 30-0. That was just a total embarrassment, and right from the jump when Knile Davis took the opening kickoff for a TD. Brian Hoyer had perhaps THE WORST game I’ve ever seen from a starting NFL QB in a playoff game.

Others that come to mind - SNF getting obliterated by the Seahawks in Seattle. Either of the two road blowout losses under O’Brien in that same season when they got drilled in Miami and Atlanta (and they ABSOLUTELY QUIT in those games). Losing at home to the Ryan Fitzpatrick-led Rams was another awful one.

An underrated awful loss was also the home opener in 2009. Rex Ryan’s New York Jets led by Mark Sanchez came to town to open the year and they kicked us right in the molars, beating Houston 24-7.

Thanks for this topic - felt so good after that horrible Rockets loss in Oakland. Really, thanks.

Uprooted Texan:

It depends on how you define “worst,” I think. In terms of sheer kitten-kicking relative to stakes involved, I’d probably go with the 30-0 drubbing the Texans took against Kansas City.

If you mean a game where you can’t shake off how the game went against you, I still have visions of the 2010 Texans/Jags Q-Tip game, with honorable mention to the Rosencopter game; the only reason those two aren’t flip-flopped is because the Rosencopter itself was just part of a long slide to a loss whereas the Q-Tip literally ended the game and all I could see afterward was the white static you see on a broken TV.

I’m sad now.

Mike Bullock:

There are several that come to mind, most of which have been mentioned here. But, for me, the last lost was the worst. Houston had been out of Indy’s shadow for long enough to have a feel of semi-permanence to it, And, even though we all knew Houston was punching way above their weight class last year, they should have been able to beat Indy, but instead got pants’ed. Just as we start letting hope overrun logic and we start thinking they’re truly about defying the odds, the A-Gap, All Field Goal, Conservative, Don’t Take ANY Chances garbage rears up and dashes hope against the rocks of mockery making us want to borrow the paper bag hats from Browns fans.

The weight of Matt Schaub pick sixes, Brian Hoyer playoff hosings, Rosencoptering, Darth Belichik beat downs just crushed my soul watching that Wild Card embarrassment. And, Indy looks to have improved this off season while Houston hasn’t...


There was the Titans game where Shankapotamus missed the game winner as time expired.

But for me it has to be the Rosencopter.