Power Rankings: —POST Offseason (Part I)

Traditional power rankings suck, dude. They overreact to one HUGE signing and one sad! departure. Rarely do they take in account the entire offseason, or even the resources each team currently has. To give a more accurate representation of what’s going on and where these teams currently stand, I will not equivocate or give into the yank of heartstrings the NFL offseason brings.

Instead, here’s where all 32 teams rank when taking account their 2019 offseason.

32.) Miami Dolphins—Record: 7-9. Point Differential: -114 (30). DVOA: -16.5% (27). Previously 32nd.

Departures: Andre Branch (DE), Ted Larsen (LG), Danny Amendola (WR), Josh Sitton (LG), Ryan Tannehill (QB), Ja’Wuan James (OT), Cameron Wake (EDGE), Brandon Bolden (RB), Frank Gore (RB), Robert Quin (EDGE).

Additions: Dwayne Allen (TE), Ryan Fitzpatrick (QB), Clive Walford (TE), Eric Rowe (CB), Chris Reed (OG), Jordan Mills (OT).

Cap Space: $26,605,312

Draft Picks: Christian Wilkins (DT), Michael Deiter (OG), Andrew Van Ginkel (LB), Isaiah Prince (OT), Chandler Cox (RB), Myles Gaskin (RB).

The Dolphins traded for Josh Rosen, which is probably my least favorite place for him to land. It’s hysterical how bad the right side of their offensive line is. DeVante Parker is probably never going to happen, and his best target is the inconsistent, but blows up whenever he’s on your bench, Kenny Stills, and then there’s the dynamic short route running Albert Wilson. The defense is crappy. He’ll take over once Ryan Fitzpatrick runs out of his mana.

Don’t listen to the Dolphins. They are trying to lose this year.

31.) Cincinnati Bengals—Record: 6-10. Point Differential: -87 (26). DVOA: -9.7% (23). Previously 31st.

Departures: Marvin Lewis (HC), Bill Lazor (OC), Vontaze Burfict (LB), Jake Fisher (TE), Cedric Ogbuhei (OT).

Additions: Zac Taylor (HC), Brian Callahan (OC), Lou Anarumo (DC), B.W. Webb (CB), John Miller (RG), Darqueze Denard (CB), (DE) Kerry Wynn.

Cap Space: $22,598,807

Draft Picks: Jonah Williams (T), Drew Sample (TE), Germaine Pratt (LB), Ryan Finley (QB), Renell Wren (DT), Michael Jordan (OG/C), Trayveon Williams (RB), Deshaun Davis (LB), Rodney Anderson (RB), Jordan Brown (CB).

I did like their draft. They ended up with the best offensive tackle in this class, a great blocking tight end, and a Vontaze Burfict replacement without all the biting and toothbrushes that are shaved down into a jagged point. They’ll probably be better than this. I’m mostly just still upset by how they fell apart last season.

30.) New York Giants—Record: 5-11. Point Differential: -43 (22). DVOA: 0.0.% (16). Previously 29th.

Departures: Connor Barwin (EDGE), Johnathan Stewart (RB), Olivier Vernon (EDGE), Odell Beckham Jr. (WR), Landon Collins (S), Jamon Brown (OG), B.W. Webb (CB), Mario Edwards (DT), Josh Mauro (DT), Kerry Wynn (DT).

Additions: Kevin Zeitler (OG), Jabril Peppers (S), Antoine Bethea (S), Golden Tate (WR), Markus Golden (EDGE), Olsen Pierre (DT), Antoine Bethea (S), Mike Remmers (OT).

Cap Space: $15,606,683

Draft Picks: Daniel Jones (QB), Dexter Lawrence (DL), Deandre Baker (CB), Oshane Ximines (OLB), Julian Love (CB), Ryan Connelly (LB), Darius Slayton (WR), Corey Ballentine (CB), George Asafo-Adjei (OT), Chris Slayton (DT).

Everyone made fun of the Giants for taking Jones in the first round. At least they took a quarterback! For a while there it seemed like Eli was going to hang around with his face all red and scrunched up for another five more seasons. Even if it wasn’t the right one, whoever that maybe, the important thing is they finally took one. I still don’t get Deandre Baker.

29.) Oakland Raiders—Record: 4-12. Point Differential: -177 (31). DVOA: -21.0% (31). Previously 26th.

Departures: Kelechi Osemele (OG), Jordy Nelson (WR), A.J. McCarron (QB), Donald Penn (OT), Jon Feliciano (OG), Seth Roberts (WR).

Additions: Mike Mayock (GM), Denzelle Good (OT), Antonio Brown (WR), Trent Brown (OT), Lamarcus Joyner (S), Tyrell Williams (WR), J.J. Nelson (WR), Vontaze Burfict (LB), Jordan Devy (OG), Nevin Lawson (CB), Curtis Riley (S), Mike Glennon (QB), Isaiah Crowell (RB), Brandon Marshall (LB), Landry Jones (QB), Ryan Grant (WR),

Cap Space: $29,000,970

Draft Picks: Clelin Ferrell (DE), Josh Jacobs (RB), Johnathan Abram (S), Trayvon Mullen (CB), Maxx Crosby (DE), Isaiah Johnson (CB), Foster Moreau (TE), Hunter Renfrow (WR), Quinton Bell (DE).

The Raiders are hipsters by taking high floor low ceiling Ferrell, a running back early in the draft when no one does, and players from either Alabama, Clemson, or a school you’ve never heard of. I don’t think they did enough to improve their pass rush or their secondary, and the offensive line isn’t great enough to give Derek Carr the forever and a day he requires to be succesful. Antonio Brown is going to be PISSED once they start 0-5. He’s going to make Carr’s mascara run. Can’t wait!

28.) Detroit Lions—Record: 6-10. Point Differential: -36 (21). DVOA: -15.2% (28). Previously 28th.

Departures: Jim Bob Cooter (OC), Glover Quin (S), Bruce Ellington (WR), T.J. Lang (OG), Nevin Lawson (CB), Kerry Hyder (DT).

Additions: Darren Bevell (OC), Trey Flowers (DE), Justin Coleman (CB), Jesse James (TE), Danny Amendola (WR), Oday Aboushi (OG), Andrew Adams (S), Tommylee Lewis (WR), Logan Thomas (TE), Rashaan Melvin (CB), TommyLee Lewis (WR), Logan Thomas (TE), Rashaan Melvin (CB), Charles Washington (S).

Cap Space: $23,412,920

Draft Picks: T.J. Hockenson (TE), Jahlani Tavai (LB), Will Harris (S), Austin Bryant (DE), Amani Oruwariye (CB), Travis Fulgham (WR), Ty Johnson (RB), Isaac Nauta (TE), P.J. Johnson (DT).

The New England Lions drafted a tight end in the first round and reached for a linebacker. When will teams understand. What the Patriots do works because they have Tom Brady. You can’t replicate them when you pay Matthew Stafford checks over the cap and screams $29.5 million. Flowers playing up to his contract, and their young defensive line to all develop at the same time is their only hope.

27.) Arizona Cardinals—Record: 3-13. Point Differential: -200 (32). DVOA: -40.4% (32). Previously 25th.

Departures: Steve Wilks (HC), Byron Leftwhich (QB), Al Holcomb (DC), Mike Glennon (QB), Antoine Bethea (S), Jermaine Gresham (TE), Mike Iupati (OG), Markus Golden (EDGE), Deone Bucannon (LB), J.J. Nelson (WR), Oday Aboushi (OG), Olson Pierre (DT).

Additions: Kliff Kingsbury (HC), Vance Joseph (DC), Tanner Vallejo (LB), Robert Alford (DB), Brooks Reed (DE), Charles Clay (TE), Marcus Gilbert (OT), Jordan Hicks (LB), J.R. Sweezy (LG), Brett Hundley (QB), Max Garcia (OG), Kevin White (WR), Josh Shaw (DB), Darius Philon (DT), Terrell Suggs (OLB), Maxx Williams (TE), Tramaine Brock (CB), Darius Philon (DL),

Cap Space: $6,535,79

Draft Picks: Kyler Murray (QB), Byron Murphy (CB), Andy Isabella (WR), Zach Allen (DE), Hakeem Butler (WR), Deionte Thompson (FS), KeeSean Johnson (WR), Lamont Gaillard (C), Joshua Miles (OT), Michael Dogbe (DE), Caleb Wilson (TE).

2019 is all about Murray, but from a win-loss perspective, it’s going to be all about their veteran led cut and paste offensive line. Losing Patrick Peterson also bumped them down, who allows their entire secondary to rampage around the field freely, without having to be concerned about the opponent’s best wide receiver.

26.) New York Jets—Record: 4-12. Point Differential: -108 (29). DVOA: -14.8% (25). Previously 23rd.

Departures: Todd Bowles (HC), Jeremy Bates (OC), Kacy Rodgers (DC), Spencer Long (G/C), Terrence Brooks (S), Kevin Pierre-Louis (LB), Mike Pennel (DT), Isaiah Crowell (RB), James Carpenter (OG), Buster Skrine (CB), Andre Roberts (WR), Terrence Brooks (S), Clive Walford (TE), Mike Maccagnan (General Manager).

Additions: Adam Gase (HC), Dowell Loggains (OC), Gregg Williams (DC), Kelechi Osemele (OG), Jamison Crowder (WR), Josh Bellamy (WR), Le’Veon Bell (RB), C.J. Mosely (LB), Brian Poole (CB), Chandler Castonzo (K), Daniel Brown (TE), Tom Compton (OG/OT), Trevor Siemian (QB), Ty Montgomery (RB).

Cap Space: $28,886,990

Draft Picks: Quinnen Williams (DT), Jachai Polite (DE), Chuma Edoga (OT), Trevon Wesco (OT), Blake Cashman (LB), Blessuan Austin (CB).

This general manager firing after the draft, promotion of Adam Gase, and pursuit of Peyton Manning is hilarious. I would like to think there’s no effing way Bell gets traded, but after some of the trades that have been made this offseason, anything is possible. I’d be desolate if Bell does get traded. I am watching the clock, waiting for the rain to go away, and for Bell to creep behind Osemele on power run plays. Don’t take this away from me. My wife has already taken the kids. At least I kept the diner.

25.) Buffalo Bills—Record: 6-10. Point Differential: -105 (28). DVOA: -18.4% (28). Previously 27th.

Departures: John Miller (OG), Charles Clay (TE), Logan Thomas (TE), Kyle Williams (DT).

Additions: Spencer Long (G/C), Frank Gore (RB), Kevin Johnson (DB), Tyler Kroft (TE), Mitch Morse (C), Ty Nsekhe (OT), Cole Beasley (WR), John Brown (WR), Jon Feliciano (OG), Andre Roberts (WR), LaAdrian Waddle (OT), Maurice Alexander (S), E.J. Gaines (CB), Senorise Perry (KR/PR), Quinton Spain (G), T.J. Yeldon (RB), Eli Harold (DE), Eddie Yarbrough (DE).

Cap Space: $27,883,172

Draft Picks: Ed Oliver (DT), Cody Ford (T/G), Devin Singletary (RB), Dawson Knox (TE), Vosean Joseph (LB), Jaquan Johnson (S), Darryl Johnson (DE), Tommy Sweeney (TE).

Loved their draft. Loved their entire offseason aside from the Beasley signing. Is Josh Allen just an absolute joy to watch, a perfect model of youth who turns the most basic of plays into heart yammering highlights, a transcendent figure who turns white light into a prismatic kaleidoscope, or is he an actual NFL quarterback who wins games? I hope its yes, but it probably isn’t. You can’t teach accuracy.

24.) Denver Broncos—Record: 6-10. Point Differential: -20 (18). DVOA: 6.6% (13). Previously 22nd.

Departures: Vance Joseph (HC), Bill Musgrave (OC), Joe Woods (DC), Andrew Holmes (WR), Darian Stewart (S), Case Keenum (QB), Brandon Marshall (LB), Matt Paradis (C), Billy Turner (OG), Bradley Roby (CB), Shaquil Barrett (EDGE), Matt LaCosse (TE), Mac Garcia (OG).

Additions: Vic Fangio (HC), Rich Scangarello (OC), Ed Donatell (DC), Joe Flacco (WR), Ja’Wuan James (OT), Kareem Jackson (DB), Bryce Callahan (CB).

Cap Space: $10,650,205

Draft Picks: Noah Fant (TE), Dalton Risner (T/G), Drew Lock (QB), Dre’Mont Jones (DT), Justin Hollins (DE), Juwann Winfree (WR).

We all know the Flacco experience by this point. He’s really bad! He hasn’t even thrown the ball downfield well in like six years. As much as I enjoy their defense, and what maybe the best run offense in 2017, Flacco is still the sludge at the bottom of the recycling bin. I can’t believe the Ravens were able to get anything for him.

23.) Washington Redskins—Record: 7-9. Point Differential: -78 (25). DVOA: -18.6% (29). Previously 30th.

Departures: Preston Smith (OLB), Ty Nsekhe (OT), HaHa Clinton-Dix (S), Maurice Harris (WR).

Additions: Case Keenum (QB), Landon Collins (S), Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie (CB), Ereck Flowers (OT), Brian Quick (WR).

Cap Space: $9,883,056

Draft Picks: Dwayne Haskins (QB), Montez Sweat (DE), Terry McLaurin (WR), Bryce Love (RB), Wes Martin (OG), Ross Pierschbacher (C), Cole Holcomb (LB), Kelvin Harmon (WR), Jimmy Moreland (CB), Jordan Brailford (OLB).

It’s amazing what having a quarterback can do. Washington went from being an absolute travesty to interesting after Haskins (and even Sweat) dropped to them. My word of advice to Haskins. Ditch the #7. Washington is a quarterback graveyard. Don’t tempt the necromancers and warlocks.

22.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers—Record: 5-11. Point Differential: -68 (23). DVOA: -13.0% (25). Previously 24th.

Departures: Dirk Koetter (HC), Todd Monken (OC), Mark Duffner (DC), Vinny Curry (DE), Desean Jackson (WR), Bryan Anger (P), Mitch Unrein (DT), Adam Humphries (WR), Ryan Fitzpatrick (QB), Adarius Taylor (LB), Andrew Adams (S), Josh Shaw (S), Kwon Alexander (LB), Brian Angerer (P).

Additions: Bruce Arians (HC), Byron Leftwich (OC), Todd Bowels (DC), Deone Bucannon (LB), Bradley Pinion (P), Breshard Perriman (WR), Shaq Barrett (EDGE), Earl Watford (OG), Kentrell Brice (S), Blaine Gabbert (QB),

Cap Space: $1,054,932

Draft Picks: Devin White (LB) Sean Bunting (CB), Jamel Dean (CB), Mike Edwards (S), Anthony Nelson (DE), Matt Gay (K), Scott Miller (WR), Terry Beckner (DT).

Every year I fall for some stupid team. There was exotic methmouth, there was the Cardinals winning me like $150 last year, and I liked the 2016 Chargers way more than anyone should have. This year it’s the Bucs. I’ve made up my mind. Making five straight defensive draft picks to improve the league’s worst defense makes me love them even more.

21.) San Francisco 49ers—Record: 4-12. Point Differential: -93 (27). DVOA: -20.3% (30). Previously 19th.

Departures: Earl Mitchell (DT), Gary Gilliam (OT), Pierre Garcon (WR), Bradley Pinion (P), Cassius Marsh (DE), Brock Coyle (LB).

Additions: Kwon Alexander (LB), Dee Ford (OLB), Tevin Coleman (RB), Jordan Matthews (WR), David Mayo (LB), Jason Verrett (CB).

Cap Space: $35,336,544

Draft Picks: Nick Bosa (DE), Deebo Samuel (WR), Jalen Hurd (WR), Mitch Wishnowsky (P), Dre Greenlaw (LB), Kaden Smith (TE), Justin Skule (OT), Tim Harris (CB).

If you keep using all your first round picks on front seven players it has to work eventually? Right? Right? Right? John Lynch bellows into the void. The 49ers are darlings from a football nerd loser regression perspective, but they didn’t do enough to improve the worst part of their team, the secondary. They’ll be a case study for the online battle being waged between coverage or pass rush being more important.

20.) Minnesota Vikings—Record: 8-7-1. Point Differential: +19 (T-12). DVOA: 8.1% (10). Previously 18th.

Departures: Mike Remmers (OG), Andrew Sendejo (S), Sheldon Richardson (DT), Nick Easton (C), Latavius Murray (RB), Trevor Siemian (QB), Tom Compton (OG), George Iloka (S), Marcus Sherels (CB).

Additions: Kevin Stefaniski (OC), Shamar Stephen (OG), Josh Klike (OG), Dan Bailey (K), Ameer Abdullah (RB),

Cap Space: $1,129,984

Draft Picks: Garrett Bradbury (C), Irv Smith (TE), Alexander Mattison (RB), Dru Samia (OG), Cameron Smith (LB), Armon Watts (DT), Marcus Epps (S), Oli Udoh (OT), Kris Boyd (CB), Dillon Mitchell (WR), Olabisi Johnson (WR), Austin Cutting (LS).

Last week we played ‘Is He Good?’ on the podcast. I also made a list of all the players who are bad. The list was Kirk Cousins, Tyrann Mathieu, and Kirk Cousins. When you make $30 million you have to be the reason why your team wins games. Cousins doesn’t do this.

19.) Tennessee Titans—Record: 9-7. Point Differential: +7 (15). DVOA: -4.9% (20). Previously 21st.

Departures: Brian Orakpo (EDGE), Austin Davis (QB), Blaine Gabbert (QB), Johnathan Cyprien (S), Josh Kline (OG), Luke Stocker (TE).

Additions: Arthur Smith (OC), Adam Humphries (WR), Rodger Saffold (OG), Cameron Wake (EDGE), Ryan Tannehill (QB).

Cap Space: $30,621,971

Draft Picks: Jeffery Simmons (DT), A.J. Brown (WR), Nate Davis (OG), Amani Hooker (S), D’Andre Walker (OLB), David Long (LB).

The Titans are fine. If Simmons doesn’t play their pass rush probably won’t be great enough to help out their secondary. So they’ll need to score points. Marcus Mariota and Tannehill are going to oscillate as the starter as they each miss games because of maladies like bruised elbow, hyper extended knee, and plantar fasciitis. It’s going to be like a college team with two three star freshmen quarterbacks who take turns every series pushed to its most boring extreme.

18.) Carolina Panthers—Record: 7-9. Point Differential: -6 (16). DVOA: 0.5.% (14). Previously 17th.

Departures: Ryan Kalil (C), Julius Peppers (EDGE), Ben Jacobs (LB), Captain Munnerlyn (CB), Matt Kalil (OT), Thomas Davis (LB), Devin Funchess (WR), David Mayo (LB), Chandler Catanzaro (K), Kenjon Barner (RB), Da’Norris Searcy (S).

Additions: Matt Paradis (C), Bruce Irvin (EDGE), Chris Hogan (WR).

Cap Space: $9,842,019

Draft Picks: Brian Burns (DE), Greg Little (OT), Will Grier (QB), Christian Miller (DE), Jordan Scarlett (RB), Dennis Daley (OT), Terry Godwin (WR).

The Panthers hate Cam Newton.

17.) Atlanta Falcons—Record: 7-9. Point Differential: -9 (17). DVOA: -3.0% (17). Previously 20th.

Departures: Steve Sarkisian (OC), Marquand Manuel (DC), Robert Alford (CB), Matt Bryant (K), Brooks Reed (EDGE), Ryan Schraeder (OT), Tevin Coleman (RB), Bruce Irvin (EDGE), Justin Bethel (CB), Brian Poole (CB), Marvin Hall (WR).

Additions: Dirk Koetter (OC), Jamon Brown (OG), James Carpenter (OG), Luke Stocker (TE), Kenjon Barner (RB), Logan Paulsen (TE), Justin Hardy (WR), Adrian Clayborn (DE), Ra’Shede Hageman (DT), Chris Odom (DE).

Cap Space: $1,230,462

Draft Picks: Chris Lindstrom (OG), Kaleb McGary (OT), Kendall Sheffield (CB), John Cominsky (DT), Qadree Ollison (RB), Jordan Miller (CB), Marcus Green (WR).

I love the Falcons’ offensive line so much now with Lindstrom and McGary probably starting next to one another. I love the outside zone. I love Matt Ryan off of play action. Defensive performance can swing wildly from one season to the next. Maybe it can happen to Atlanta.