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Best Sports Quotes: Head Scratching Comments That Make You Go Hmmm...

Because we could all use a good laugh these days.

LA Clippers v Houston Rockets Photo by Bill Baptist/NBAE via Getty Images

No matter where you fall on the Bill O’Brien fan ladder (is he a super-genius or just Wile E. Coyote?), we can all agree that he’s yet to make the list of greatest verbal blunders in sports. Despite getting paid to play a kid’s game and enjoying celebrity status, some people clearly have brain bloopers like the rest of us.

With all that’s going on in the world right now (whether you’re life if currently disturbed by COVID-19, Coral, or anything in between), we thought this list might bring a smile to your face, some laughter to your lips, and elevate your current mental state of mind (as opposed to a mental state of some other kind?).

Joe Theismann, Super Bowl MVP

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

Bill Peterson, Florida State coach

You guys line up alphabetically by height!

Shaquille O’Neal

I’ve won at every level, except college and pro.

John Madden

Here’s a guy, here’s a guy who when he puts his contacts in, he can see better.

Lou Duva (boxing trainer), discussing fighter Andrew Golota

He’s a guy who gets up at 6 o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.

Pat Williams, ex-Orlando Magic GM

We can’t win at home, we can’t win on the road. As a general manager, I can’t figure out where else to play.

Steve Spurrier, discussing a fire at Auburn’s football dorm that destroyed 20 books

The real tragedy was that 15 of them hadn’t been colored in yet.

Jim Finks, former New Orleans Saints GM, when asked about NFL referees after a game

I’m not allowed to comment on lousy officiating.

Ben Roethlisberger, on how to beat an opponent

I think, for me at least, we have to try to score more points than they do.

Bill Peterson, Florida State coach

You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.

Jacques Plante, NHL Goalie

Goaltending is a normal job, sure. How would you like it in your job if every time you made a small mistake, a red light went on over your desk and 15,000 people stood up and yelled at you?

Yogi Berra

Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.

Chuck Nevitt, ex- Houston Rocket

My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.

Kevin Keegan, former soccer player

The Germans only have one player under 22, and he’s 23!

Rocky Graziano, former boxer

I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it.

Lou Duva, former boxing promoter

You can sum up this sport in two words: You never know.

Doug Collins, former basketball player

Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.

Pete Rose

I’d be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball.

Karl Malone

I ain’t gonna be no escape goat.

Greg Norman, golf pro

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

Unknown NFL head coach

If we hadn’t lost, we had a good chance of winning.

Charles Shackleford

I can dribble with my right hand and my left, I’m amphibious.

William “Refrigerator” Perry

I’ve been big ever since I was little.

Booger McFarlane

If the Ravens score more points than the Rams tonight, I like their chances to continue this winning streak.

John Madden

They’ll score if they can just get into the end zone.

Mike Tyson on retirement

I guess I’m going to fade into Bolivian.

Which of these made you LOL? SMH? Have one that isn’t listed here? Share it in the comments.