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BRB GroupThink: Turkey, Stuffing, Things Of That Nature

We’re talking Turkey Day here.

A Bulgarian worker inspects chicken at a Photo credit should read VALENTINA PETROVA/AFP via Getty Images

Nobody wants to talk about the Houston Texans, let alone watch the Houston Texans anymore. I think I still do? I don’t know. No, I know I do. The balloon is empty and lying on the ground. Everyone is ready for next offseason.

There’s a light up ahead. It’s Thanksgiving dinner. Warm and gooey and constipating. What is your favorite Thanksgiving dish?


If we’re going with the food analogy, being a Texans fan right now is the equivalent of the moment as a five year old when your ice cream cone splats on the ground. Except, no one is there to make it better, get you another one or tell you it’s going to be ok.

For me, I could eat a plate of turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing, smothered in gravy just about any day of the week. And, pumpkin pie - especially the ones Costco makes. Yum!

And, I actually love leftovers to make turkey sandwiches. But, yeah, that gets old after a few days.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


At one point in my life, I worked at a call center in Austin. There a gelatinous mash of people chained to computers and telephones who left their hometowns, traveled around, and wondered how they ended up here. There was a guy who is now new anchor in a middle California city, a man who sold snowcones to make money in his free time, a dude who just slept the whole time but wear a suit to work everyday, my manager was a former European basketball from California who fell in love with the telephone sales game, a former seafood fisherman, and a guy from Massachusetts who freakin laved the Pats and saw the Ramones in 1982, and was, like, such a total foodie.

He told me about a sandwich that has been a staple in my gastric bypass ever since. It’s simple. You take the leftover turkey, put it on white bread, put mayonnaise on it, and then salt. That’s it. That’s the whole sandwich. Year after year since then, drunk and constipated, at 2 p.m. and scourging, questioning if I can eat any more leftovers, the turkey, mayonaise, and salt sandwich has always been there.

Hate it. Fight it. Do whatever you want, make it one night, and give it a try before you go out and lambast and destroy.


The correct answer: my wife’s homemade pumpkin chiffon pie. Not heavy and saggy like your standard pie, but light and flavorful. Combine with some ice cream and or whipped cream and you are at the apex for Turkey Day dinning. All other food suggestions are playing for second.

Even if the play of the Texans is likely to inspire indigestion for the rest of the season, wishing all who read this a happy and fulfilling Thanksgiving.


This season has been roughly what I’ve expected albeit I wish there were more sources of optimism to draw from. I’m waiting for the draft at the end of the year not unlike how I am most eager for dessert on turkey day. I’m a glutton for a good pecan pie. Personally I prefer it over the typical pumpkin that has invaded the seasonal treat space. However one dish that really embellishes my sweet tooth is my moms acorn squash recipe. Comparable to a stressed parent desperate to have their child eat vegetables acorn squash is cut in half, seeded and then given a hefty scoop of butter before sprinkling brown sugar and cinnamon to bake until melty goodness occurs.

Regardless of how this season tastes like yucky vegetables that are required before we get to better things, I hope somebody can find their melted butter and sugar in this pile of abyss. Whether that be Greenards flashes, “Geiger” Hill making splash plays, or pinning up a photoshopped poster of David Culleys rain coat on an Alaskan crab rig in your bedroom to get a good laugh.


Before I moved to Seattle, my family would visit my aunt’s parents’ house for Thanksgiving. Her mother was this little old Italian lady and one of the things she’d make every year, in addition to all the usual things is Italian food, including manicotti, which I always made a beeline for.

But if we’re including desserts, my absolute favorite Thanksgiving food is pecan pie. Specifically, my grandmother’s pecan pie, which my wife now makes for me every year.


Green bean casserole for me. I hand fry the onions, which makes it even better. I also love the trifecta of dressing, mashed potatoes, and brown gravy, though. Thanksgiving and Christmas are the only two times of year I eat dressing and green bean casserole, so there’s also that.

Turkey sucks and there’s no defending it and I won’t hear otherwise harumph. Instead of turkey, I will be grilling a spatchcocked chicken. Because SPATCHCOCK.


Green bean casserole is the most BFD thing I’ve ever heard. At our house, it’s the turkey and seafood stuffing. We’re cooking turkey right now in the green egg and the seafood stuffing... well let’s just say I don’t even want to know what all goes into it. I know there’s shrimp, crab, and sausage along with rice and stuff, but outside of that it’s all a mystery.

The holidays are usually the only time of the year that I’m able to be home for an extended time, which I certainly enjoy. Coming back to H-town is always a joy and I love the holiday season with the fam. This year may be a bit smaller, but still better than last year where we weren’t able to get together.


Drown me in a river of brown gravy. Heavenly garlic mashed potatoes doused in the stuff is what dreams are made of. Dessert wise, Dutch Apple or Pumpkin is acceptable.

Stuffing is for the weak. Sweet potatoes should never have been discovered.

What say you?