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Houston Sports Information Ministries - Week Nine

Please join the congregation for this week’s sermon from the only minister that cares about the well being of your sports soul.

For Jack Easterby so loved his worthless job that he sacrificed an entire football team to save it.

Mood Music

Brothers and sisters, you can always rely on the Houston Texans to bring you consistent performance and drive every week. Such was the case last week against the Rams. Their offensive and defensive consistency pleased the eyes of our football lord and savior, through whom all things are possible.

But that is not what I want to talk to y’all about today. Today’s lesson is about the opposite of consistency: change. Change can be scary, change can unsettle even the most even-tempered disciple. But you know something, friends? Change can be necessary. It can be vital. It can be the will of the Texans leadership, which works in mysterious ways that even they don’t fully comprehend. But most important, most important, change can be a force for good.

Just look at the trade deadline. All kinds of opportunities there for our Texans to better themselves, and in turn better OUR selves. After much self-reflection and prayer, it was determined that we needed to make a change from Charles Omenihu, from Whitney Mercilus, for the good of our immortal souls. Their performance was a tarnish upon the city, one that simply could not stand. That is why we make change, brothers and sisters, for the good of all.

That is not even to discuss sending brother Vernon Hargreaves to do good works in Cincinnati, because they know what they did to deserve his works.

Now I know what a lot of you are thinking. I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying “but Minister, I understand that change can be a force for good, but I don’t understand if it is, why did the Texans not force Deshaun Watson’s contract onto another team?” And that’s a mighty fine question too. Sometimes, you have to remember, that change can also be a risky thing.

Our general manager, in his wisdom, refused to cave into the demands of the thieves and the brigands of the NFL. The full value of Deshaun Watson’s contract will be revealed in the fullness of time, you must simply be patient and what?

Keep the faith.

One more time for the people in the back!


That’s what I’m talking about, now!

It is easy to see the failures of the team, and there are many to be found, in their multitudiness but we must have the faith of a brisket, that we know when the right time will be to pull out of the pit and our team be saved!

Here endeth the lesson.

Now let us turn to the book of Caserio, Chapter 3 Verses 1-8:

For everything during the season, there is a time for every purpose under NRG: a time to choose prospects, and a time to send them away; a time to score, and a time to defend; a time to break down the team, and a time to build the team back up; a time to weep, and a time to weep even louder; a time to mourn, and a time to touchdown dance; a time to cast away coaches, and a time to choose new coaches; a time to embrace That Football Feeling, and a time to refrain from embracing That Football Feeling; a time to seek alcohol, and a time to lose by a lot; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for football, and a time for not football.

Let us all remember this, that every move made by the Texans will come at the exact right time, no matter what you or I or the beer vendor might say is wrong. For we are wrong and can only appreciate the wisdom that we cannot possibly know.

In the name of McNair the Father, McNair the Son, and The Holy Toro, we say, in a single voice come Sunday afternoon, Go Texans.