Houston Texans Final Score/Post-Game Recap: Seahawks 33, Texans 13

It was the best of halves, it was the worst of halves.

Well, that’s not strictly true, is it?

It was more like the meh-est of times for the first half, where the Texans were only down by three points after Ka’imi Faibairn kicked the longest field goal in franchise history (61 yards, for the record). Davis Mills looked downright tolerable to maybe even good. Which is, of course, why the Texans were so run heavy in the first half. Because that’s just simple logic, amirite y’all?

Then the second half rolled around, and we were treated to the Texans team we’ve known and rolled our eyes at all season long. The Texans gave up two touchdowns, a field goal, and responded by racking up a lot of injuries. Davis Mills turned back into a pumpkin, but that’s fine because David Culley said Mills gives the Texans the best chance to win. Or something.

I don’t remember when exactly it turned into a Seahawks home game. But with the clearly audible “SEA-HAWKS!” chants and 12th Man flags hanging in the stands, you’d be hard-pressed to say this game was played in the friendly confines of NRG Stadium and the hundreds of Texans fans in attendance.

It was gross, painful, and boring to watch, like a low speed train crashing into a chicken truck. But at least we’re a step closer to the end of the season. Our quest to get the top pick in the 2022 NFL Draft is alive and well.

I’m writing this as I watch the Texans go out of bounds short of the first down line trailing by 20 points with four seconds left on the clock. My thoughts now mirror that of this entire season: WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS TAKE LONGER THAN IT NEEDS TO?!

I’ve got nothing left. So now I’m turning it over to y’all. Vent your frustrations/indifference in the comments below.