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Hair Of The Dog - What Just Happened Edition (Texans/Chargers)

The BRB gang get together to discuss the Texans ::checks notes:: dominating win against the Chargers and wonder how they fell [kitten] backwards into a pile of Christmas.

NFL: Los Angeles Chargers at Houston Texans Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

Okay we won a game last week and we won again on Sunday, that’s called “two in a row.” And if the Texans win again next Sunday against the 49ers, that’s called a “winning streak.” It has happened before.

I can’t say I expected to utter that quote this year. Shoot, I wasn’t sure we would even get to do the “two in a row” portion of that sentence. But here we are.

I don’t have a lot to say about the game because I was at my first Texans home game in almost 20 years and I was having fun with my friends, which made it difficult to pay attention to what was happening on the field. I do recall being confused, though. A lot. Much confused. But that could’ve also been the drinking.

So in the spirit of holiday hangovers (happy Boxing Day, by the way), this will likely be a fairly short Dog this week with minimal editing. Possibly next week too.

As always, in finest HOTD tradition, all swear words have been replaced with [kitten] to make it safe to read at work.

Enjoy!

PREGAME DISCUSSION

UprootedTexan — Today at 8:28 AM

Merry Christmas to all and to all a what the hell are we doing here?

l4blitzer — Today at 9:26 AM

Same thing we do every fall Sunday…figure out why we cheer for this team…then figure out how to take over the world…

Matt Weston — Today at 9:57 AM

MERRY CHRISTMAS

The scabs are heerrree

lol they are playing up two practice squad siblings to pump this game up

FIRST QUARTER

UprootedTexan — 12:04 PM

There’s maybe a hockey arena’s amount of people here.

l4blitzer — 12:06 PM

Hopefully there will be as much hitting on the field…something to keep this interesting

Our first penalty of the day…all is normal

Matt Weston — 12:08 PM

lol what’s a Strachan?

l4blitzer — 12:10 PM

Tell me Staley isn’t gun shy from last week?

3-0 ex-San Diego team

Carlos Flores — 12:18 PM

Royce Freeman RB1

l4blitzer — 12:19 PM

Decent CHUMing to start…The Chargers know we don’t run well, right?

Carlos Flores — 12:19 PM

Rex Burkhead RB1

l4blitzer — 12:20 PM

Ah, the well-timed holding penalty…Texans 2021 at its finest

Matt_Robinson — 12:21 PM

Rolls Oldsmobile Freeman as I often say

l4blitzer — 12:22 PM

Texans with the rushing TD…yes, that actually happened. Texans 7-3

Matt Weston — 12:24 PM

Damn the Chargers run defense is so bad that even the Texans can run on them.

l4blitzer — 12:25 PM

Great…the Texans will now think they can CHUM all day…then again, that will move this along faster, so go ahead

Stoppage of play due to the chain gang? That’s different

7-6 Texans after a Chargers FG…Staley passes on his second straight 4th down opportunity

Carlos Flores — 12:34 PM

COWARD

Matt Weston — 12:35 PM

COWARD

l4blitzer — 12:35 PM

Jags only down 6-3 to the Jets…clearly Urbz was the sole problem

Carlos Flores — 12:36 PM

What an adventurous throw to the flat

Matt Weston — 12:36 PM

Staley’s only dumb third down decision against KC was the attempt at the end of the half because the field position wouldn’t come in play

l4blitzer — 12:37 PM

I did recall watching the play and was thinking he should have taken the easy 3…alas

Classic Texans screen game in effect.

End of 1st quarter: Texans 7, Chargers 6

SECOND QUARTER

Carlos Flores — 12:43 PM

There are people that think that Mills will outplay Herbert today.

l4blitzer — 12:45 PM

Think Herbert heard you…

Carlos Flores — 12:45 PM

He heard them, I’m not that big of an idiot LMAO

l4blitzer — 12:46 PM

Yeah, we are delusional, since we follow this team, but maybe not that bad…

Matt Weston — 12:48 PM

The Chargers trying to show HOU how to run split outside zone

I’m sick I may lose the fantasy title to Rivers because James Robinson got hurt and I didn’t see Darius Leonard had COVID

bigfatdrunk — 12:49 PM

LOL@ Texans run D.

UprootedTexan — 12:49 PM

God this game is [kitten]ing hilarious.

l4blitzer — 12:49 PM

Chargers realize that you can actually score TDs against HOU, but maybe not 2pt conversions…LAC 12-HOU 7

UprootedTexan — 12:50 PM

Half an hour into the game.

bigfatdrunk — 12:50 PM

That’s a lot of EBITDA right there.

Rex Burkhead is still a waste of a roster spot.

Matt Weston — 12:55 PM

These are the two worst run defenses lmao

Hey, it’s Rex Burkhead’s team

l4blitzer — 12:56 PM

Texans really think they can run…unreal

Matt Weston — 12:57 PM

Mills has to put that ball upfield on the outside shoulder against inside leverage regardless of the call

l4blitzer — 1:00 PM

Commentators shocked that the Texans CHUMed on 2nd and long…they really shouldn’t be.

bigfatdrunk — 1:01 PM

Can we cut Fairbairn now?

l4blitzer — 1:01 PM

How ‘bout that? Texans w/the 51 yarder and it is now 10-12 Chargers

Matt Weston — 1:07 PM

Is Jonathan Owens going to make Justin Reid replaceable? Things we are trying to muster up to find something from this game.

l4blitzer — 1:07 PM

Owens with the pick…that’s a positive development.

You think Reid will still want to stay here after this season?

UprootedTexan — 1:11 PM

They’re playing Sweet Caroline and I’ve never been more embarrassed as a Houstonian.

l4blitzer — 1:11 PM

7 penalties this half…but remember, culture.

UprootedTexan — 1:12 PM

You’re [kitten]ing me, seven penalties?!

l4blitzer — 1:13 PM

Now 8

UprootedTexan — 1:14 PM

LOL.

bigfatdrunk — 1:14 PM

LOLOL!

UprootedTexan — 1:15 PM

[Durga], I didn’t think he had that in him.

l4blitzer — 1:16 PM

I think there cleaner games in early preseason.

bigfatdrunk — 1:16 PM

That was a [kitten] of a catch. Goodness.

l4blitzer — 1:17 PM

Ok, that was clutch.

bigfatdrunk — 1:20 PM

Playing for a FG.

Carlos Flores — 1:20 PM

Not gonna lie, that was a fantastic throw

bigfatdrunk — 1:21 PM

What the [kitten] was that?

l4blitzer — 1:22 PM

Is Mills…is Mills actually QBing good?

bigfatdrunk — 1:23 PM

No.

l4blitzer — 1:24 PM

Mills disrupts the planned end of half FG, Texans 17-12

Halftime: Texans up 17-12. (We are surprised as you are reading this).

HALFTIME REACTIONS: (aside from the expected WT[K] exclamation).

Matt Weston — 1:34 PM

We are going to see 10 Davis Mills starts next year

THIRD QUARTER

l4blitzer — 1:38 PM

We are in the zone for CHUMing

Penalty 9 for the Texans…

Surprisingly, always playing for a 50+ yard FG doesn’t always yield points.

Matt Weston — 1:46 PM

HOU has run the ball well, taken shots down the sideline, split the hooks against cover four, and here we are.

bigfatdrunk — 1:47 PM

Another first half of doing everything right...and still barely winning. It’s like a theme.

l4blitzer — 1:48 PM

Apparently we are on pace for the patented Texans 3rd quarter derp

Kenneth L. — 1:51 PM

I truly don’t recognize any of the players on this defense

l4blitzer — 1:53 PM

A 4th and long and Staley going for the FG…the Chiefs must have really gotten to him. The FG is good, 15-17 Texans.

UprootedTexan — 1:54 PM

I think we have a case against the Chargers for stealing our all field goal defense.

l4blitzer — 1:55 PM

Either that, or the Texans/Chargers are both playing NFL Blackjack, where the 1st to 21 wins

Matt Weston — 1:55 PM

Josh Allen is really on one today

Kenneth L. — 1:57 PM

Chargers fans have to be reeling rn

bigfatdrunk — 1:58 PM

Are they really that worried, though?

l4blitzer — 1:58 PM

Commentators critical of all of these CHUMs…they might be catching on.

Kenneth L. — 1:58 PM

Until they take the lead

Gorgeous ball by mills

A better receiver brings that down

Why aren’t they bringing any pressure??

l4blitzer — 2:01 PM

Perhaps the Chargers misplaced that bit of game tape on Mills?

Chargers making a second half push to win the penalty battle.

End of the 3rd: Texans 17-15 and inside the Chargers’ 5

bigfatdrunk — 2:08 PM

They are so piping in crowd noise. I mean, that crowd is 50/50 Texans at best, and there’s nobody there.

l4blitzer — 2:09 PM

Texans with an actual TD in the 4th quarter that actually matters: Texans 24-15

Matt Weston — 2:09 PM

I’d set myself on fire if I cared if LAC won or lost

l4blitzer — 2:13 PM

Jonathan Owens with his 2nd takeaway of the game.

Kenneth L. — 2:15 PM

Oh me oh my

l4blitzer — 2:17 PM

More CHUM…why not?

Kenneth L. — 2:18 PM

WHAT

what. A catch. Okay mills

l4blitzer — 2:19 PM

When it’s working, it’s working…

So is following a big play with a CHUM

Texans cash in the turnover for a FG, Texans 27-15.

Kenneth L. — 2:28 PM

That was horrific by Justin Reid

UprootedTexan — 2:30 PM

Take as old as time. Song as old as rhyme. Holding on the Texans….

Carlos Flores — 2:30 PM

Thank [Durga] for Justin Jackson saving my money leagues.

l4blitzer — 2:30 PM

Chargers deciding that it might be a good idea to score a TD…and they throw in a 2pter to boot. 23-27 Texans

UprootedTexan — 2:31 PM

I love Justin Jackson on a personal level.

l4blitzer — 2:34 PM

Chargers with all 3 timeouts…how many will they have left after this drive?

bigfatdrunk — 2:34 PM

Prevent offense.

UprootedTexan — 2:36 PM

I feel like I’m watching this game with brain damage which is probably the way to do it.

l4blitzer — 2:37 PM

How ‘bout that? A first down when needed…

I think Burkhead might actually overtake Ingram as the team’s leading rusher.

bigfatdrunk — 2:39 PM

Rex Burkhead is a waste of a roster spot.

UprootedTexan — 2:40 PM

I lost the 50/50 lottery, this game sucks.

If you can spot me in the audience I will give you a $50 Texans gift card somehow.

l4blitzer — 2:43 PM

Uh, this is really not good by the Chargers here

UprootedTexan — 2:43 PM

Oh sure I go into this game, the first Texans home game I’ve been to in nearly 20 years and they go and do something dumb like win. This is bull[kitten].

Joe Critz — 2:45 PM

HOW ARE WE BEATING THE CHARGERS

Hi everyone Merry Christmas!

l4blitzer — 2:45 PM

Marc Vandermeer giving himself a heart attack on that call: HOU 34-23

UprootedTexan — 2:47 PM

Chanting SEA-HAWKS at the Texans game to amuse myself.

l4blitzer — 2:48 PM

2 minute warning. Texans holding on to an 11pt lead…I am not making this up.

UprootedTexan — 2:50 PM

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Kenneth L. — 2:51 PM

WHO ARE ER

We

l4blitzer — 2:52 PM

Vandermeer blows outs the ears of everyone listening on the commentary after a Thomas pick-6; 41-23 Houston…Houston??? Yes, Houston.

UprootedTexan — 2:56 PM

Garbage time TD.

l4blitzer — 2:58 PM

Chargers cut lead to 29-41. 1 for 3 on 2pt conversions

Joe Critz — 2:58 PM

Davis mills showed some serious improvement in this game

Can’t believe how much he has improved in one season

l4blitzer — 3:00 PM

Final: HOU 41-LAC 29. I think this went the way we all expected

GAME BALLS

Offense: You have to give the ball to Rex Burkhead today. After all, it’s not every day where someone breaks Mark Ingram’s Texans’ rushing yardage record.

Defense: Let’s give it to Tavierre Thomas for his game cinching pick-six. Those don’t happen often enough for the Texans.

Special Teams: Cameron Johnston gets the nod, because punters deserve some love too.

What do y’all have to say about the game? Let us know!