Well, your Houston Texans have found another way to lose, this time falling in the draft order even though they lost in horrific manner to the Indianapolis Colts last weekend.

Due to tie-breakers, the Texans slid to the #3 spot in the 2022 NFL Draft behind the Jacksonville Jaguars. Even though the Detroit Lions finally found a way to win a game, Houston still lost by losing.

2022 NFL Draft Order

1 Detroit Lions 1-10-1

2 Jacksonville Jaguars 2-10

3 Houston Texans 2-10

4 New York Jets 3-9

5. New York Jets (via SEA) 4-8

As long as the Texans don't win any more games, they’ll remain in the top three for the 2022 draft. If they win another game, they’ll still sit in the top five. If they win more than that, it’s anyone’s guess where they land.

Thankfully, this team wasn’t built to win. Cal McNair, Jack Easterby and David Culley are doing everything they can to sabotage the season, including benching key players, praising terrible performances, and gushing about the eternal flow of toxic positivity all over us like an industrial spill in Baytown.

David Culley

I’m happy with all the guys on the staff and the job they are doing.

It’s honestly surprising McEasterby hasn’t directed the PR staff to put out a celebratory statement of the team crossing the finish line before any of the other 31 franchises.

You can bet the news was received something like this:

Easterby: Cal, did you see we’re the first team eliminated from the playoffs?

McNair (excited!): Great job! I knew you could get us to first place! I knew it! All those stupid fans and media talking heads were so wrong - in your face, Texans fans! We’re number one!!!

Easterby: Err... umm... yeah! That’s right, we’re #1. Great job, sir! Mommy... err... Janice was right to put you in charge.