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2021 Houston Texans Game-By-Game Predictions

It’s ain’t pretty.

New England Patriots v Los Angeles Chargers Photo by Katelyn Mulcahy/Getty Images

It seems you simply can’t get away from the doom and gloom predictions for the 2021 Houston Texans. First, the schedule came out and no one gave Houston a shot at being anything but utterly awful. Next, the Vegas oddsmakers determined the Texans weren’t good enough to have the edge in a single game all season.

Amidst the loss of J.J. Watt and Will Fuller V, the pending loss of Deshaun Watson, the all-time amount of roster churn, the deleterious impact of Kyle McEasterby, and the sham of “competition”, it’s not hard to understand where the dreary outlook comes from. It seems even the patented All-Linebacker-Defense, running a Lovie Smith original 0-11-0 scheme, won’t be enough to lift the All-Field-Goal-Offense to victory.

The latest to pile on is CBS Sports and their 2021 game-by-game predictions. If you want to read the whole piece, go here.

Will the Texans be the worst team in football in 2021? (They were 4-12 with Watson having a career year.) Is the No. 1 pick in their future? Let’s take a game-by-game approach with their 2021 schedule and see where Houston stands (as of now, we’ll assume Watson doesn’t play for the Texans this year — which could change).

Well, that’s certainly all rainbows, sunshine and puppy dogs, for sure... #not

Week 1 vs. Jacksonville Jaguars

Line: Texans +2.5

Opponent win total: O/U 6.0

The Jaguars have this game scheduled on their calendar as the first game in the Urban Meyer and Trevor Lawrence era. Taylor gets the opening day start for Houston, as this will be the start of what looks to be a very rough year for the Texans.

Prediction: Texans lose

Projected record: 0-1

It just gets worse from there...

Week 7 at Arizona Cardinals

Opponent win total: O/U 8.0

Doesn’t get any easier for Houston with this stretch of games coming up. Arizona’s offense is a daunting task for any team, especially if Houston can’t generate a pass rush — which will be a problem throughout the year.

Prediction: Texans lose

Projected record: 0-7

It’s at this point that a new Texans game song emerges. No longer will we hear “Turned Down For WATT!” blaring through the million dollar NRG Stadium sound system. Nope, 2021 will bring a retro, yet more timely, song for the fans in attendance.

Fighting off the urge to walk away, hope will spring eternal... if only to die once more. Introducing the 11th game of 2021, when the CBS folks give the Texans a little daylight.

Week 12 vs. New York Jets

Opponent win total: O/U 6.0

The Jets are a better team, but this is the week Houston gets its first win of the season. Mills throws for three touchdowns as Houston pulls off the surprising upset. There will be no 0-17 team in the league this year.

Prediction: Texans win

Projected record: 1-10

But, wait! There is hope for the future in the silver lining sort of thing (emphasis by us):

Week 18 vs. Tennessee Titans

Opponent win total: O/U 9.5

Houston will lock up the No. 1 pick — and be in the market for Sam Howell or Spencer Rattler. The Texans’ rebuild back to a contender can officially begin after the franchise has their worst season in its young history.

Prediction: Texans lose

Projected record: 1-16

It’s definitely not a great time to be a Texans fan. Tough times build character. When they are back on top—however far away that day may be—those of us sitting in the here and now can say we suffered through the worst of times as Texans fans.