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Houston Texans Want You To Retcon The Bill O’Brien Era

Out with the old... and the mold...

NFL: OCT 09 Texans at Jaguars Photo by David Rosenblum/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Gone are the days of “we need to do a better job” and fourth and forever punts from our own red zone. The era of BO’B is officially over.

And the Houston Texans marketing team wants to help you forget it ever happened.

Don’t peak behind the curtain boys and girls, nothing to see back there. Move along, move along...

What exactly are we talking about you ask? Well, here’s the news straight from Toro’s mouth:

Houston Texans

Time for a Jersey Upgrade!

Houston Texans Team Shop | NRG Stadium

Monday, October 10 to Saturday, October 15

Daily Shop Hours from 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.

This week only, stop by our Team Shop at NRG Stadium to exchange your select former player Nike jerseys for 44% OFF a new current player jersey of the same style (Game, Limited, or Elite)!

If you are exchanging a Limited or Elite jersey, please allow 3 to 6 weeks for our Team Shop to complete your jersey. Game Jerseys are available immediately in-store!

For more information on jersey criteria, accepted player jerseys, directions, and more continue reading or visit the links below.

Jersey Criteria for a Successful Exchange

Your jersey must be of a Houston Texans player – originally acquired during the 2017 to 2021 seasons – who is no longer on the Texans’ roster. Full list here.

Though we are accepting jerseys purchased from vendors other than or Team Shop, your jersey must be an authentic NFL licensed jersey. Visit here to learn more.

You must bring the jersey you are exchanging to the Team Shop to receive a coupon. If you do not have a jersey, we will be unable to provide you with a coupon. We will not accept photos or videos as proof of your jersey.

You may exchange any style of jersey like Game, Limited, or Elite, but your new jersey must be the same style as the one you are exchanging. If you are exchanging a Limited or Elite, you may choose to exchange your jersey for a Game Jersey.

The best part of all this is the jersey featured in the press release was adorned with [NAME REDACTED 2.0]’s #4. Thankfully, right as I was placing one of those in my cart, the news broke that sank a thousand fan hearts and began the end of #4’s time in H-Town...

Here’s the aforementioned list of jerseys you can trade in. (sorry [NAME REDACTED 1.0] didn’t make the cut):

2017 NFL Draft

Deshaun Watson

Zach Cunningham

D’Onta Foreman

Julién Davenport

Carlos Watkins

Treston Decoud

Kyle Fuller

2017 Signings

Angelo Blackson

Dylan Cole

2018 NFL Draft

Justin Reid

Martinas Rankin

Keke Coutee

Duke Ejiofor

Jordan Thomas

Peter Kalambayi

Jermaine Kelly Jr.

2018 Signings

DeAndre Carter

Aaron Colvin

Zach Fulton

Seantrel Henderson

Buddy Howell

Senio Kelemete

Tyrann Mathieu

A.J. Moore

Demaryius Thomas

Joe Webb III

Brandon Weeden

2019 NFL Draft

Lonnie Johnson Jr.

Max Scharping

Kahale Warring

Charles Omenihu

Xavier Crawford

Cullen Gillaspia

2019 Signings

Jahleel Addae

Gareon Conley

Keion Crossen

Darren Fells

Tashaun Gipson Sr.

Vernon Hargreaves III

Carlos Hyde

Duke Johnson

Matt Kalil

Jacob Martin

AJ McCarron

Barkevious Mingo

Bradley Roby

Kenny Stills

2020 Draft

Ross Blacklock

John Reid

Isaiah Coulter

2020 Signings

Randall Cobb

David Johnson

Josh McCown

Michael Thomas

2021 Signings

Marcus Cannon

Mark Ingram II

Phillip Lindsay

Anthony Miller

Tyrod Taylor

Going through this list really elicits a lot of SMH moments. A lot of talented players who never paid dividends and a lot of “what were you thinking?’ landmarks in O’Brien’s reign.

Now, if you’re one of the 2 people who bought a Lonnie Johnson Jr, Barkevious Mingo or Marcus Cannon jersey, you may want to procure a paperbag for headwear so as to avoid the derision and ridicule of your fellow Texans fans during the disposal jersey exchange.

If you’re hoping to score yourself a sweet Julién Davenport jersey from the trade-in pile, sorry, Matt Weston already called dibs on those.

And, before you ask, no this doesn’t seem to cover trading Jack Easterby in on a less character-flawed, character coach. Or a Jose Altuve, Justin Verlander or any other sort of Houston Astros wear. Sorry.

Now GO! Get your Dameon Pierce jersey while supplies last!