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One of the more intriguing stories of the 2022 NFL season to this point is the surprising start of the Giants. Under the highly coveted offensive coordinator Brian Daboll, the Giants are actually winning games. Saquon Barkley, in a contract year, is healthy and running as well as he ever has. Daniel Jones is no longer a liability. The defense is playing solidly and they are winning the close games that they have typically lost the past few seasons.
Yet, are they really good, or just lucky and the beneficiary of a favorable schedule? They lost to the Cowboys and they still have to face the Eagles. I am not sure I would book those Super Bowl tickets if you cheer for the Giants just yet. However, there is one thing we do know for certain...they were the superior team to the Houston Texans on Sunday. As for the Texans, there are no questions about them...they have a solid hold of the #1 slot in the NFL Draft. Now, who they should/will pick with that prime draft position...now you’re talking about some real questions/debate.
As always, your Battle Red Blog Masthead had their real-time thoughts about this game. In classic HOTD tradition, we have replaced all swear words with [KITTEN]. Again, looking out for those of you who are taking a break from checking on Mid-Term Elections results/re-watching highlights from the Houston Astros’ World Series run/Championship Parade while at the office.
With that, on to the ‘Dog.
bigfatdrunk
I am very specifically playing Wan’Dale Robinson and Julian Love against the Texans today.
vballretired
Funny, I am playing Robinson as well
vballretired
Mills is the same height as Jones until you get to the neck
vballretired
Yay! We get the ball. Nothing can go wrong!
Patrick
Well…at least it wasn’t a CHUM.
vballretired
This is an auspicious beginning
Patrick
Joe Davis is an unsettling looking [kitten]. Like we should be checking his backyard with ground penetrating sonar unsettling.
vballretired
Our offense is stuck in reverse.
Patrick
Oh, I may need to start drinking early today.
vballretired
You guys have blue laws?
Patrick
Honestly I don’t know. All I know is at BWW here the bar is very much open.
vballretired
That’s all that matters
Patrick
I mean if there are they must not apply to weed shops because those are open too.
vballretired
I don’t think we can even purchase beer until 10 and can’t purchase liquor at all
Very interesting pronunciation of Greenard there
GREEN Nerd was the go to there
Nice tackle by Owens. That was an extra 11 yards
Touchdown Giants
Patrick
Do y’all remember when we used to have methodical offensive drives that would bend the will of our opponents? I used to.
Nice job by that last guy to essentially push him into the end zone.
vballretired
That would be Pitre
Maybe his PFF scores make some sense
Patrick
I don’t know who came up with that new Burger King jingle but if I ever meet them, I’m going to punch them in the teeth.
I couldn’t sleep last night because it kept playing in my head.
vballretired
The gut is much better. It doesn’t leave a mark. It’s how we handle unruly students
TOUCHDOWN GIANTS, GIANTS LEAD 7-0
Kenneth L.
Vandermeer and Andre Ware were pissed about Pitre on that play
Patrick
Yeah but in the teeth is good and memorable.
vballretired
Stingley had a nice play before that
Patrick
Well it was like he was trying to help him into the end zone, so I’m not surprised.
Round two of the Davis Mills Experience begins.
vballretired
His tackling has been meh
No Pierce make Homer go something something
Patrick
I just looked this up, Washington repealed its blue laws back in 1966.
Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why would you throw that?
vballretired
Gee, must be nice
Patrick
Benefits of living in a very blue state.
vballretired
“If we go three and out, we are good”— David Culley
Patrick
So what you’re telling me is we’re imagining this team in a David Culley offense?
vballretired
We are winning the penalty battle and tied on turnovers
Maybe Pep Hamilton is Culley 2.0
Patrick
Maybe we’re thinking of this wrong and we should try and get David Shaw from St—I can’t even finish this joke.
Cashman? He’s not a name I remember.
vballretired
Free agent from the Jets
Very forgettable track record
Patrick
But you repeat yourself.
vballretired
I do that at work. I get used to it.
Nice throw
Intended for Joe Grass
corydlg
What do you make of people wanting to fire Lovie?!
vballretired
Who is saying that?
vballretired
I mean all three and out offense doesn’t exactly push against that
corydlg
We just have no talent offensively. Maybe two good players? Green and Pierce?
Patrick
This is the first I’m hearing of anyone wanting Lovie gone. If I had to guess it’s just people who don’t pay a ton of attention wanting the team to win and seeing Lovie as an impediment. That or they’re racists or something.
corydlg
Tunsil I suppose
bigfatdrunk
Lovie = Culley. Sacrificial lambs.
Lovie should have never been hired. That’s the problem.
Patrick
Pretty much. Lovie Smith was a marriage of convenience for the Texans.
vballretired
I think after the season it’s a point of discussion if you’re drafting a QB
corydlg
That racism lawsuit got him the job
Patrick
I don’t think he’ll last long but I don’t necessarily want him fired for anything he’s done on the field because it’s not his damn fault.
vballretired
Firing him now would do what exactly?
corydlg
Agreed
bigfatdrunk
Firing him now don’t do squat. Firing and replacing him before we draft is important. I think corydlg has brough that up before.
vballretired
If you had a good OC I could handle Lovie for another couple of years
Patrick
If this were a decently run organization, I would make a comparison to Mao’s Long March as a way to retreat in order to rebuild for another day, but this team does not have Mao Tze-Tung’s organizational skills.
vballretired
I think we are far from that
l4blitzer
More like Chiang Kai-Shek, without the backing of Time Magazine
bigfatdrunk
I see Davis Mills is still as worthless as ever.
vballretired
Seems like Clayton Williams running against Ann Richards
bigfatdrunk
Gotta go for it here, cowards.
Patrick
They’re gonna convert, aren’t they?
corydlg
Likely to
vballretired
They need the wind to go with their 13 OL offense
END OF 1st QUARTER: NJ GIANTS 7 - Houston 0
Patrick
LOL, they pulled a Texans.
bigfatdrunk
Embarrassing.
l4blitzer
Giants bailing us out…why?
bigfatdrunk
COWARDS
Patrick
I guess we don’t have the market cornered on screwups.
bigfatdrunk
What a stupid kittening decision there.
TEXANS POSSESSION
l4blitzer
Now, can the Texans get that first 1st down?
Patrick
You would think, if you were the Giants, looking at the Texans and not calling a run play on 4th and 6 would be malpractice as a football coach.
l4blitzer
GLORY, GLORY…A First Down
Patrick
In Pierce We Trust. All others pay cash
That was [KITTEN]in’ beautiful.
Kenneth L.
Look at pierce
l4blitzer
This running the football thing is good. let’s keep at, shall we?
bigfatdrunk
Well, we can’t throw the ball, so why not?
l4blitzer
Oh, there you go again…throwing the football…
Patrick
Well [KITTEN].
bigfatdrunk
There’s Mills’ lack of arm strength yet again.
Patrick
[DURGA] [KITTEN]ing [KITTEN] that throw.
l4blitzer
Hardly a safety back on that blitz…and surprisingly, Davis didn’t make them pay
Patrick
Just BARELY by the hair on his [KITTEN] made that field goal.
Kenneth L.
Is fairbairn the best kicker in Texas kicker
Patrick
Absolutely not.
For a spell there Neil Rackers was automatic, as I recall.
38 YARD TEXANS FG...JUUUUSSSTTT INSIDE THE LEFT UPRIGHT. HOBOKEN NY GIANTS 7 - TOO FIRMLY PLANTED IN HOUSTON TO PASS OFF TO PEARLAND TEXANS 3; 11:27, 2nd
bigfatdrunk
Kris Brown was great after his first year or two.
Patrick
Durga, a non-Shankopotamus Kris Brown-era All Field Goal Offense? Over whatever this is? Sign me up.
GIANTS POSSESSION
Patrick
Saquon Barkley is a bad, bad man
l4blitzer
Barkley (to Pierce): anything you can do, I can do better…
bigfatdrunk
OWENS!!!
Kenneth L.
Did I miss something?
bigfatdrunk
Yet another tackle after a 15+ yard gain.
Patrick
Sarcasm, Kenneth, sarcasm.
l4blitzer
Even the backups are getting 6-7 yards before contact…goodest run defense of all time
Although the Giants still gonna Giant (circa 2018-2021)
bigfatdrunk
The Giants’ playcalling is pretty bad. Way too conservative.
l4blitzer
Wait..our defense did something?
Patrick
WE GOT ONE!!!
bigfatdrunk
Good kitten, the Giants look terrible.
TEXANS POSSESSION AFTER AN EPIC 14 yard PUNT
l4blitzer
The Scottish Hammer…looks like he is trying to punt a caber vs an American football
bigfatdrunk
Their last two punts have netted, what 35 yards? Maybe punting so deep in your opponent’s territory is stupid?
Patrick
Especially against THIS team, that you should be reasonably sure will not be able to respond.
l4blitzer
Pierce just missed breaking a big one
Patrick
That was the funniest fumble I’ve ever seen.
bigfatdrunk
Well, at least it wasn’t Burkhead.
l4blitzer
It is just as well Daboll is already bald. He would have pulled all of his hair out by now
Giants with no respect for the Texans passing game at all.
Patrick
For good reason.
bigfatdrunk
Somebody has to be the team MVP, I guess.
bigfatdrunk
See the safety anticipate the snap count? Zero respect. Less than zero.
GIANTS POSSESSION AFTER A LEGIT TEXANS PUNT PINS THE NJ-NY GIANTS AT THE 3
Kenneth L.
Let’s see if the defense can get some pressure. Giants offensive line is good
bigfatdrunk
I haven’t had a McRib since high school (1988), and I continue to be befuddled by its existence.
Patrick
Yeah it’s having a farewell tour the way the Rolling Stones have had like 30 farewell tours.
Surprisingly good field position. Wonder how we’ll botch this.
TWO MINUTE WARNING
Kenneth L.
Why the hell is Jake freaking Hansen in at LB
l4blitzer
Well, they already flashed the stat that the Giants are 30th in 1st half points, so you can figure on them adding to it.
Patrick
GEESE!
I hope that cameraman was careful, those geese are [KITTEN]s.
l4blitzer
They would hit better than our linebackers right now
bigfatdrunk
We called a time out...to help the Giants???
Patrick
Lovie Smith felt it was the Christian thing to do.
Obviously.
l4blitzer
Bailing out the Giants…the Texans are such a charitable defense
bigfatdrunk
Uhhh, yeah, that’s pretty obvious.
Patrick
That was a “well, no [KITTEN]” holding call.
l4blitzer
Golladay hearing it from the NJ crowd..as he should
D may have held…
Patrick
Fourth and one and they’re punting. c’mon Giants, look at who you’re playing against.
TEXANS POSSESSION
Patrick
Dear Santa, for Christmas I want one of those helmet warmers. I don’t have any helmets but I do wear a lot of hats so that would be lovely, thank you.
bigfatdrunk
I’m so ready for the Davis Mills Two-Minute Experience. INT or fumble?
vballretired
7-3 might be an insurmountable lead. I get punting if I’m them. You think the Texans are scoring again?
l4blitzer
The way he is playing…it’ll be the ol’ 3 incompletes and out
Patrick
I think you mean “completions to John Turf.” Or “Joe Gr[KITTEN],” as VBall called him.
l4blitzer
Eh, that works as well
Why are we doubting the epic 4 of 10 for 16 yds performance?
bigfatdrunk
Oh, right! I forgot about Mills’ favorite receiver.
Patrick
Wait, how did the Texans GAIN five seconds in the game? Last I saw there were 49 seconds left in the half.
vballretired
Early halftime reflections: I refuse to think these offensive players are this bad. Without Pierce you don’t even have a first down. This team needs better coaching on offense. I’m okay letting Lovie stick around but this offensive staff needs to be blown up.
bigfatdrunk
It still amazes me, week in/week out, just how bad Mills is.
l4blitzer
Mills is having such a bad day, he isn’t on target with the INTs
vballretired
Clutch penalty
Kenneth L.
Tunsil did that on purpose
Patrick
Brandin “I just wanna win despite signing a two year extension with a team he should [DURGA][KITTEN] well know isn’t ready to win now” Cooks has checked into the game.
bigfatdrunk
At least three holds by the o-line on that play. Beautiful.
Mills is so bad. Just so bad.
vballretired
You hold on a sack it should be 20 yards
l4blitzer
Aw, man. Daboll taking away another opportunity for Mills and the offense to derp
Patrick
The world is so full of beauty and wonder.
GIANTS POSSESSION
vballretired
Notice Jones almost looks playable with real coaching though. Mills sucks but there are other kitteny quarterbacks in this league that look much better because they don’t have a clown show for an offensive staff
Patrick
The defense did a thing?
vballretired
Jerry Hughes with a meaningless sack
HUGHES WITH A SACK...AND THUS THE HALF ENDS: GIANTS 7 - TEXANS 3
Patrick
New rule: every Texans coach from here on out must grow a beautiful Lovie Smith-style beard. Can I get a second?
HALFTIME REACTIONS
bigfatdrunk
We don’t need guys to be good pros. We need guys to be good football players, FKS.
PLUS, if we need guys like Hughes and Burkhead so badly, WTK do we even have a coaching staff?
I’m so kittening sick and tired of the slobbering.
vballretired
As unimaginative as Lovie is on defense and as bad as they are against the run, they still find ways to compete in most weeks. This offense is just unbelievably bad and that’s with the likely NFL Offensive ROY. This passing attack makes me think I’m watching my daughter cheerlead at an 8B football game.
Patrick
Even though Kubiak hasn’t coached this team in eight years, they remain battlefightin’.
bigfatdrunk
Houston is 30th by DDVOA. The defense isn’t good. It’s just been lucky so far today. Dabolll needs to pull his head out of his kitten.
Ew.
l4blitzer
Maybe the Giants aren’t all that good. The Texans D, after that opening drive TD has more or less held the Giants in check. The Giants are making too many dumb plays that give the Texans hope. However, as far as Davis Mills is concerned, he must think he is playing the 1986 Giants and Lawrence Taylor is in face on every play. His play continues to affirm the belief that he ain’t starter material
Patrick
Question for the group: What is the ugliest stadium in the NFL and why is it Hard Rock Stadium in Miami?
bigfatdrunk
I hate everything I have seen about the stadium in LV. Everything. It’s so ugly. It’s so...Vegas.
vballretired
Isn’t that Joe Robbie Stadium?
l4blitzer
Never should have left Joe Robbie Stadium with the shiny bright green Astroturf. Sure it ended the careers of so many players and wasn’t economically feasible, but why change
Patrick
No, I think they demolished that.
l4blitzer
Pancakes calling for Kyle Allen
vballretired
That’s the answer
Mills 6 for 13 for 35 yards. That’s about 2.7 yards per attempt (give or take a decimal point). That’s pretty good right?
Patrick
In the 30s, maybe.
bigfatdrunk
NYG DDVOA: 25. Their D ain’t that great.
Patrick
If this game were a dog, I’d shave its [KITTEN] and teach it to walk backwards.
vballretired
But no turnovers so he’s a Culley guy.
THIRD QUARTER
vballretired
There’s the run defense we know and love
bigfatdrunk
OWENS!!!!!
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
vballretired
Well that was a development
l4blitzer
Such gooder defense there
Patrick
OH. MY. [DURGA].
bigfatdrunk
Pitre misses SO MANY tackles.
Patrick
I don’t think I’ve laughed harder at a Texans defensive “stand” in my entire life.
vballretired
But he’s always around the ball
Patrick
That’s gonna be on Sportscenter.
DARIUS SLAYTON WITH A 54 YARD TD AFTER A HORRIBLE MISSED TACKLE: TRI-STATE GIANTS 14 - HOUSTON 3; 12:33, 3rd
vballretired
Do we even get to 14 in this game?
Patrick
If they do, it’ll be by accident. Or garbage time.
bigfatdrunk
That’s at least 20 missed tackles for Pitre now, which easily leads the league.
corydlg
Greatest no effort play I’ve ever seen. Pitre never even had a good angle on a totally immobile slaton
bigfatdrunk
Things I have never said: I wish Stallone would make another movie.
bigfatdrunk
YES.
vballretired
Rocky VIII?
bigfatdrunk
Win probability for the Giants is now 90%. In a 14-3 game. Jeebus.
bigfatdrunk
NO.
I, ummmm....hated the Rocky movies.
l4blitzer
Win prob for Giants now: 87.1%
Patrick
What, you’re not excited for TULSA KING?!
vballretired
Rocky fights Apollo Creed’s decomposing corpse?
bigfatdrunk
Who wants to be the King of Tulsa? I mean, was Kitten Mountain already taken?
Patrick
Sylvester Stallone having to make a new life for himself in Oklahoma should be a comedy, not a serious crime drama.
vballretired
There are a ton of ranches for a metropolitan area
Patrick
Otherwise this is just gritty My Blue Heaven.
With Steve Martin.
TEXANS POSSESSION
vballretired
Wait is that a first down or am I hallucinating again?
Patrick
Blind pigs and acorns.
l4blitzer
You probably are, but it is a 1st down
vballretired
I need more liquor. It’s a chemical imbalance.
l4blitzer
Was that a 27 go slant out, one deflection route, right?
vballretired
Like I thought the Giant was the intended receiver on that play
vballretired
All hail penalty offense
l4blitzer
Giants still not quite a good team, as they are letting the Texans move the ball
Patrick
First and goal? Must be a glitch in the matrix or something.
This field goal is going to be beautiful
Patrick
Delay of game, dear [DURGA], this offense.
l4blitzer
The patented ill-times delay of game penalty…so Pep Hamilton
So, of course, TD
vballretired
Holy kittens!
Patrick
Definitely a glitch in the matrix.
Welcome to the game, Nico Collins.
bigfatdrunk
Oh, great, the Mills Mafia will have him in the HOF again.
NICO COLLINS WITH A 12-YARD TD. GIANTS 14 - TEXANS 10; 8:06, 3rd
vballretired
We’ve reached 25 QBR range people
Patrick
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! PARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
corydlg
All stuff aside that was a good throw and catch
Patrick
Matt Stafford looks embarrassed to be in those Little Caesars ads.
bigfatdrunk
Etienne is going to destroy us the next time we play the Glitter Kitties. He looks SO GOOD right now.
Patrick
No argument here. Just wish Mills could string together more than one good throw and catch in a game
vballretired
It was. The Moore catch should have been a pick, but he had some good throws otherwise
corydlg
That’s just his “acting face”
#TRUTH
bigfatdrunk
Win probability is still 80% for the Giants.
corydlg
It was 80% pre kickoff lol
vballretired
Following the tradition of being within one score through three quarters
corydlg
I took the under and the Texans w/the points this week
vballretired
Harris playing a decent game
corydlg
So I’m happy
Patrick
A tradition unlike any other...which is why I dislike traditions: they’re peer pressure from dead people.
That’s the only right move to make there, Cory.
l4blitzer
Eric Murray on the field…and a 3rd down conversion
Patrick
I actually won “big” by betting against the Texans when they played the Raiders in Las Vegas.
Say what you will about how terrible this team is, at least they’re reliable.
vballretired
I picture the Masters music but instead a montage of fourth quarter sucking.
corydlg
Lol
bigfatdrunk
There is no reason to sit Pitre. So stupid.
Patrick
THEY WHAT?!
l4blitzer
Good thing the Texans stuck out all of those arms…saved the TD…
vballretired
But but but Eric Murray
l4blitzer
Jones with his Mills impression
Patrick
Did they really sit Pitre? Because now I can think of a reason I’d want Lovie Smith fired.
bigfatdrunk
That was a Mills-esque throw.
Nobody is covering Jones on the read option. Nobody.
vballretired
Jones will be 7-2. Just let that sink in.
bigfatdrunk
Woof.
Patrick
Well...the Giants will be 7-2. He’ll just be able to coast on it.
l4blitzer
Pitre made that tackle…20 yards downfield, but the tackle
vballretired
Here comes the rush defense
Hey look at Miami put it on Cleveland
Patrick
The what now?
And Durga bless them for it too.
Who would’ve guessed Tua could be an NFL QB?
[KITTEN], just let him in at this point.
We all know how this drive ends, Texans, so let’s get on with it.
vballretired
It’s amazing what coaching and the two fastest receivers in football can do.
Patrick
And there it is. TD Giants.
vballretired
Touchdown Giants
bigfatdrunk
Even Frank Bush thought that was too easy.
Patrick
vballretired
Another Pitre missed tackle
Patrick
I don’t care, leave him in. He’s a rookie, he needs to learn.
BARKLEY WITH THE 2 YARD TD: THE 5 BOROUGHS/2 STATE GIANTS 21 - TEXANS 10; 2:21, 3rd
bigfatdrunk
LOL!
Patrick
I mentioned this before, but I think the Jets and GIants should have an in-season competition where the team with the best record gets to be the New York team and the worse record should be the New Jersey team in the following season. Unless they play each other in the regular season then that game should determine who gets to be New York next season.
vballretired
Relegation. I like it.
bigfatdrunk
I cannot imagine the importance of that game.
TEXANS POSSESSION
vballretired
All Pierce offense
Patrick
Bless your heart, Dameon Pierce, you’re still trying.
bigfatdrunk
The Texans are down two possessions, and we have a FB in the game???
l4blitzer
Pierce nearly broke that one as well
vballretired
Nice throw there to John Turf
l4blitzer
Imagine this offense with a mildly competent QB
Patrick
Joe Grass with another reception.
bigfatdrunk
Perfect.
vballretired
That’s how you take your star tailback out of the game
Patrick
Sure, why not take a timeout right now?
vballretired
Pep needs to draw up a five yard dump pass to Rex Burkhead
Patrick
We really should have known our offense wouldn’t be saved by someone named “Pep.”
bigfatdrunk
What do you mean draw up? That’s our only play call on 3rd.
l4blitzer
Hey, the short dump off worked
Ok, Burkhead was not in on the play, but still
vballretired
They were confused with Burkhead not in
Patrick
Well that’s the end of the drive there.
vballretired
Holy kittens
Patrick
Huh?
l4blitzer
Apparently, the Texans bad tackling is contagious
Patrick
I repeat, HUH?!
END OF THE 3RD QUARTER: FIGHTIN’ BARKLEYS 21 - FIGHTIN’ PIERCES 10
vballretired
All YAC passing attack
Patrick
Unrelated but Dalvin Cook is a bad, bad man.
First and what now for the Texans?
vballretired
Fumble
Patrick
Of course.
l4blitzer
Time for that patented Texans 4th quarter to come through…and it does
Patrick
But wait, there’s a flag.
Never mind.
vballretired
Kenyon Green with another holding call
Patrick
Woooooooooooow, that was [KITTEN].
bigfatdrunk
Dammit, not Pierce. I love to make fun of this team, but I love Pierce.
TEXANS FUMBLE IN THE RED ZONE; GIANTS RECOVER
Patrick
Would the Texans be better if we had hired Brian Daboll to be HC instead of Lovie?
Or would it really matter?
bigfatdrunk
Oh Durga yes.
vballretired
Sure
bigfatdrunk
Daboll took Josh Allen and turned him into a legit MVP candidate.
vballretired
Here comes the pain
He took Jones and made him passable
l4blitzer
And yet, the Giants waste that possession…
bigfatdrunk
Nobody is covering Jones on the RO. Horrible play calling and decisions by the Giants on offense.
vballretired
Detroit making it interesting against the Bears. We may have a game and a half lead on 31st after today
TEXANS POSSESSION
vballretired
Do we even need Cooks the rest of this year? I think we should say he has whiplash.
Patrick
I think as long as the Astros remain WS contenders, the Texans should remain cellar dwellers. Not because I dislike the Texans or anything but because watching a team with zero expectations is incredibly relaxing compared to watching the Astros where I live and die with each at bat during the playoffs. Having both the Texans AND the Astros be good would probably be bad for the health of most Houstonians.
l4blitzer
Welp, Texans with another chance to excel in the Red Zone
Patrick
Joe Turf with another reception.
That’s coming back, I’m sure.
vballretired
Nice clutch penalty by Cooks
l4blitzer
Clutch offensive penalties for Houston
bigfatdrunk
Pick or fumble?
Patrick
Whut?
That’s coming back.
bigfatdrunk
Hold.
l4blitzer
Super Clutch Penalty!!!!
vballretired
Flag though. Nice third hold on Green
Patrick
Second and 25, this can’t miss.
bigfatdrunk
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
vballretired
Hahahahagahagagagahaagsa
Patrick
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL, the dumbest throw of the day.
GIANTS FORCE ANOTHER RED ZONE TURNOVER (MILLS INT IN END ZONE); GIANTS POSSESSION
corydlg
How did he think going to the same spot a second time was smart
bigfatdrunk
OWENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Ed Note: There was a substantial conversation between individuals on the Masthead that wasn’t exactly...germane...to the course of the football game*...We return to your regularly scheduled HOTD]
*Or for long-term relationships.
l4blitzer
Meanwhile, the Giants are on the move
bigfatdrunk
Texans celebrating like they won the SB. Play clock and game says otherwise.
vballretired
Oh wait, they are still playing?
l4blitzer
In the interim, the Texans forced a punt
TEXANS POSSESSION
corydlg
And still screwed up
vballretired
My Durga, just put us out of our misery
bigfatdrunk
Every one of Mills’ long receptions was all YAC.
vballretired
Fumble sack.
Patrick
Another grab for Joe Turf.
Wait, did the Giants recover that?
vballretired
Or sack fumble. Does the terminology matter?
Does it matter?
bigfatdrunk
That looks like a fumble to me.
vballretired
Arm going up and not forward
Patrick
That’s gonna stand, isn’t it?
vballretired
You could almost flip the second year QBs from last season. Mac Jones completely sucks, Mills mostly sucks and the rest get a little better from there.
l4blitzer
To quote Monty Python: “Get on with it!!!”
bigfatdrunk
Right??? Like the call matters.
vballretired
I shall taunt you a second time.
l4blitzer
15 minutes of my life I won’t ever get back
vballretired
Do we beat Washington next week?
Patrick
Come on this game isn’t in doubt just get on with it.
vballretired
If we don’t I don’t think we win again.
Patrick
We tie.
vballretired
Cleveland getting killed
bigfatdrunk
In the modern NFL, a QB HAS TO BE ABLE TO PUSH THE BALL DOWN THE FIELD. Mills is completely incapable of doing that.
l4blitzer
Carson Wentz might be back though…he’s good for a coin flip decision
Patrick
Finally some good news.
vballretired
Why are we running it?
bigfatdrunk
Because of passes like that?
vballretired
He pushed that one right into the tunnel
Patrick
Hey, that was pushing the ball down the field, right?
Kenneth L.
Browns lost. Lions are one point up
Patrick
Wow, this might go our way for a change.
l4blitzer
Offsetting penalty play…cool
vballretired
Awesome offsetting kittens
Patrick
Again, more good news.
vballretired
Intended for Lew Alcindor
Patrick
Now how the hell is that not PI?
Whatever.
l4blitzer
FG time…likely
vballretired
Thank Durga, said all Fairbairn fantasy owners
Patrick
Sure. A field goal with 2:30 left to go. Because that’ll matter.
FAIRBAIRN 34 yard FG. The Near-Manahattan Giants 21 - THE NEAR THE SPREAD TEXANS 13; 2:22, 4th
Patrick
Detroit’s gonna win the football game! DETROIT IS GONNA WIN THE FOOTBALL GAME!
corydlg
Cause the bears are awful
vballretired
We have a 1.5 game lead for last
bigfatdrunk
Go Lions!
Didn’t go 10. Offsides.
l4blitzer
Of course a flag on the play
vballretired
We didn’t let it go 10
Kenneth L.
Cants even do that right
vballretired
Assess both of them.
bigfatdrunk
That’s ballgame, beaches.
l4blitzer
And Ross had been doing so well today…
vballretired
Pittsburgh beats the Saints. All hail all three win teams.
HOUSTON BOTCHES THE ONSIDE KICK WITH MULTIPLE PENALTIES: GIANTS BALL
vballretired
The slide with Owens on the “tackle”
Holy Durga, a defensive stop
Patrick
Maybe the Texans need a battle emu to go and peck at the other team’s coaches?
vballretired
The Saints have the 30 something version of Mills at quarterback
bigfatdrunk
The Texans have wasted the last 30 minutes of our lives.
vballretired
Times five
bigfatdrunk
My biggest fear was the Mills would become the next Dalton. Thankfully, that seems to be passing.
Patrick
At least Dalton led the Bengals to the playoffs.
vballretired
Well he’s the current version of Dalton
bigfatdrunk
And lost. Repeatedly.
Patrick
Hey, I never said he did WELL.
bigfatdrunk
I mean, look, we play in the AFCS. There’s a reason BOB could make it to the playoffs: an elite defense in a kitten-y division.
vballretired
He put up good regular season numbers. Almost like a Bryan Hoyer
corydlg
Alright let’s get that TD and cover
vballretired
They’ve already called it
GIANTS ADD 49 yard FIELD GOAL; BORDERING THE EAST RIVER GIANTS 24 - LEADING THE RACE FOR #1 PICK TEXANS 13
bigfatdrunk
Mills will look good against prevent, now.
corydlg
A full 2 minutes, we should score
vballretired
He will kitten around and clear 300 yards passing
bigfatdrunk
At least two holds on that play.
vballretired
Hahahahahagagagagahahaga
Hahagagagagagagagaha, field goal with seven seconds left……hahahafa
Kenneth L.
Why didn’t they spike it…..
vballretired
Lovie has Fairbairn in his Yahoo league
WOOOOOOOOOOOO A [TEXANS] FIELD GOAL WITH 7 SECONDS LEFT IN THE GAME! WE GOTTEM RIGHT WHERE WE WANT ‘EM Y’ALL!!!
vballretired
A one score game….it’s a morale victory
corydlg
Sssooo that FG was the worst time mgmt decision ever if they onsidedit after
vballretired
The Titans looking to clinch the division in week ten
If the Raiders win then the entire league has three wins
Kenneth L.
Texans lose, Browns lose, and lions win. Good week
Patrick
I’ll take it.
vballretired
Steelers also win for their clutch third win.
Patrick
Yeah, I could’ve done with them losing this week.
vballretired
We need to set up a cushion in case we win a meaningless game or two.
GAME BALL: While the primary weapon for the Texans, RB Dameon Pierce, led the team with 122 total yards from scrimmage, he unfortunately had a critical Red Zone fumble in the 4th quarter when the Texans were driving to cut the lead back down to either 3 or 5 (pending the hypothetical 2 point conversion attempt after the potential TD). Sorry, but we can’t give the coveted HOTD Game Ball in this instance. Better luck next week. We almost were going to give this to Special Teams Coach Frank Ross, but the comedy of errors on the on-side kick at the end of the game (starting out lined-up off-sides AND touching the ball before it went 10 yards) also disqualified him. Yet, the sins of the coach do not taint all special teamers. Cam Johnston gets the game ball here. Punting in the always treacherous MetLife Stadium, he delivered a 45.8 yards/kick average, including two inside the 2. Oh, and he outmatched the home-team “Scottish Hammer” for the Giants, Jamie Gillian. Johnston was to Gillian as Edward I was to William Wallace.
SHOULD BE FORCED TO DRINK ONLY TAP WATER FROM THE EAST AND HUDSON RIVERS WHILE LISTENING TO YANKEE FANS WHINE HOW THEY HAVEN’T YET WON THEIR RIGHTFUL 28th WORLD SERIES: Once again, so many candidates from the Texans to chose from, from all the mental mistakes, the horrid run defense, 4th quarter red zone execution and some really, really questionable coaching decisions in the final two minutes of the game. However, the standout (for all the wrong reasons) has to be the rookie Safety Jalen Pitre. While he is but a rookie, and has shown some promise (think his game ball against the Bears), this game was not his best. His whiff of a tackle on Darius Slayton altered the course of the game. He makes the tackle, the Texans get a solid 3rd down stop. Instead, he not only missed, but there was no other Texans defender within 15 yards of the play. That gave Slayton enough space to sprint full bore for 54 yards and the Giants would hold the strategic edge for the rest of the game. Pitre would surrender another TD later in the game. While the arrow on Pitre’s potential continues to point upwards, there will be games like this.
We are also going to call out the Giants (and the Jets for that matter) for false advertising. The Giants label themselves “New York”, but they have played their home games within the borders of the state of New Jersey for over 46 years. The last NFL game played within New York city limits was in 1983. So the state of New Jersey has 4 Super Bowl titles, whereas New York City’s, and the state of New York for that matter, only real “Super Bowl” is courtesy of the New York Jets, back in the 1968 season. Yes, there is a lawsuit out there about this. While I think the lawsuit is dumb, I agree with the sentiment. So, unless New York plans to annex East Rutherford/Newark/Hoboken...and the Giants/Jets still plan to play at MetLife...they will remain the New Jersey Giants/Jets.
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