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Houston Texans start new quarterback, end same way

Kyle Allen continues push for No. 1 draft pick.

Houston Texans v Miami Dolphins Photo by Megan Briggs/Getty Images

It’s almost laughable that any of us expect a Monday morning after a Houston Texans game to be anything other than disappointing. The Texans coaching staff seems entirely inept, the roster is full of holes, the game plan seems to be “pull the goalie early and often” and the losses are piling up like traffic on 290.

Yet, time and again we find ourselves hoping for some miracle that shows the team is competitive.

But that hope is wasted in 2022.

Now, instead, we’re forced to push that hope into the 2023 offseason, where Nick Caserio can take the draft capital and salary cap space to build a better team.

Davis Mills is clearly not the answer at quarterback. Kyle Allen doesn’t even seem to be the answer for the backup. But, the No. 1 draft pick means Houston can take Alabama Crimson Tide QB Bryce Young or Ohio State Buckeye C.J. Stroud... or any of the other potential NFL starting quarterbacks in the upcoming draft.

Meanwhile, the rest of us are left sitting here watching this slow-motion train wreck that won’t stop wrecking.

Against the Miami Dolphins yesterday, Allen threw 26 completions on 39 attempts and two interceptions. Allen also fumbled twice. Good job. He did toss a touchdown, but that came well after the Dolphins had racked up a 30-0 lead at halftime.

Rookie running back sensation Dameon Pierce rushed for eight yards on five carries. His second consecutive game with a terrible total. Just a few weeks ago, at least we had Pierce to follow. Now, even that’s seemingly a memory.

The defense did manage to nail six sacks, but that really doesn’t matter when you cough up 30 points in one half. Granted, one of the Dolphins’ touchdowns was on a scoop-and-score, but still.

At this point, we’re running out of ways to voice disappointment in this team. Now all we can do is avert our eyes and wait for the pain to stop.

Oh, and to make it worse, Deshaun Watson and the Cleveland Browns come to town next week in the former Texans quarterback’s first game back from suspension. As these things go, don’t be surprised if the Houston defense gives up another 30 points, but in the first quarter...

Kyle Allen vs. Deshaun Watson — the shootout no Texans fan wants to see.