Once upon a time, some 20+ years or so ago, a brand new franchise was forged in the NFL. It was a time of hope, a time of unlimited potential for Houston football fans. And time flows as it does to bring this new team, the Houston Texans, out onto the national stage against one of the most insufferable teams in sports, the New York Yankees. Sorry, I meant Los Angeles Lakers. No, wait, that’s not the right one. I mean the Dallas Cowboys.
My apologies, I always have trouble keeping all those frontrunner teams straight.
Anyway, fast forward to now and that hope is now buried so deep you need drilling equipment to excavate it. The unlimited potential of the team ran into a gauntlet of bad ownership, worse coaching, and whatever the hell Jack Easterby was. As a result, your Houston Texans are playing against that same Yankees/Lakers/Cowboys/whatever team as 17 point underdogs.
It takes a special level of terrible not just to be double-digit underdogs, but 2+ touchdown underdogs to boot. I could try and list out some positives and why we could, in theory, maybe, possibly, even beat the Cowboys on Sunday, but I won’t insult your intelligence.
Instead, I will show you where in the world (the US, anyway) you can watch the Texans game. Obviously, I’ll watch because I’m stupid and make bad decisions with my life; I hope y’all will too, here at Battle Red Blog.
In the meantime, here is the big board brought to you by 506 Sports.
Here’s the breakdown for the Fox Early games on this board.
Red: Philadelphia Eagles at New York Giants (Joe Davis, Daryl Johnston)
Blue: Houston Texans at Dallas Cowboys (Kevin Kugler, Mark Sanchez)
[Ed. Note: ::giggle:: buttfumble.]
Green: Minnesota Vikings at Detroit Lions (Kenny Albert, Jonathan Vilma)
Sooooooo...good news, all of Texas and most surrounding states, y’all get to watch the Texans play in the comfort of your own home this weekend! Aren’t you excited? I know I am.
Here are the options for your viewing/listening pleasure on Sunday:
What: Houston Texans at That Team Up North
Where: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, South Oklahoma.
When: Sunday, December 11, 12:05 CST
TV: Fox (Kevin Kugler, Mark Sanchez)
Radio: KILT Sports Radio 610 AM
Game Odds (per DraftKings Sportsbook)
This game is gonna be rough. And I guess if the Texans lose to the Cowboys, maybe it’ll make up for Cowboys fans’ pain and angst after watching their Yankees get swept in the ALCS by your two-time World Series champion Houston Astros.
Take the Texans with the points, if you dare.
Enjoy the game, y’all.