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Week 14 Countdown to Kickoff: Houston Texans at Dallas Cowboys

This is your four hour football warning.

NFL: Cleveland Browns at Houston Texans
Nope. Not this week.
Thomas Shea-USA TODAY Sports

Good morning guys and gals and non-binary pals, and welcome to week 14 of the NFL season. When last we left the Houston Texans, they were getting pantsed by the Cleveland Browns in a game that was as ugly as it was lopsided.

But that’s fine. I know we’ll do better this week team up north. You know the ones. The ones in Oklahoma where their frontrunner fans will spend hundreds or thousands of dollars to spend three hours in the house that evil built. Those guys.

I’m gonna level with you here, this game is going to be gross. The Texans probably won’t even be competitive and that’s fine. Why break with tradition this year? But there will be a little something to keep an eye on: will the Texans beat the massive 17 point spread staring them in the face?

Historically the Texans play close-ish games and 17 points, even for a team as bad as the Texans are, that is a significant gulf to clear. So to save yourself a little bit of sanity, don’t root for the Texans to win, root for them to beat the spread so at least the loss won’t be a complete embarrassment.

And here are my picks for this fine Sunday, brought to you by DraftKings Sportsbook.

For entertainment purposes only.

Please do not take financial advice from a football blog.